Last minute cancellation due to weather

@YoungTown YANBU OP and I totally understand why you're a bit pissed off - I would be too. It's bad enough that when you double-checked with her that it was still on, she was so positive and then subsequently cancelled, but to not even suggest an alternative so you could still meet up, given you'd set the day aside for her, isn't very nice. The only thing I think you could have done differently is, when you checked with her they were still up for it (despite the heat) you could have said "Great, I'll go ahead and buy my ticket then" which would have brought it home to her you were about to commit money (as well as time) to the outing.
And I agree that people suggesting a single, childless person go to somewhere like Peppa Pig World on their own is fatuous. 🙄
I also agree it's worth taking a step back from this friendship - seeing how quickly and enthusiastically your friend next contacts you will tell you whether it's run its course or not.
I hope you can find something nice to do with your unplanned free time OP. 😊

I have kids but I think you’re right to be pissed off, it’s annoying when people flake. I would say however that it doesn’t sound like she knew you’d bought a ticket and I would have definitely mentioned that at the time of her trying to call off.

I think it is really hard when a friend has kids and you don't. The kids do sort of take over but I am sure she still really wants to see you, just doesn't quite know how. Could you suggest that her partner take the kids one night and you both just go out for a girly dinner? Or take some take away round to eat once kids have gone to bed?
That's how I mainly still keep my friends without kids close and I make sure that we meet for dinner near them sometimes as well and make an effort not to talk about kid stuff. So it's definitely on her as well to make some effort, but maybe try that suggestion? 25 years is a long friendship!

She's just wasted £40 after bending over backwards to find a day out that her friend could do with the kids and wanted to do, and checking again whether she wanted to go ahead bearing in mind the weather.
The friend had plenty of opportunity to cancel earlier and/or suggest meeting and doing something else.
I'd be angry too, and there's nothing odd about that.

I think you need to be a bit less condescending. The OP knows her friend and the friend's situation.

Living in a hot climate is not the same as living here where we get short bursts of hot weather and then back to normal. You can’t acclimatise in the way that you can in a hot country.

I hate seeing animals in captivity. And I don't go on rides as I don't want to see my lunch again. Not everyone has the same idea of fun.

I was gonna say is it Paultons Park as you get the advance discount there. Also there is no way of getting a refund unless you have paid the cancellation insurance so not sure why people suggesting that.

She did do a final check!

That’s really bad on her. You checked and she said it was ok then changed her mind. I’d be wary of doing costly activities with her ever again and meet without her children

I'd be really annoyed also! That is a lot of money down the drain. Don't think I'd ever pay £40 to see a friend either especially to somewhere I don't want to go.

I guess she didn't realise how much her kids couldn't cope with hot weather until the hot weather actually arrived. In ticket buying situations, I always do a last minute check and make it clear I would wait to hear back from the person before I bought it, even if it had been confirmed a few days before. Doesn't help you now, but a consideration for the future!

As a PP mentioned online sales usually have a 14 day cooling off period, so if you point this out to the venue, they should refund your ticket.

I don’t understand why you didn’t tell your friend you had already bought your ticket??? Kids suffer less than adults in all different weathers in my experience

Just to add as well, with friends like this I’d message the day before saying something along lines of “still up for meeting tomorrow? I’m gonna book my ticket now” then hopefully they’ll let you know either way and save you money.

People are going to have to learn to cope better in the heat. I say this as someone who hated it until I moved overseas and had to adapt. She should have paid for your ticket.

She sounds hard work!
It’s very annoying, I would keep any future plans with this mate very casual and suited to your situation. Some people are just shit at keeping to arrangements, and now( but in the past I’ve been a mug) I just don’t bother with them.

The point of being upfront with her is that it might stop her doing the same thing again, and also lets her know that being flakey affects other people, maybe she will reflect on her behaviour. So

'Oh that's rather annoying, I aked if you were Ok with going because of the weather and you said you were, so I bought my ticket. Now I'm £40 down as its a kids event and I can't really go on my own.'

If she takes umbrage, let her - you are the injured party not her, up to her to apologise for her inconsiderate flakiness. If you pussy foot around and say 'never mind' when you do mind, then people will carry on messing you about.

This. (And an excellent suggestion as to how you can let her know you did, in fact, buy a ticket, having not mentioned it previously.)

I hate the notion that someone should ask repeatedly again and again after confirming. I once confirmed a plan with a then friend SIX times, she cancelled and upon my questioning she goes “you should have asked a final time.” OP confirmed, the weather forecast was available.

OP, I’ve had luck calling places directly and explaining circumstances for date changes and/or refunds. Don’t sound angry, just see if you can get someone on the phone, lead with “there’s likely nothing you can do but I’m calling to see if you can…” and explain the situation. Worst they can say is no.

I wouldn't be happy either. Is there anything adults where you are going - I know some places are kid focused but have adult gardens for example? Or maybe someone else who would go with you?

@BoredZelda yes I do get that too - it’s the fact that the friend hasn’t suggested an indoor alternative if she is unaware the friend bought a ticket that makes me think it may well be she can’t be arsed

I think this is some and some.

I agree that you have assumed quite a bit. You suggested the venue because you thought that would be best for her kids. You could have said, you choose because you have the kids. She might have felt more ownership and responsibility then to follow through.

Then, instead of your 'weather looks hot, do you still want to go', approach, better to have said, I'm buying my ticket now as it's cheaper in advance. Shall I get yours or are you OK to do that?
Once you mention doubts and weather, it gave her a perfect out.

But the other some, is that she doesn't seem bothered about your plans or about rearranging to a cooler venue, so yes, it's disappointing and flakey of her not to at least check you aren't out of pocket.

You could ask if she already bought her ticket because you had and perhaps she could pass hers on to you so you can take someone else.

Can you try and sell the ticket on Twickets maybe for slightly less? Could be someone is looking to make up numbers in a group and wants a bargain. You might recoup something. Worth a try?

I guess you have sunk £40, but you won't be sinking anymore in food/drink/travel costs etc so a small gain perhaps?

To me it sounds like the friendship has run its course. I would just focus my time and energy on other friendships. You are at different places in life atm. It seems like you have made a lot of effort to keep the friendship going, but it is not reciprocated.

I was going to suggest this too. Worst case you are still out of pocket but at least she knows. Best case she might actually know someone or be able to put it on a school/daycare WhatsApp group as a discounted ticket to what people would buy on the day.