Pension - I have none and I’m a little unsettled by DHs response!

Even with your art business you should have been paying voluntary contributions if your earnings are below the threshold to pay NICs (e.g. if it's not a very profitable business). HMRC even prompt you to do this when you put through your tax returns every year. When I was too ill to do a "proper" job due to MH, I paid about £250 a year in voluntary contributions because I had a small business, and that covered my national insurance for the year. It's not much for peace of mind in your retirement. You can still do this from now on if you haven't. Also echo others, go and have a look at your state pension forecast. There might be missing years that won't be too expensive to "catch up" on by paying for them.

Definitely a wake-up call here. Advising you to come out of the NHS pension scheme was bad advice, and he seems very unconcerned about what will happen to you in the future, so you need to get a handle on your finances yourself and not assume he has it in hand. He doesn’t sound very fiscally aware, what with the bad advice re: your pension and not knowing how his own pension works.

If you've sacrificed career to bring up children then I would be asking for him to contribute to a pension in your name as a reflection of that. If you aren’t working for other reasons, then if he’s unwilling to do anything else, you will need to do some work around what your financial situation would be like if you got divorced, he died, went into care, etc. You are potentially quite vulnerable.

How did you get your pension contributions back - I thought you couldn't do that?

He also talked you out of contributing towards a pension?

Is there someone else who could be named as beneficiary? Ex wife, children from previous marriage.

How old are you OP?

As his wife you should receive a widows pension; the named beneficiary could be for his lump sum death benefit - if he has named someone else then he needs to change it. I’d expect him to change the beneficiary now. I do hope your home is owned jointly.
I would look to having an independent income and pension of your own; you’re right to be concerned about poverty in retirement. Even an excellent pension only pays half a salary and he may be less inclined to share this with you; you could divorce.

I wouldn never ever ever EVER rely on financial advice from a man that advises taking money out of an NHS pension.

Respectfully, you need to take responsibility for your retirement. Even if he names you, lord knows whether he has the provisions he thinks he has given his previous advice to you to stop paying pension contributions.

Once he has checked his pension you both need to sit down and have a financial MOT.

I don't work but we talk money and plans on a regular basis.

It's boring, it's also hard when you are talking about one of you dying, but it needs to be done so that the other left behind doesn't have to deal with grief and a whole legal entanglement.

Even if it's just something small like, say he died soon, do you have access to accounts to pay bills for 3-6 months whilst probate goes through?

You need to look at all this. Both of you, turn off emotions and sit down with a calculator.

Oh yes and look at your NI contributions, and his. It might be prudent to pay your £70 ish a month if you haven't got children under 12, to make sure you have the full years of contributions for state pension. Depends on how many years you put in for before you stopped working.

It's boring OP but it needs to be done. Just be businesslike, calm, sensible and work out the numbers so both of you are aware of how much you are getting and when in retirement.

Defined Benefit and Defined Contribution Pensions are treated differently so that is more critical to understand as they may well get the full pension. Defined Benefit pensions may have survivor/widows pensions that are not the original full amount.

Understood, but that's not a reason to make yourself totally dependent on another person for your financial wellbeing. That's likely to make your anxiety worse if something goes wrong. Particularly if he's rubbish with money.

There must be work you can do which you can manage.

Do you have children? If you get child benefit, even if you have to repay it through tax, you get NI contributions.

How old are you? Could you go back to work for a while? You may have to work in retirement otherwise I guess

How old are you? This is an important question if you want the best advice OP.

If he goes first and you don't have his pension and not paid enough NI contributions you will get pension credits. Also income support to make up your full pension. I believe it to be £825 every 4 weeks. Shocking really

That doesn't make using a man for financial stability useful or helpful it doesn't change pensions or facts around being sensible around money

Freedom up to do what with?

Don't leave the financial planning to your husband. He does not sound financially savvy.

How old are you both?

You sound too dependant on your DH. You are leaving yourself very vulnerable.

How old are you?

https://www.gov.uk/check-state-pension

You might want to check this, it might be worth seeing if you can buy back a few years

You won’t get a full state pension if you haven’t paid your NI contributions in full. Check on gov.uk

The state pension depends on NI status - have you been raising children/claiming child benefit?
I'd be very concerned and ask to go through everything together. Giving up an NHS pension is crazy imo!

Depends on age like pp have stated. Rely on no man for your future OP. He could die, you could split up etc. So many people seem to sleep walk into older age and then think shit how am i going to retire?

Grown adults should be responsible for themselves, how many women leave their financial plan to a man?

I think I would take this as a warning sign that your financial situation is not as rosy as you believed and take the opportunity to look at wills, life insurance and who precisely is the named beneficiary on his pension. He’s clearly not as financially savvy as you believed if he told you to opt out of an NHS pension.

And then use that information to work out how you will be set up not only when he dies, but when he retires. Get financial advice if you need it, and be prepared to go back to work to start improving your situation.

I find it quite concerning how many women drift through life assuming their husbands will "take care of everything" and don't bother to check.

The fact that he suggested you come out of the NHS pension scheme is slightly worrying. Why wouldn't he want you to have that security. And the state pension is tiny. His attitude suggests at best a high-handed approach to this and at worst that he's financially abusive.

You need to start making contributions. You should really go back to work as well. You can't rely on another person for your financial security.

Even if you are the named beneficiary, you don't get his full pension, it's usually half of that. I think the pair of you need to sit down NOW with an independent financial advisor and look seriously at your finances. Also get wills in place, if you haven't already.

Do you have children? You need to ensure you are getting an National insurance contribution. If you claim child benefit I think you get through that if it's in your name.

If DH is supporting you not to work you need to be paying into a pension. Now.

Does he have life insurance? Linked to you home maybe? How will you afford any bills in the future without a job or a pension?

Assuming you can work you need to get a job, pay NI and pay into a pension.