Last minute cancellation due to weather

I think you should have told her that you were going to buy your ticket / had bought it already.. she probably didn’t realise! In the same situation I would have offered to pay half for my friend or dragged my child out and stuck to the plan, but you didn’t give her the chance

We have actually drifted apart anyway but you are absolutely right!!!! I wish I hadn’t put up with it for so long

In future ask her to buy the tickets and say you’ll transfer her the money for yours! Most family places are also
cheaper if you buy a family ticket (2 adults + 2 children’s).

I’d have sold the ticket to someone else in your shoes.

How much does it cost for children also you could find a family pub or restaurant

This! Maybe when you asked her she was in the middle of 101 things so just replied then when in a moment of calm thought about it and realised it wasn’t sensible.
id always make it known I was buying a ticket ahead of time as it was cheaper, maybe she didn’t realise you weren’t just going to buy the ticket on the day.
I’d also add it’s always a risk buying ahead because what if one of them were ill, pretty common for kids!

You gave her an out by asking if she still wanted to go. Why did you so that when you already had your ticket and still wanted to go. If I had recieved that text I would have assumed you were looking for an out and let you off the hook. She has done nothing wrong imho, but I appear to be a minority here so 🤷🏼‍♀️

Yeah, we put that in our T&C's so that we don't HAVE TO refund or move, it doesn't mean we won't if someone calls and asks nicely.

Because she asked for fucking opinions and that's my fucking opinion. I hope that clears things the fuck up for you.

💯 agree you are well within your right to be pissed off. And pp have shared some good ideas about family tickets and clarifying you are going to book and at the same time book theirs too lol.

Dear OP I feel I could have written this post myself because I have a similar friend who now has 3 kids and Ive known her for 20 years and for around 14 of those years she has been pregnant/ had kids and the majority of that time I had none/ single so I made the effort to go see her or would make the effort to host her and her kids. I accepted that during school holidays she wouldn't have childcare so if I wanted to spend time with her I'd need to do kid friendly activities and she cancelled so often I lost count.

Now I'm the one with a toddler and do you think she makes an effort to see me with or without kids? Damn right she doesn't. She's still a flake. And people on her will jump all over me to say oh but she has 3 kids so it's much harder for her and they won't be into the same things your toddler is into. Perhaps she wants child free evening etc etc. Total bs. Fact is that in some friendships the dynamic can become one person is the default organiser and one to suggest meeting up and the other is passive or willing to have that friend fit into whatever stage of life that they are in. And that can still be ok but don't go bending over backwards to accommodate, next time suggest something that you would enjoy with or without her and find other friends who are more available.

In regards to my friend It was a good couple of years after she had her first that I suggested we meet up for lunch without kids ( her DH was out of work so he was able to sort out pick ups etc) but she wanted a kid free lunch from me combined with theatre which she got, when mine was barely 6 months and still breastfed.

Why the fuck should the OP take the lead on this? She isn't the one with the kids in tow so it's not down to her to decide what is or isn't doable with them.
Ridiculous response.

She might have realised she couldn't afford it. Suck it up.

I think this is just a breakdown in communication.

You suggested the weather was too hot, she reflected and agreed with you.

Better to have a conversation rather than text in this type of situation.

I don’t think vitriol for the friend is warranted, she doesn’t know you booked your ticket, are out of pocket and now annoyed with her.

Rather than adapting to her BS. You should of stopped being friends with her as she doesn't respect you or care about your feelings. You are allowing this crappy behaviour hence why she keeps doing it.

I think your friend is horrible op. She should have suggested a family ticket. She is way out of order for cancelling after you had re-confirmed

OP, you did nothing wrong. You chose a place suitable for her and her kids which was kind of you. You checked the weather with her beforehand. You bought your ticket in advance to save money. All this makes sense.

If she went to Disney world in the heat, there may be a different reason she is not meeting up. I would pull back on the friendship for a bit and let her arrange something with you.

I would do what the poster above suggests and ask her if she knows anyone who might buy the ticket from you - at least let her know you bought a ticket.

Not the same but years ago a ‘friend’ would suggest a pub night out. She was single I had young children so I would look forward to meeting her as I enjoyed her company so I’d arrange when I didn’t have my kids and then she would cancel last minute with a wishy washy excuse. It was so annoying when you are looking forward to a night out with a friend whose company I enjoyed. Obviously we don’t see each other any more

This isn't really flaking - as you say, it would be unfair to force her children outside all day in this heat. She's had to make a decision based on her kids' best interests.

Did she even know you'd planned to buy in advance? Did you tell her you were doing so because of the discount?

If not then she'll have had no idea that she was costing you money by pulling out.

TBF, knowing what the weather was forecast to be for this weekend and that money is tight, you really should have waited until the last possible minute and triple checked with her. Surely she'd have wanted to take advantage of the discount too?

What an utter snowflake ❄️

It's hardly the Sahara and water can be taken, do things at a slower pace etc.

Yanbu, your friend sounds softer than a marshmallow. Xx

It depends on were you are. People are being advised to not be out in the heat if older, or with primary aged children. There's been dozens of people treated for heat stroke at Ascot.
This has all been caused by the OP jumping the gun and booking her ticket, when as a pp pointed out, it would have been cheaper again to get a family ticket. Children shouldn't be getting dragged around in this weather.

Sorry haven’t read the full thread but maybe next time get her to book and send payment through when she’s booked 🤔

Still ask. Where I work the t & c’s say the same thing but we still change them..

It strikes me that OP was making all the running. OP is aggrieved that her friend had not made the effort to come to her house and she felt she was putting herself out by always arranging meet ups.

Perhaps OP should take a step back and see if her friend suggests opportunities for getting together.

The friend may feel she is being dominated.

If the friend contacts OP then OP should ask the friend to arrange something. If she doesn’t then OP has her answer. The friendship has run it’s course.

I think your friend is at fault here as you have suggested a kid friendly place and checked that it would be ok in the heat. She would also assume you’d buy your ticket in advance if it’s a lot cheaper so that’s also not your fault.

if she’s never been to your house and you do a lot of kid things with her that’s really nice of you as when I had a child most of my friends dropped me as wanted to do other stuff. To see how your friendship may or may not turn out as she’s now cancelled an outdoor event due to heat I would invite her and the kids to your house tomorrow for an indoor picnic. Gets the kids out of their house and she gets to see your home.

some of my friends and family haven’t seen my home after 6years so I’m now LC NC with them all as it hurts a lot. I invited my oldest school friend to mine any weekend of her choice this year for our big birthdays and to see my home and I got a no. That’s after a 40plus year friendship so you are best off knowing sooner rather than later if that’s going to happen.

Oh my god who wants to go somewhere with loads of kids if they don’t have kids? 🙈 I have 4 kids and even I don’t want to go anywhere where there’s loads of them! She isn’t a wimp if she just doesn’t fancy it ffs.

I agree with the others here, both of you should have communicated more openly about when you were buying tickets, an 'ok booking my ticket now, are you going to book yours in advance too" type thing.