It's gone 10pm and the neighbours are still making noise in the garden

I could, but I always only get no more 6 hours. I am on the go literally all day long - go to bed at 1am, up at 6.45am and don’t stop until 10.30pm.

You think the Spanish, for example, aren't outside chatting at 10pm? It's common to not have even finished dinner at that time. Kids still awake and playing etc.

Then stop using gaslighting to mean "people online have a different opinion to me"

That's the term you need

Gaslighting means making someone question their entire reality, think they are going mad, think they are misreading the situation over a long period.

Just once saying "that's not what happened" or some people online saying "I find it hard to believe you can't hear your alarm if you're such a light sleeper" or "that's not my experience" on one thread is NOT gaslighting

You are seriously undermining and minimising a serious form of abuse and need to just stop arguing that you are right

I have written a few posts now, including this. Allow me the grace to go look up a suitable alternative to people being a total cunt - just to repeat again.

Denying the reality of someone in the form they do on here. And revelling in that. So, again - I really will go see if I can identify something more apt.

If you're a victim of gaslighting, my intent is not to undermine your experience in any way. I mean that with absolute sincerity. 🙏

Looks like op fell asleep before she could see if the neighbours stayed up past curfew and she could snitch them out to the council (who won't do anything either way).

Op also didn't say what they were actually doing either, if they had drum and bass playing through a subwoofer and and were all screaming then yeah yanbu but most likely they were just drinking a bottle of wine and talking/lauguing which wouldn't constitute any kind of nuisance.

Op you either need to wear ear plugs. Sleep with headphones playing white noise which swaps to an alarm. Buy a daylight alarm. Buy a vibrating alarm. Buy new double glazing. Buy a new house. Or go to a sleep clinic and find out exactly why you're exhausted, grouchy and your sleep quality is so poor you need loads of it.

I just got this off the government website

Councils can investigate complaints of statutory nuisance to tackle noise produced at any time of day or night.
They may also issue warning notices in response to complaints about noise above permitted levels from 11pm to 7am. These warning notices can be used by councils for noise that’s not a statutory nuisance.

most garden noise like taking and kids playing is not going to be considered a statutory nuisance
www.gov.uk/guidance/noise-nuisances-how-councils-deal-with-complaints#:~:text=Councils%20can%20investigate%20complaints%20of,that's%20not%20a%20statutory%20nuisance.

It's not gaslighting

You are making a mockery of a very serious form of mental abuse

That's worse than anyone who is disagreeing (which is what's happening) is doing

Yep

Why do so many people think that 11 pm is some magic hour? There is no law that says you can be as noisy as you like until 11 pm.

it’s a complete myth.

Absolutely. It's common decency. Not even with the night shifts. I just wouldn't. I have insomnia so don't even go to bed early and I still empathise completely with OP.

I have recently concluded that British people while having lots of other good qualities, are extremely inconsiderate.

Mine are noisy every single day from about 11am onwards, the weather has to be really bad for them to have the back door and the windows shut. In this heat they have the front door open too with visitors arriving at all hours, they shout, they scream, they play tinny sounding music on a phone while leaning out of an upstairs window and chucking fag ends on the pavement. A little bit of noise on a very hot night would be nothing to me, it is too hot for my liking but some people enjoy it. Real problems are when you are in a situation like mine and noise is an everyday problem

But what if your neighbour worked nights at weekends? You children would never be allowed to make any noise in the garden of their entire childhood? Seriously?

also the summer holidays are coming up- I bought a house with a garden so that I could shove them out in the summer. It is completely unreasonable to suggest I am not allowed to use my own property.

I'm going to research an appropriate descriptor that reflects the absolute CF behaviour of posters on here - which is not an ' opinion'. In all seriousness, I will see what there is that feels more apt on this level to describe what posters often do.

I know gaslighting very well unfortunately. Denying the reality of someone as if they're not really experiencing this. It's exactly what posters on MN do often. And revel in it. I am going to do some internet research........🤗

if I knew my next door neighbour worked nights & they asked me to keep noise down then no I wouldn’t let my kids run screaming round the garden or I’d at least try to get them to play quietly. Weekends are a bit different.

I think giving notice about parties is a considerate neighbourly thing to do. Noise at gone ten pm in garden on weekday is a bit anti social

Not gaslighting at all.

OP has not confirmed what sort of noise they’re making? Quietly sitting chatting is fine, full on party not so much.

I think you need to just allow this one/two off to happen.

I’d have said YABU until my new neighbours moved in 😭

they’ve converted the house next door into a house share type situation for contractors at the new power plant being built. They are so insanely loud and seem to invite the whole of the workforce back for a bbq every night of the week since thy moved in. The (pretty small) garden is rammed fence to fence with men swearing and talking about 500 times louder than necessary, banging into the fence and slamming the back door every 12 seconds. I could just about cope with that if they went in at a sensible time, but they were out there sorting bottles out at 12.30am last night.

My dog only has to sneeze in the garden and I’m worrying he’ll bother someone and I bring him in, why do other people seem to have no awareness 😭

It’s obviously annoying to you, but they are not being unreasonable they are allowed to enjoy their garden and 10pm while late for you isn’t late in general.

That’s crazy- are you saying that if I happen to have a neighbour that works night shifts then I am not allowed to enjoy my garden during the day? The children have to tip toe quietly rather than enjoying the summer holidays and having fun in the garden?

I absolutely will not be giving notice to my neighbours for things that are happening in my garden during the day and I wouldn’t complain if my neighbours have loud activities in their garden as long as it is prior to 11pm.

Hahahaha no way this is real. 10pm. 😂

We were just getting going at 10, but don’t worry we will be in bed by 1.

No, it really isn’t. And bandying this word around like this is really undermining to those who really have suffered this type of abuse.

100% agree!!

We've been out in the garden every night this week its been lovely

I expect they've gone indoors by now, 10pm is not that late. I hope you are deeply asleep and wake refreshed.