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Original poster

To be really worried about being single at 35

110 replies

Groolish · 20/06/2025 11:24

Just that really, what if I have lost my looks?

I was so pretty in my 20’s and early thirties and I feel so rubbish that my ex had all my best years and now I might end up single forever. Am I just having a bad day?

OP posts:
iamnotalemon · 20/06/2025 19:04

OneLoudTiger · 20/06/2025 18:43

I think you’re just having a bad day.

I am 33 and very single - I think I’ve been single for too long at this point! I enjoy it but sometimes I do have the odd day of wanting to find someone. The problem is I just hate dating at the moment 😂

Totally agree and I’m 45. I’d like to meet someone but unless they can add something to my life and not make it worse, I really can’t be bothered. Especially with how dating is nowadays.

MemorableTrenchcoat · 20/06/2025 18:57

Groolish · 20/06/2025 18:49

Well no as apparently get more desirable and attractive as they get older

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So Robert Redford, Harrison Ford and Robert Wagner are more attractive now than they were 60 years ago? I don’t think so.

Praying4Peace · 20/06/2025 18:53

HonestAquaMember · 20/06/2025 11:37

I used to feel like this! I'm 30, twin sister always in long term relationships. I started doing things by myself. Cinema, theatre, day trips, zoos...enjoy your own company and the freedom to do what you want, when you want!

This.
Embrace simgledom

Donaldduck22 · 20/06/2025 18:51

OneLoudTiger · 20/06/2025 18:43

I think you’re just having a bad day.

I am 33 and very single - I think I’ve been single for too long at this point! I enjoy it but sometimes I do have the odd day of wanting to find someone. The problem is I just hate dating at the moment 😂

Same I'm 34 and have been single ages. Im almost too used to it. Also hate dating 😂

IndigoBluey · 20/06/2025 18:50

Single and 39 over here. Genuinely best shape and mind set so far. I’ve put this down to hard exercise classes mixed with some easier ones on low energy days, throwing myself into activities I’ve always wanted to try and going, even when I feel nervous. For example I went along to Padel for the first time last month and loved it. I do find it sad when people rely on a partner to make themselves feel good. 35 isn’t at all old! Also people have a good sense of neediness / desperation so try and nip it in the bud

Original poster
Groolish · 20/06/2025 18:49

MemorableTrenchcoat · 20/06/2025 18:41

Everyone loses their looks. Also, you had your ex’s best years too, it’s a two way street.

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Well no as apparently get more desirable and attractive as they get older

OP posts:
LlynTegid · 20/06/2025 18:44

It's the end of the week, the humidity is higher than usual (and heat). I'd call it a bad day, nothing more.

OneLoudTiger · 20/06/2025 18:43

I think you’re just having a bad day.

I am 33 and very single - I think I’ve been single for too long at this point! I enjoy it but sometimes I do have the odd day of wanting to find someone. The problem is I just hate dating at the moment 😂

MemorableTrenchcoat · 20/06/2025 18:41

Groolish · 20/06/2025 16:47

So you don’t agree that women lose their looks?

Everyone loses their looks. Also, you had your ex’s best years too, it’s a two way street.

Donaldduck22 · 20/06/2025 18:41

Yanbu and I sympathise as I feel exactly the same at 34. People in relationships don't understand, I've learnt that now! You'll get loads of comments on here saying oh my best friends aunties dogs sister met her dream man at 40 and they are the happiest people I know. If you're anything like me it won't make you feel a jot better.

DirtyBird · 20/06/2025 18:38

I’d give anything to be single at 35 again. (I’m 54…and single 😂)

Original poster
Groolish · 20/06/2025 17:52

Do Botox and fillers actually work?

OP posts:
WhereHasMyPlanetGone · 20/06/2025 17:18

Groolish · 20/06/2025 16:47

So you don’t agree that women lose their looks?

Whether they do or they don’t (which is subjective and depends on how much people value youth as a measure of attractiveness) there’s nothing you can actually do about ageing, bar looking after yourself as much as possible. So what’s the point in dwelling on it? People get older (men and women). As you age, the men you are attracted to are ageing too.

Icanttakethisanymore · 20/06/2025 17:15

Groolish · 20/06/2025 16:47

So you don’t agree that women lose their looks?

Everyone gets less conventionally attractive, my point is, what are you going to do about it? Be sad however? Or detach your happiness from how you look. Discover your self worth in a way which doesn’t revolve around how you look.

ChocolateGanache · 20/06/2025 17:10

Groolish · 20/06/2025 16:47

So you don’t agree that women lose their looks?

Me and my female friends are all beautiful! We are 49-50.

ChocolateGanache · 20/06/2025 17:09

Groolish · 20/06/2025 11:35

I suppose I just feel unattractive because I am old

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Ohh get a grip you’re NOT old!!!
if you were pretty before then you still are OP!

Piffle11 · 20/06/2025 17:07

I became single – my choice – at 36 1/2. Five years later I was with a lovely man and had two children. Still together nearly 20 years later.

PondUnderTrees · 20/06/2025 17:01

Groolish · 20/06/2025 16:47

So you don’t agree that women lose their looks?

I look better at 52 than I did fifteen years ago in the throes of baby rearing and work stress.

PondUnderTrees · 20/06/2025 17:00

BatchCookBabe · 20/06/2025 12:59

Why do people keep banging on about how sooooooooo amazing it is to be single, and how the OP doesn't neeeeeeeed a man to be fulifilled, and she doesn't need to be in a relationship?! She is posting because she is not happy single, and is worried she is losing her looks and may not be attractive to men anymore.

Whilst I doubt that is true, many women feel like the OP as they get older, and people saying 'why so focussed on looks?' and 'you don't need a man!' is not helping the OP at all.

Sigh. Because ‘desperate, panicking, poor self-esteem, and grasping at straws’ is not a good way either (a) to live or (b) to find and maintain a healthy, happy relationship.

Changingplace · 20/06/2025 16:51

katmunchkin · 20/06/2025 11:37

Try being 39 and in this situation 🤣

Try being 47 🤣 I’m actually looking forward to being single but then I’m so over Ex ‘D’ H and have no interest in any men right now whatsoever!

Original poster
Groolish · 20/06/2025 16:47

So you don’t agree that women lose their looks?

OP posts:
Icanttakethisanymore · 20/06/2025 13:59

You need to work on your self esteem. I could tell you that 35 is not old but that's really not the point. One day you will be old and if you don't want to be miserable for decades until you die I suggest working on yourself and trying to detach your self worth from how old you are and how you look. Good luck. I'm not saying it's easy.

Twelftytwo · 20/06/2025 13:40

@Groolish that's good that fertility isn't a worry.

Re. Losing your looks, do you think that people over 35 can't find a partner?
You're coming across a little vain. I'm sure you have loads to offer a potential partner besides looks

Gemi33 · 20/06/2025 13:30

I'm 42 and single and feel like this. I can't imagine anyone will be interested in me now.

iamnotalemon · 20/06/2025 13:27

I’m 45 and single. You’ll be ok 😂

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