Last minute cancellation due to weather

If you prefer to meet in a pub do that next time - kids are no problems in pubs, they can play a game (bring uno!) or go in the garden if the weather is nice.

You were thoughtful but she isnt a mind reader, you could have said oh it would be good to meet up how about X pub or if the kids are with you Y venue.

And when she cancelled if you say OK nevermind how would she know you're out if pocket, she may even think shes done you a favour too because it was you suggesting the weather was an issue. Id talk to her

As you said you think the friendship has run it's course... You're probably right.... If you do get a chance to see her again make sure it's just you and her. Xxx

I think it's difficult if friends have difference in lifestyle. She has kids,you Don't. Plans are much more likely to fall through with DC.one may have been ill.not wanted to go.the heat here in South coast is on Amber alert. Many plans may collapse. Can you sell on FB maybe. Or just go along for the morning, have some lunch or a coffee. Come home and chill in the afternoon. That's what I do!

Honestly 36 hours is reasonable notice. Any earlier, and the weather forecast could be wrong.

Despite the T&C’s I’d still ask if they can be deferred to another date - worst they can do is say no , just tell them you’ve got Covid or something they won’t want

I normally buy all the tickets together and message the person to either say "you get the tickets and I'll pay you back" or "I'm buying us all tickets now, it's £x for you guys here are my bank details"
It's annoying she's cancelled but she probably doesn't think she's done anything wrong, because she doesn't even know you're out of pocket

I would reply and say 'do you know anyone who would like to go to......... as I've bought a ticket as you were still up for it so I'm looking at selling on to recoup the money so I'm not out of pocket'

Could you sell your ticket on a local site to get some of the funds back? I know that’s not the point to this but just a suggestion!

I would feel the den as you but would have responded ‘aw No, I have just booked my ticket’

I also don’t understand the heat thing, because couldn’t you have met in the morning to do the day out before Lunch? I live abroad and it’s often 40c daily and we just do activities earlier in the morning.

Why couldn’t she bring her children? I frequently take my toddlers to restaurants/pub type places to meet friends? I’m trying to picture the type of place you’ve booked, but if I didn’t have children I would suggest places like the national trust, not child centered activities as frankly I’d not be bothered about going. Is it an outdoor farm type place? I find places like that aren’t great for catchups anyway as your friend will spend the entire time focused on her kids.

@YoungTown i have 2 kids and I am actually on your side, for the most part.

I think it was really shitty of her to say yes, let’s still go then an hour later cancel.

but, what I would suggest for any future things like this is that 1 person agrees to buy the tickets and the others send the money. That way everyone is on the same page!

There are some people I am friends with that I arrange an activity with and then whilst we might chat between arranging and meeting I never feel the need to confirm.

There are others who the day before I will always ask are we still on. Because I have been dicked around by them so many times and they are notorious for cancelling last minute. Two different people that have form for this in particular, on the last occasions we have arranged to meet have cancelled on the day itself, despite confirming the day before that they are still going ahead.

Flakey people are just fucking flakey. You know who they are because you feel the need to check that you’re still meeting ahead of time. If it wasn’t the weather she probably would’ve cancelled for another reason. It’s just rude

You’ve learned a valuable lesson here OP - always book together if you’re going alone with another family. Or at least make it clear to your friend when she confirms that you’re going to go ahead book your ticket now. Yes, rightly or wrongly, parents do sometimes need you to be that direct in the busyness of family life.

Anything can happen with kids - one could have been ill the night before and the whole thing would have been off. If you’d booked together, your friend would have been more inclined to just go for it and honour the plan (in this case re the weather). Or, if it had been illness for example, you could have likely contacted the venue for a date swap - no reputable family venue is going to refuse this in reality. You could still try the latter. But honestly, in the future, just plan to meet at a playpark or low cost family friendly venue. If you don’t have a lot of spare cash to waste, don’t spend it on something that’s not even really for your benefit.

All that said, your friend was thoughtless to pull out. But that was your moment to say you’d already booked.

You didn’t do anything wrong. I think she should carry on going as planned as you’ve brought the ticket. You did a last minute check and she confirmed!

Tell her. Just tell her that you wasted 40 quid and she cancelled and that going forward you will only suggest places that cost nothing and don't allow kids.

And stick to it.

This stuff about not checking the weather is bollocks - you’d have to be living in a cave not to have heard about the upcoming heatwave.

OP I agree with you - I would text and say ‘look I know I said it was okay, but actually I had already purchased my ticket and now I’m out £40 so I’m quite put out. I paid that amount of money because I wanted to spend time with you. I checked you were still up for it and you said yes. Please let me know further in advance next time’. Is she notorious for cancelling?

can you resell your ticket on Facebook to a local for £20 or £30? Recoup some of your money and take yourself out somewhere else instead?

It's done now so I'd either go alone or try and sell the ticket on a local FB page.

I'm cancelling my plans tomorrow (albeit not paid plans but there are a group of us due to meet somewhere outside) as the kids will just be too hot.

* I'd already said we were a maybe and not a definite due to the weather and i'd confirm nearer the time, so cancelling is no big deal.

so? still contact them, preferably by phone.

its been less than 24 hours they may be lenient. it doesn't hurt to ask does it?

What?!

She doesnt want to go, did you read? Its a kids place

I.can understand you feeling disappointed because it makes you question whether she actually wants to see you at all.
in the shoes of probably let it drift and see if she gets in touch to rearrange

Not difficult to tell on here who the flakey friends are - you know as you get older you don’t always have as much opportunity to make friends via kids and schools etc - it’s important to be a good friend if you want to keep friends and ideally be considerate, especially if spending money is involved - personally if I didn’t feel I wanted to go with kids in heat I would have asked the friend to come round instead or suggested an alternative, or at the very least would have ‘asked’ if she had bought a ticket and given it her back - I think the problem is the friend clearly means more to the OP than she does to the friend. It happens.