Pension - I have none and I’m a little unsettled by DHs response!

I will never understand it either. While there are definitely exceptions, I will never understand women in their economic prime with school aged kids and no other caring responsibilities who don’t work and are wholly dependent on their husbands for financial security.

Many years ago a financial advisor told me never to touch my NHS pension as it was one of the best there was. I left the NHS but left my pension pot there, I was allocated 12 years and 112 days contributions on retirement and my monthly pension is certainly worth having, your husband was wrong sadly

My NHS pension automatically goes to my husband if I die, plus he gets an amount of 2x my salary payout. Do you both have life insurance?

This is why I don't understand and will never understand my expat friends here in Hong Kong who survive solely off their husband's money for everything be it food, flights, holidays, accommodation or clothes. Many have never worked or left the workplace too long ago to have any hope in hell of even stepping foot in it again. They receive stipends from their husbands to finance everything be it shopping or meals and everything in between.
They don't realise or accept that it takes one disabling injury, change in affections, a serious illness, a demotion, a termination, a change in economy,a severance, a death and everything in between and they'd be homeless with no money to even go back to their home countries or totally shackled financially on any adult children to survive.

If he can love you, he can hate you.
If he can feed you, he can starve you.
If he can care for you, he can abandon you.

Tradwives love to promote the image of historically women relying on men exclusively. What they don't want you to think about is what happens when the man dies or decides that he doesn't love you anymore or becomes disabled, commences divorce proceedings, changes the will since he is given full financial control, dies or corporate decides that he's not wanted anymore.

You must always have run money along with fun money and a full CV.

It may have been a small pot if under 2 years of contributions but the worrying thing is she may have continued to work for NHS after opting out of pension for many more years. That could be a substantial amount of pension and tax relief to lose.

Those saying leaving the NHS scheme is so terrible aren't realising OP must only have worked there for a short tome and paid into it for less than 2 yrs. So it’s not the horrendous mistake people think it is. If she left the scheme but continued to be employed by nhs for a long time then yes it’s definitely a mistake.

I wasn't named on my DH's pension, so far as I'm aware, but got it (50%, I think) upon his death - as his spouse.

My DH has been unable to work since early 30s but we have never been financially stable enough to pay into a pension for him. With a young family to support on one salary plus PIP & child benefit it just wasn’t possible. I have an NHS pension & realistically I am likely to outlive DH but if not he will have to make do with spouses share of my pension & state pension. Not everyone is lucky enough to afford extra pension contributions on one salary. Maybe ops family couldn’t either

Yes, exactly why I could personally never ever rely solely on another. Personally I’d always be worried that if I didn’t toe the line as it were DH could secretly just change it to someone else! Also I do feel some men knowingly give bad financial advice to their DP so as to exert more control and make them more reliant and so less able to leave if they wanted. Same goes for wills even really. It should only be in very extreme cases you don’t have your own financial security plan. The fact that OPs DH is seemingly so nonchalant about her concerns is also such a red flag. I understand that OP could potentially claim a plethora of benefits to where it amounts to only slightly less than full state pension but even the full state pension will result in quite a restricted lifestyle , even if there is no rent or mortgage. I don’t care what anyone else says but especially if single, council tax and mobile, internet and utility bills will eat up almost half of that already. To me it would be just existing. I’m single and 52 right now and having a stab at one last promotion as I want to retire at 62 and if all goes well my projected pension would be approx 2k pcm with a tax free lump sum of 40k. I’ve worked FT for 30 years so far and must admit it was only when I hit 50 I started looking at my projections and just so glad I did as I don’t particularly want more work and stress in my last decade but I also want to go on hols, eat well, afford taxis/going out etc and just continue to be able to live alone and not need a man or support from anyone else!

Well if you can only get the contributions back if you paid in less than 2 years that probably doesn't make much of a difference overall as would've been a tiny pension pot

Also, can we remember that auto enrolment wasn't a thing until 2012, and a lot of companies didn't comply until 2018?! I am nearly 50 and have very little in a private pension because I worked full-time until 2011 (I did contribute a bit over that part of my career, but not a huge amount) and then went freelance. I put money into my pension when I can but it's not easy.

Fortunately I am entitled to the full state pension and also don't have a mortgage, so will eventually downsize and that will help. But not everyone has been organised with this and slowly building pots of 500k or whatever. I don't think any of my friends are in that position - apart from those who are civil service/NHS or very high earners...so please don't shame the OP for being in this position.

I’m pretty sure in nhs pension scheme you can get your contributions back if you leave within 2 years of joining. Sounds like Op didn’t work for NHS for very long so not talking a huge loss of pension by leaving.

If you remain married and financially dependent, the trustees would lijely pay you regardless of his nominations, they get the final say, although no doubt it would be a headache.

However, you will not be paid the same as he would have (assuming DB). I only get half the pension DH would have got, had he lived.

I'd always ask myself, "what would I do if DH wasn't here?"

Basically, if your DH hadn't been around, you'd have had to sort yourself out. "Doing a little bit of art" isn't going to put food on the table in a worst case scenario. You need to find yourself a little job and/or actively pursue treatment for this anxiety, and take a little bit of responsibility for yourself.

People are being too harsh. I'm autistic and until my mid thirties I did not have a clue about the financial running of my home - my exH did it all. He was terrible with money and I ended up taking over the banking when I was about 34. I also started learning about how to run a house - not difficult of course but I'd never done it.

I remember him saying that he knew I'd leave once this happened, so I think there may be an element of control here OP. Make sure you get your share of the equity. And don't leave him if you can't afford to buy a property for yourself....otherwise all your money will be spent on rent and you'll end up with nothing. In previous years you could have used the money for 'buy to let' and received an income from that but that's not an option anymore. Is the mortgage on the house paid off?

Regarding employment, I have (on and off) relied on self-employed cleaning. It's hard physically but you mostly don't have to deal with people and if you don't like a client you just leave and find another. It's not highly paid but it's well above NMW so you wouldn't need to do as many hours so you'd still have time to do your art work.

You should use these funds to start a private pension for you.

yep, Ni credits regardless of income. I get them despite DH earnings being way over threshold (there's also a box to tick on the form to get them to not even pay the CB rather than faff about with repayments)

Thats a very generous scheme, and it is both unusual and unlikely to be open to new employees, in general, pensions are not as good as they used to be. I used to sell them!

It's been a bit more than that since April. It's now £921 every 4 weeks, which is just under £12k per annum.

Not really. Ex doesn't work, refuses to move out, talk about it, insists the house is his as he was working while I raised our 4dc despite it being in joint names. Thinks I should move in with my parents! I work a zero hours mw job in a warehouse which would be very difficult to get to from my parents as I don't drive (amd). I think my pensions equal about £3k max but at least I have enough contributions for a full state pension when I retire.

Wow ok. You don’t say how old you are. Get a financial advisor who is a pension expert and set up a meeting. Your DH needs to be present.

Get things in order! X

I believe you can still get the NI credit even if you are outwith the upper limit to get paid child benefit but have to apply for it? Worth looking into anyway.

https://www.gov.uk/check-national-insurance-record

You can see your National Insurance record here and a forecast for your state pension. You need 35 years of full NI contributions to get the full state pension:

Easy check for your husband to do but generally even if he has no named beneficiary you, as his wife, are entitled to usually half his pension upon death. This needs to be checked though. With regard to state pension this can be checked on govt gateway - search this up. If you have children then your contribution will be paid until the youngest is 12 as long as you claim child benefit in your name. After that there is a threshold you need to meet to get contributions even if you do not earn enough to be taxed. You can also make contributions yourself to protect your state pension.

Forget death what about the other Ds (Divorce and Dementia) what are the plans in these scenarios?