Pension - I have none and I’m a little unsettled by DHs response!

I don’t think it’s necessarily controlling. A lot of people are financially very unaware. Or money is tight and they see no option - I’ve seen MN threads where people have opted out of (particularly) public sector pensions because they need the cash now.
He might be controlling. But he might also be a bit “ahh it’ll be fine, I’ll think about pensions when I’m 50”. Which is not good, but not uncommon when you look at average pension pots. And I imagine a not insignificant number of perfectly decent people just assume that obviously their spouse is listed on it.

I voted YABU because you need to stop relying on a man who convinced you to leave a good pension scheme for financial advice.

Please go to citizens advice or pension wise and get independent advice.

This. What a staggeringly stupid idea to exit one of the best pension schemes available. What a pair of financial illiterates you are.

You dont state what type of pension DH has but if its a defined benefit pension then any spouses pension is likely to be 50% of DH's pension. As you're 10 years younger than him there may also be a young spouse reduction so the 50% could be reduced even more. Although spouses reductions are becoming less common now.

He needs to be nominating you to get his private pension but often it's not the full amount.
Do you have enough NI contributions for full state pension?

With the “names on the pension” thing

the pensions are set up as discretionary trusts so the naming is just an indication of who the trustees c should pay money to but if someone say puts their mum down when they joined the pension at 21 but in fact died a married man with 3 kids, the trustees would pay the wife. If he was divorced with kids it would go towards the kids.

its best to get it up to date but it’s only an expression of wishes and not binding. (So trustees should do what is fairest/best)

It is means tested. You get less if you have savings. Also Pension Credit is a meagre amount. Nothing like as generous as benefits for families. Even taking everything into consideration. And even if you are a beneficiary of your DH's pension scheme you wouldn't get his full pension.

If he doesn't provide for you then I suppose it'll be the jolly old taxpayer so you won't starve (may not be the life you're used to, though, which might motivate you to tie him down now!)

This, if you have paid no NI contributions you won't get the full amount (which is only £12K something per annum anyway). You need to stop asking your husband what he thinks and take ownership of your personal financial situation and get it improved.

Well…. OP had the opportunity to stay in an NHS pension. She could have worked somehow. Her husband does have a good job and pension, and could leave it to her. But you think the State Pension / Income Support is not enough? I mean, it’s you and I that pay through our taxes. I’m happy to help, but… 🤔

You won’t get the full state pension if you haven’t paid in. Is it pension credit you’d have to claim?

Yeah, you need to sort this out. It’s really silly to have no money in your old age because you gave up work after your husband said you should… and then you didn’t plan for this.

Very common for this kind of thing to be said in jest.

I agree that the money released from the house sale needs to primarily go to addressing the inequality in the relative pension availability.

OP you need to be very assertive about this and be clear to your DH that his 'advice' that you opt out of the NHS pension was a very stupid thing to do so as far as possible, amends need to be made.

You also need to do what you can to catch up with your state pension and it is likely that using some of the money either available now, or from the house sale will be a good investment. It is a shame that you've just missed the deadline for buying back extended added years but hopefully your gap won't be too big, as you will have been working at some point, and will have received credits if you have DC or have received benefits due to your illness - as an aside, have you claimed benefits for this if your autism and anxiety has meant you are unable to work?

MSE have advice on this, as it's circumstances dependent. Eg if you are younger, you might have time to catch up due to future contributions, or you can voluntarily pay a small amount of NI due to your self employment as an artist, so that might be the way to go.

https://www.moneysavingexpert.com/savings/state-pensions/

As for the rest of the money, you might need advice on how to get it into a pension or other savings/investment products for you, especially if the amount is very large, say over £100k. Below that you can probably just move it into S&S ISAs over a few years if necessary as well as having some money in cash.

I was chatting to our builder about retirement plans the other day. He is 10years older than his wife and said that "She is his retirement plan".since he has "kept her for years", she will just have to step up and keep him now. 😳.

Be careful OP.

This thread is a good example of why people just don't understand disability/long term health conditions...

Like you OP I have long term health issues and it has affected my work and pension.

I was able to work with little issues for about 10 years then my health nose-dived, I has several surgeries and since then I can only manage to work part-time.

The small private pension I have is from the time I could physically work full time and is a tiny 10K.

I can't afford to pay in a pension each month as I need every penny to survive and pay the mortgage and any house repair as a single person on a part-time income.

That's my reality. No amount of pie in the sky planning is going to change it.

Everyone's situation is different.

Make sure you have a serious conversation with your partner to make sure you are the named person on his pension definitely but the people who expect to suddenly turn into a full time worker who is able to save hundred of pounds simply have no grasp of the type of world you and I live in.

When you downsize then you need the equivalent pension pot as him but in your sole name and you can make him beneficiary.

Its a hill worth dying on!

With the freed up funds, will it be split 50/50?
I'd be taking my half and saving it.

I think it's odd he originally told you to stop paying into your pension and also that you went along with it.
Like if money was tight, lower payments for a while but not stop it completely.

I think you need to make sure you are set up for the future & not be relying on your husband's generosity (or potential lack of generosity...)

Also if you’ve not paid NICs from working for 35 years or claiming child benefit for some of the time you won’t be entitled to a full state pension. Check your info on Government Gateway.

Do you own your house?

In the (long distant) past women used to be able to receive the state pension based on their husband’s contributions and some paid a reduced NI ‘stamp’. Those days are long gone and the state pension is only paid based on your personal contributions and credits, for example if you were claiming child benefit and not working.

As @Dashel has highlighted above, the first step is to get a state pension forecast to see where you are so you can build on that.

Unless you are already in your mid 60s, your state pension age will be 67 plus, so you probably have some years left to address the shortfall. You need a minimum of 10 years contributions to receive anything at all under the new state pension.

YANBU to be worried and to want DH to check you’re his named beneficiary - also find out what sort of pension it is: defined contribution or defined benefit. If DC do you get it all and if DB what are the spousal benefits?

YABU however to have got this far without looking in to it. Leaving an NHS pension was a crazy thing to do and your DH sounds a bit controlling on that front. How old are you? Never too late to start a pension. See if Nest or the People’s Pension would let you join their schemes.

This is specifically for the NHS pension (which is a really good one, so it's a very bad idea to do this). Most pensions don't let you withdraw money until you retire.

OP, your husband has given you terrible advice. Either he's financially abusive, or he's really bad with money (in which case his own provision may also be poor).

As others have said:

1. Check your state pension record and make up any gaps if you can.

1. Find out what type of pension he has - defined benefit or defined contribution. With the former you'd get between 1/2 and 2/3 (provided you're the named beneficiary). With the latter you'd get the whole remaining pot - but if he's bad with money that may be very little.

1. Make your own provision. Don't rely on 2, whatever the answer was, because you might not get it if he changes the nomination or you divorce.

They can but only the payments equal to OPs current earnings will get tax relief.

@EllyRoff Firstly, do not be surprised that he does not know who is his named benficiary, it is not unusual for people to think that they do not need to do this. At work, we recently had someone who died unexpectedly, they had named nobody as a beneficiary which took a while for us to unpick to determine their next of kin. We then had a company wide email reminding people to name a beneficiary asap.

I also remember that when I left a Blue Chip company after 10 years, my beneficiary was an ex, who had married someone else and I had completely forgotten that I had done this!

Next if you are married and he dies before he takes his State Pension, you are able to inherit a part of this pension, too. Finally sit down with a spreadsheet and have the talk about pensions and consider seeing a financial adviser together to talk about pensions, wills and investments.

Focus on what you can do NOW. I'd be concerned if you don't have wills too.

The funds released from downsizing could be paid into a private pension for you.