Pension - I have none and I’m a little unsettled by DHs response!

If he doesn’t name his wife, and his wife is totally reliant on him financially, she will get the money no matter what he puts down there (of course she may have to go to court to do that, but she would win).

I also just checked my pension (which would be fairly standard for large companies) you put beneficiaries under “expression of wish”, and it specifically notes the trustees are not bound to follow it.

Do you have children? If you do and you claimed child benefit youll have stamps while any kids were under 12?

How many years did you work full time? State pension isnt automatic and there's a difference between full and basic. Might be worth checking on the hmrc app

Correct, but OP is married.

I would never rely on someone else. Life changes. Used to work with someone who didn't pay into work pension scheme as husband was in the police...so she didnt need to?! Life at 35 can be v different to life at 65 :(

As a partner you do need to be named and it also isn't going to be going to OP, who is a wife, necessarily. We don't know the circumstances, he could have named somebody else as his beneficiary. His children or some other relative for example. Being named on it now doesn't make OPs situation any less precarious though, he can change it at any time and she won't know.

You (normally) don’t have to be a named beneficiary of your partners pension to inherit it when he dies. If you weren’t, you could contact the trustees and make a claim as his widow.

Having said that, his advice to take your money out the NHS pension (a gold-plated public sector pension) is just about the worst financial advice I’ve ever seen anybody give and take. It’s almost grounds for divorce it’s so bad. He’s clearly has absolutely no idea what he’s talking about, and you shouldn’t pay any attention to anything so called financial he ever says.

You need 35 years of national insurance contributions. You can buy extra years, do this before it's too late.

Sorry to hear that. He sounds like a knob.

One of my neighbours was an NHS nurse for over 30 years and, for some reason, didn't contribute to their pension scheme. A friend of mine works for the local Council and pulled out of the pension scheme when she decided to buy her Council house. The civil service pension is probably the best pension you can get, so I always think it's very unwise not to pay into it.

Gosh I’d be seriously worried if I was you.
How old are you as you need to start sorting this soon.
Dint rely on husbands pension if he passed away you wouldn’t get the full amount.

I also have ASD and the associated anxiety. I understand everyone is different, but unless you are quite close to retirement age already, I strongly urge you to address this.

You need to find the right combination of medications that will help you with your anxiety. Then you need to learn some techniques for accepting your anxiety and working through the waves. It will never go away, but you can learn to manage it.

The Biggest thing though that people seem to miss is that every job is different. There is employment out there somewhere that will not be as difficult for you. You just have to figure out the right match.

You're married. That makes you the automatic beneficiary. 'Named beneficiary' is for unmarried couples.

A NHS pension would have been very nice if you had continued working. But if you only did a few years, it's not that much.

Sounds like as if you're pretty OK so long as you stay married! Of course, you might wish to plan for other eventualities...

The post I was referencing was a general comment about women not working and was not related to the OP.

He probably just need to check…

but he is right, not too late to start.

The basic state pension is more than double £60 a week (I forget how much, DH had one, had hardly ever contributed to NI being a crofter and then a free-lance writer) and you could live on it - not that we did, but you could. But your DH should have named you on is pension as the beneficiary - I suspect that if he has not but named someone else, that could be challenged.

You shouldn't be depending on him for financial stability. What if you were to split up? Or as you say, he pass away? What kind of financial situation would that leave you in?

It's worrying he doesn't know if you're a named beneficiary on his pension. Sounds like he was dodging the question which leads me to think you're not named on it. Is there someone else who he could have named? An ex wife or children.

Anyway, aside from his pension, you have to take responsibility for yourself. Check HMRC to see how much state pension you're entitled to, if you haven't made much NI contributions you might not even be entitled to the full state pension. Check with your doctor if there's any medication to manage your anxiety to enable you to go back to work. Even if it's part time. Anything. There's a lot of Autism charities that could offer support and advice. You need to get your ducks in a row.

Autism is a very very wide spectrum. People with autism can hold down very well paid high pressure jobs. I don’t think it can be used as a reason to have taken no financial responsibility or an interest in the family finances over the years. There are so many radio programs, tv shows newspaper articles and social media streams available for people to watch/listen/read.

We’re talking about a family coping with autism here. It’s a disability and impacts families massively in many ways particularly financially. Often children have it too. Gyms,exercise classes and coffee shops are places ND people find particularly hard. Those of us with autism find the impact on our careers particularly upsetting.

Surely it's easy to understand?

They'd rather not work.

And if they're husband is well paid they don't need to. They can drop their kids off at private school at nine o'clock in the morning, then go to the gym for a pilatis class They'll be in an artisan coffee shop by eleven am to moan about how awful the gender pay gap is.

If you had continued paying into your NHS pension you would have had some sort of pension. You’re vulnerable to financial abuse here.