Last minute cancellation due to weather

You should have said “great, I’ll book my ticket now” when she first said she was still up for it. As you didn’t you should have replied with “oh really? That’s a shame, I already bought my ticket”. It was bad of her to cancel after already confirming, but if she didn’t realise you’d already bought your ticket it wouldn’t seem the biggest deal to be fair to her. Keep future arrangements with her far more casual.

People’s bodies cope differently. What feels comfortable or ‘not too hot’ to you may be completely different to somebody else. And a hat and a bottle of water aren’t much help if you are out somewhere with no shade or seating.

Possibly four days ago, the temperature was just a number - it can be hard to visualise/remember exactly how your body feels at a given temperature if it’s been a while since you experienced it. Today, after being in the hot temperatures for 4 days and seeing it will be getting hotter, she’s just thought, sorry but we can’t do this.

Sell the ticket on a resale site or ebay or your local whatsapp or faceborg group

Cancelling because of the weather is not only reasonable, but very sensible. She should offer to pay for her ticket, however.

If you've not seen her for 6 months and she cancelled at such short notice, I'd think this wasn't a friendship really anymore. More like acquaintances. Just move on and find people on your wave length. Some people just aren't cut out for friendship sadly.

Can’t believe people here trying to say it’s your error for booking. You arranged a date. You double checked it was still on (which really you shouldn’t have to do), she confirmed and then she bailed. Entirely her fault for being rude and flakey.

That's so annoying. I'd let her know you've got a ticket, and ask if she has friends with older kids that might be better with the heat that you can sell it to so you're not out of pocket.

You might be able to sell the ticket on FB? You probably won’t get the full amount for it but better than losing £40.

YANBU from your perspective, bless you you’d done everything you could to make it easier for her in terms of suitable venue and offering to cancel.

But from a parental perspective she probably thought you wouldn’t buy the tickets until as late as possible- most of these places still give you the discount as long as you book the day before. And with kids you nearly always book as late as possible if you can because something often comes up, whether it’s a kid being ill or the weather not being suitable for them. She probably thought 36 hours notice was enough - you should have told her you’d already booked the ticket

I can totally understand your frustration and it being the manner at which it was done that bothers you more than the actual cancellation.
Could you offer the ticket for a slightly reduced price on a local Facebook page so you at least get a little bit of your money back? X

Sorry, but it’s not that hot. A hat, some spf and water and the kids would have been fine. This is really poor from her.

Happier to do these things on their than others.

That's really annoying.

Perhaps her kids are not coping very well in the heat and she was being optimistic when she said it would be fine?

I'd be more apologetic if I'd cancelled, although maybe she doesn't see the problem with you going alone? Some people are.

But that's what the friend did. She said "I can't make it now" a few days before

Unfortunately that was after OP had brought the ticket

Which is why checking is helpful before committing money

Surely you’d say ‘ah never! I’ve booked my ticket after I checked with you we were still on’ and see what she says? Or ask her if she knows anyone who could take the ticket off your hands? This way she knows she’s left you in a bit of a spot and offers her the opportunity to come up with a solution. Better than pretending it’s fine and then fuming about it in silence.

We went to a popular Zoo yesterday, and despite the heat, we had a lovely time - just took precautions - plenty of sun cream, hats, plenty of water etc.

Maybe your friend thought because you mentioned the heat that you were trying to find an excuse not to go?
Just thinking that might have been how she interpreted it.

Exactly. There’s no point in not communicating and festering. It’s perfectly possible she only started thinking about the likely problems of being outdoors all day with young children in very hot weather when you flagged it as a concern.

When did it become normal to stop doing things 'in this heat' when 'this heat' is. eg, 32C? That's in the high 80s in Fahrenheit, which used to be exactly the sort of temperatures people got excited about and made a point of having days out in until about 15 years ago.

Anyway - YANBU. You've bent over backwards to accommodate your friend and her kids and she's been a twat.

I am going to say something very unpopular here. Why not pick up the phone and speak to your friend? Had you spoken you might have conveyed that you were going to buy up front and she would have bowed out then

I am finding that actually talking to people instead of texting gets better results. I used to find the same when I still worked. I found talking to people instead of email actually more productive

At the start of this week I was very pro booking appointments online with a GP but it has become apparent that actually talking to a GP is more effective and things don't get missed

Just my twopenny worth

The least your friend can do is repay you for the ticket, tbh. If I let a friend down like that and left them £40 out of pocket I would insist on paying them for it. It isn't your fault they're so flaky. If you do tell her you already bought the ticket and she doesn't offer then she really isn't a friend imo.

An indoor activity on a hot day is a crap alternative. Just let me be in my house, choosing whether the kids are inside or outside.

You sound so thoughtful and accommodating. I'd personally never have cancelled especially if I knew you had a ticket. I'd have made sure the kids stayed in shady bits as much as possible, lolloped on suncream and sunhats, taken ice-cream breaks. And if I cancelled, I'd have invited you round instead or to something cooler. Pubs and restaurants are also an option if she's organised- yes, they're easier if they have gardens/play areas/play cafés but I always take distraction bags with sticker books, colouring etc. Your consideration deserves better treatment!

She isn’t a good friend to you at all op. For your own self esteem and dignity please reply and tell I bought the ticket when you confirmed and it is a lot of money to lose given they don’t offer refunds. Wait and see what she says. If she values you at all she will either offer to pay you back or honour her agreement to see you. If she does neither I would drop the friendship altogether. This could be a good test of the friendship.

Kids do not suffer less in hot weather. They are more vulnerable to heatstroke and sunburn.