Last minute cancellation due to weather

There’s a lot of assumptions you’re making. You’ve assumed the venue because you think she can only do family oriented activities because you’re assuming she wouldn’t be able to come without them.

I think you need to learn to communicate better. She may actually prefer a lunch in a pub without the kids. As said upthread, I always make a point of confirming when the tickets are being purchased.

I think it's unusual not to mutually confirm when you are buying a ticket. Even if non-refundable in T&Cs, you might get lucky in moving the date to another weekend, so set a new date and move your ticket to then. You really must tell her you have a ticket though!!

Sorry this is a ridiculous response.

I’d try to sell the ticket on myself
if the venue is close by then you’ll be able to sell it in the car park! V annoying though.

Your friend should have suggested you check with each other one more time before booking tickets, as she was the one whose children might suffer in the heat, so it was up to her to be on the ball about it. Something like ‘I think we probably are going, but let’s wait until a bit closer to the time before booking in case it’s going to be any hotter’ Thank goodness you weren’t buying the tickets for everyone, which is what I tend to do before an event. One person buys and the other gives them the money. It was a good idea to pick somewhere that the children would be busy and not bored. Such a shame it backfired. I would definitely have told her I had bought the ticket though. There’s no way I would leave it like that.

Could you message her and say
“do you happen to know of anyone who is planning to go to X place today? I only suggested it as you have kids and I didnt want them to be bored but now we are not meeting up, I am stuck with this £40 ticket! Its non-refundable - do you know anyone who might want to buy it off me?”

She wont know of anyone, of course, but it would give her the idea that she has dropped you right in it with her flakiness.

And before everyone jumps on me for being super passive aggressive, well, yes. But just very occasionally I feel that it is called for!!

Zoos and theme parks are pretty fun as an adult! Even Peppa Pig world has adult rides.

You're both unreasonable for agreeing to an outdoor activity with (presumably young) children in this forecast heat. I imagine, once she sampled said heat yesterday, she realised it was not actually doable/safe/sensible. Common sense on your part, given the forecast, was that it would likely end up being cancelled and to not pay anything in advance.

I’d go anyway, if it’s a zoo or something similar it’s much more pleasant to visit without children.

She’s not unreasonable to not want to go due to the heat, but absolutely should have said that when you checked, before you got the ticket.

how did she respond when you told her you just wasted £40 after double checking with her?

I would write it off as experience and not make plans with her again if there is a cost involved. really rude of her.

Flakey people are flakey and it won’t change. If this happens a lot then you either decide you don’t want her in your life or make your arrangements in such a way that it doesn’t affect you if she comes or not. It stakes the anger out of the situation ifyswim.

Hindsight is a wonderful thing! Yes, on reflection you should have checked with your friend at the time of purchasing the ticket, and told her you were buying the ticket. Again, when she cancelled you should have told her you'd just bought your ticket because she told you less than 48 hours previously, she was still coming. Your friend didn't know you'd bought your ticket, and may have assumed you were purchasing it on the day. Your only option is to try and sell it via social media, if the venue doesn't offer refunds or to change the date (which is normal practice). Otherwise, unfortunately, yes, you've lost the money.

Hi op, you sound very thoughtful trying to plan things around your friend’s kids so you can see her. Just a word of warning though that 4 days is generally too far in advance to confirm with kids. They can get very sick at short notice and also in this situation she probably didn’t realise how bad the heat would be/how her kids would struggle to cope with it, and has now seen that they didn’t cope well yesterday, so is cancelling asap as soon as she realised. Definitely ask her to book for you in future and then reimburse her - you can be included on her family ticket if the place does one.

I also agree that very kid-specific places aren’t ideal as then she’ll have to spend all her time running after them. In good weather your best bet is a picnic in a park.

I hope you can salvage the friendship but you might have to give friend a bit of grace until the kids are a bit older.

edit:typos

It does seem that she is flakey, and perhaps dropping the rope is a good idea.

Having said that, how long ago did you organise it? It's very easy to forget something like "I will book in advance" if buy on the day is an option. It also does not mean that she knew that you had a ticket already!

I do a lot of hiking / outdoor type things, and a lot of the time four days is too far in advance to make a decision on weather. In thise last few days, extreme predictions can look a lot les extreme. 48 hours gives you a much clearer picture.

many posters are saying you should have checked once more.

this is a discussion i have with my husband all the time, he wants to double and triple check plans, and i don’t.

the way see it is that you agree to do something, you should just reach out if the plan is going to be changed/cancelled.

as the OP says. the weather forecast has remained the same all week, everyone knows about this heatwave.

Same.

And for those saying, "Go anyway," it might be Peppa Pig World!

This is on you. You should’ve messaged to say - there’s a deal if we buy in advance. I’m buying my ticket at 8pm tonight, just sharing the link and triple checking we’re still on for tomorrow.

Could you try and sell the ticket? I would have said to her are we still def on for sat because i'm going to go on and book ticket as its cheaper, beforehand. But she could have given you more notice or said because of the forecast I don't think its a great idea.

I would contact the company, explain situation, and ask if they will give you a credit if they can't refund you.

If I found out my friend had already purchased the ticket then I would have gone regardless.

One of my good friends is super flaky and I never buy anything in advance. She does usually still come but is often late.

One of my good friends is super flaky and I never buy anything in advance. She does usually still come but is often late.

Yes it's frustrating but you should have made it clear when checking that it was because you wanted to buy your ticket in advance. Surely you could have asked 'are you still up for this as it is looking quite hot. I am about to book my ticket now as the discounted prices won't be available if we book tomorrow. Are you going to book yours too?' or even simpler could she not have booked for you when booking for her and the children and you transferred the money so there was no risk of someone booking?
I think YABU for just accepting her cancelling without mentioning that you bought your ticket as she said she was up for it.