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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be really worried about being single at 35

110 replies

Groolish · 20/06/2025 11:24

Just that really, what if I have lost my looks?

I was so pretty in my 20’s and early thirties and I feel so rubbish that my ex had all my best years and now I might end up single forever. Am I just having a bad day?

OP posts:
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Groolish · 23/06/2025 11:43

Also, part of me thinks I still love my ex as I am still absolutely devastated that he is with somebody else a year later

OP posts:
Disturbia81 · 23/06/2025 10:57

iamnotalemon · 22/06/2025 16:35

Oh for goodness sakes!

I know, what a ridiculous comment

Groolish · 23/06/2025 10:38

PrincessHoneysuckle · 22/06/2025 16:09

You haven't lost your looks it'll be because you feel vulnerable and suddenly becoming single.Im sure you look great.

Will it pass? I was fine a few months ago, I just feel a bit lost and depressed

OP posts:
iamnotalemon · 22/06/2025 16:35

Kiwi83 · 21/06/2025 20:00

You've got a good 10 years before you really start to lose your looks 💐

Oh for goodness sakes!

Disturbia81 · 22/06/2025 16:11

This thread is so alien to me. Who has made you feel like this OP!? Did your ex fill your head with these negative thoughts?
I feel better than I ever have at 44.
Men do not age in a better way than us. Anyone who looks after themselves can look good.

PrincessHoneysuckle · 22/06/2025 16:09

Groolish · 22/06/2025 16:04

This is what is making me think I might be depressed.

You haven't lost your looks it'll be because you feel vulnerable and suddenly becoming single.Im sure you look great.

Groolish · 22/06/2025 16:04

PrincessHoneysuckle · 22/06/2025 15:58

Old?! I looked the best I ever had at that age.45 now and long for 35 year old me

This is what is making me think I might be depressed.

OP posts:
PrincessHoneysuckle · 22/06/2025 15:58

Old?! I looked the best I ever had at that age.45 now and long for 35 year old me

Thewalrusandthecarpenter · 22/06/2025 15:57

MascaraGirl · 21/06/2025 18:34

Hoping it goes well!

It was fabulous, thank you and someone about the OP’s age stopped me in the street to say she liked my dress (which was nothing showy). I look my age, which is fine with me.

SugarPlumpFairyCakes · 21/06/2025 23:25

Be single.

Love it.

Enjoy your freedom.

Relish everything that you can do. Without a second thought.

Run wild.

JaneEyre40 · 21/06/2025 20:01

Groolish · 20/06/2025 11:35

I suppose I just feel unattractive because I am old

Lol...you're not old! Get a haircut and blow dry and put on some tan. You'll feel great. If you are into it get some Botox, works wonders.

Kiwi83 · 21/06/2025 20:00

You've got a good 10 years before you really start to lose your looks 💐

WhereHasMyPlanetGone · 21/06/2025 19:58

Groolish · 21/06/2025 19:55

I suppose you just read that women become invisible after a certain age, apparently so that happens at 25 so I’m 10 years past that already

Yeah, you’ve got no chance then. Best prepare for a life of spinsterhood.

Groolish · 21/06/2025 19:55

I suppose you just read that women become invisible after a certain age, apparently so that happens at 25 so I’m 10 years past that already

OP posts:
BiscuitBotherer · 21/06/2025 19:33

I can’t take the OP’s comments in good faith, I’m afraid. “I’m too old, I think I should have Botox and fillers”. Women telling you they’re excited to be single, that they haven’t lost their looks, have been met with disbelief by you.

MascaraGirl · 21/06/2025 18:34

Thewalrusandthecarpenter · 21/06/2025 16:28

I’m nearly 56 and have a date tonight. If I said I felt old, my nearly 95 year old (independent, fit, active) mother would put me in my place. I feel more attractive and confident than I did 20 years ago.

Hoping it goes well!

fashionqueen0123 · 21/06/2025 17:44

Groolish · 20/06/2025 17:52

Do Botox and fillers actually work?

They work in that they make young women look much older.

Bythewayimgoingouttonight · 21/06/2025 17:42

Groolish · 21/06/2025 17:38

Are you?

Yes. I have been in the loneliest marriage for far too long. I’m looking forward to being free.

Groolish · 21/06/2025 17:38

Bythewayimgoingouttonight · 21/06/2025 15:59

I’m 44 and about to be in this situation. I’m excited though!

Are you?

OP posts:
Thewalrusandthecarpenter · 21/06/2025 16:28

I’m nearly 56 and have a date tonight. If I said I felt old, my nearly 95 year old (independent, fit, active) mother would put me in my place. I feel more attractive and confident than I did 20 years ago.

hardtocare · 21/06/2025 16:04

It’s just a bad day. You’re 35, not 85. I haven’t RTFT so sorry if you’ve said but take some time to be single- a year or two at least. Use the time to recover, realise what you need to do differently in relationships and what are your non negotiable for your next relationship. Then don’t compromise on your higher standards for yourself. You have lots of life left to be happy ❤️

Bythewayimgoingouttonight · 21/06/2025 15:59

I’m 44 and about to be in this situation. I’m excited though!

Praying4Peace · 21/06/2025 15:45

Embrace being single
Why are you desperate to meet someone?

Gyozas · 21/06/2025 15:04

Groolish · 20/06/2025 11:35

I suppose I just feel unattractive because I am old

Nah, you’re not. Get it together, woman. 💪🏻

OneLoudTiger · 21/06/2025 14:20

Eyebrow wax/tint and eyelash lift/tint also does me a world of good when I’ve got the uglies.