Pension - I have none and I’m a little unsettled by DHs response!

Your opinion says a lot for your mindset then, in my opinion.

Getting fair share of his pension, when she doesn't have her own or work, would be 0 IMO.

Really frustrates me when people use marriage to freeload off someone else, has kids to get a council house etc.

The Jeremy Kyleification of the UK

If you're over 50, you can go to a Pensionwise appointment.

It's more appropriate than CAB and probably where you'd get directed anyway as it's the Government-funded advice service for pensions.

Dear @EllyRoff
You can do some active things now to improve your situation.

Your husband needs to name you asap as a matter of urgency as a beneficiary on his pension. You don’t say what type it is, but mine is private and I have filled out forms to name my DD as beneficiary if I die.
If he’s busy or prevaricating - then ask him who his contact is and phone them or email the person and set up a meeting/ video call/ phone call for your husband when he’s home and ensure it’s done. This is not a joke and is of prime importance for you. 8f he prevaricates - push and push and ensure you see the forms filled in.
Once that is done - then you can rest a little easier. If you’re married and you split you will then get half - if he dies you will get a payment from it.
If it is not a private pension or a pension through a private company I am not so sure, Oerhaps there will be other advice on here for these types of pensions either way you need to aim to ensure you are a named beneficiary.

In terms of savings - yes you can contribute to an ISA a tax free savings account. Perhaps use all your funds/ allowance you currently receive and pay into that? As much as you can and use his money for all joint spending in the house.

If your husband is freelance or self employed he could pay you a salary to help him with his admin and you would get some NI contributions that and then you could also pay into a pension from this.
again call your bank - ask for some pension advice - don’t delay- don’t regret or berate yourself just take action today.

Good luck x

Does he have children from a previous marriage? Most people would name their partner as beneficiary I’m sure but if he has children he may have done that.

Also, sometimes changes get ignored. DH had his mum as beneficiary until we got together and he kept changing it to me - by email, on the portal, in writing etc - and we would get a letter acknowledging the change but then when his annual statement arrived it would still say his mum! Took literally years to get sorted with various complaints etc.

My dad got remarried in his 50s and realised his wife hadn’t paid full NI contributions and wouldn’t get a full state pension. He was worried about her being vulnerable and was able to pay the full missing amount in a lump sum. Now he knows that whatever else happens she’ll get the pension. Definitely look into this when you downsize and have some funds.

Getting your fair share in a divorce is not really sponging in my opinion. OP has worked and contributed but her autism seems to now get in the way of her doing that. Her H is reluctant to reassure her that she will be fine financially should he go first so either way she will probably need to rely on benefits of some sort as she isn't making enough from her art business to live on. The only difference is, if she divorces, she will have some autonomy and she will know what her pension will look like as it will be divided between her and her H.

You can’t rely on him as he’s already given you really bad advice to come out of the NHS pension.
you need to take responsibility for yourself , get a job and start pension contributions asap

I know someone whose husband died just before he started to claim his state pension. His wife has tried to find out if she could claim it but it looks like the pension has gone upon his death. Everyone needs to be financially savvy for themselves whether married or not. Circumstances change and we need to protect ourselves.

I think you should look to understand carefully what the arrangements will be in retirement. It is not unusual for a beneficiary to be out of date on a pension and if it is an ex-wife, then there can be real problems, particularly where the second partner is not married. You also need to understand the type of pension. If it is final salary that is great, but make sure you understand the widow’s option- this is usually a % of the whole. If DH’s pension is on a contribution basis, then you need to understand what the pool is and what DH plans to do with it. Also check your state entitlement. If you have been at home for a number of years then it may not be full. You can however top this up.

I think you need to speak with an IPA. Find out where your partner is with his pension and go alone. Your partner does not sound financially savvy in the slightest. I think you've given up work and started to head towards pension age blinkered in all honesty.

I'm late 30s and was quite late to start my pension (started when we had to opt in or out). I've had some time out to have kids and with everything else going on Covid/cancer diagnosis thinking about adding to my pension wasn't the focus. As a result when I looked at it recently it's not great. My DH has always told me not to worry because his is doing really well at the moment. However absolutely you do need to finance yourself. Yes his would be great to live off but you know divorce/death can easily happen. So I've upped my contributions (my employer only gives the basic), created mirror wills, both have death in service and I have life insurance. I'm hopefully having my work hours increased soon so I'll be able to increase my payments even further.

Gosh - this thread has just reminded me that I have an old pension from my first employer, and I never told them I got married. I need to sort that out ! Poor DH. I'll go and fess up, and hope he forgives me 😉

It would help hugely to know your age OP. Advice would be different if you are 40/60 etc

Have you got children whom you stayed at home to look after? If you were/are in receipt (it has to be in your name), Child Benefit can protect NI with respect to the state pension. How old are you, OP? I speak from experience when I say don’t rely on your dh’s pension. Mine had an affair and we divorced. I got nothing from his pension (though did get the house). I would get a job if I were you and start overpaying into your own pension.

You’ve been really really silly OP. Why would you put yourself in this kind of situation?

I have no sympathy for anyone who gets themselves into positions such as these. Total lack of responsibility for your own financial security, relying on a spouse or the state to sort you out. Don’t even contribute any tax or NI into the system. You need to get a job and sort out your financial security for the future. Can’t get any type of paid work due to anxiety yet there are so many work from home admin roles that pay 25K a year and have pensions. Time to pull up your big girl pants and take some responsibility. But you won’t as your post shows that you clearly think it’s someone else’s problem.

So I am obsessed with my pension. I check them all reguarly as i have several from different jobs and do all the calculators to check my savings are on track.
You need to calculate what you think you will need to live on in retirement and then see if your savings and husbands pension match that.
If not then you need to start saving.
I would suggest you get a handle on both your finances asap so you can work this out.

You mean the state pension of just over £12K at most?
It's hardly living in luxury on that.

Council tax can take off £3K a year, and utilities another £2Kpa.

Are you sure you know the figures?

Why can't your sister do some sort of work?

Lower payments isn't an option with the NHS pension - you're in or you're out.

Have you checked what your pension forecast will be on gov.uk?

Exactly this

I can't believe what I am reading in all honesty. Even if you give up work you still need to think about financial security.

My Sister has claimed benifits for her autism all her life. She has looked into her pension as She is in her late forty's.
She is in line for a full state pension. All her ni contributions have been being payed.
The pension quoted can be lived on.

How old are you both?

You need to sort out your wills and he needs to name you as a beneficiary for his company pension. Most company pensions pay 50% to the surviving spouse.

So he needs an up to date forecast of his pension and a prediction of his final pension. When does he intend to retire?

You as a couple appear to need a good financial advisor.

You can start putting money into your own pension now and it can be added to till you're 75. You can do this yourself or through a FA. Many people use the big companies like Royal London for pensions.
You can put in a maximum each year if you're not working (it's around £2800) and you'll get growth on the investment.

You need to contact the state pension people and get a prediction of your pension. You may have the option to add to it with extra contributions.

Both of you need to sit down and plan for your future, your needs, savings for a care in older age, etc.

Do you have children?

So your suggestion is that the right approach here is to become a sponge, on both her husband and on the state.

Pathetic

Pension credit currently will top up weekly income to a minimum of £227.10pw for a sole claimant, but the full new state pension is currently £230.25pw which equates to £921 paid every 4 weeks (i.e. £11,973pa).

It's a really stupid thing to do so probably good that you didn't.

I actually think it would. She would get at least have of all assets, including his pension, and if she can't work there are benefits to help her. She is also much more likely to get a HA property eventually than he will be. It's a very precarious situation she is in right now. He can at any time decide to take her name off as a beneficiary on his pension and she would then be in a much worse position. He has already shown that he doesn't care about her financial security.