It's gone 10pm and the neighbours are still making noise in the garden

Several people have asked but OP didn’t answer what the neighbours were doing.

Screeching? Loud music? Or just quietly talking?

You can’t demand absolute silence from your surrounding neighbours at times that suit your schedule.

My teen DC were so hot this evening that they had no appetite until about 10pm so we had a late (light) dinner. We actually ate inside tonight but it wouldn’t have been unreasonable to eat on the patio - so there would have been quiet chatting.

In many households, 10pm isn’t late although to be fair, it would be very unreasonable if a neighbour was blasting out loud music at that time on a weekday evening. Chatting though? Can’t see a problem.

I regularly work nights - and my noisy neighbours disturb me at 7am when they’re yelling at each other, clattering around, and banging the front door as they leave around 8am. That’s just life with close neighbours though 🤷‍♀️

Hope you got some sleep OP.

To be honest, it can get a bit like that round here. It's because the weather is nice, people want to drink and have BBQs. If it's a one off, I would try to get through it by using earplugs or maybe some relaxing music on your earphones if you have them? I know it's annoying, but sometimes you have to turn the other cheek.

Perhaps he should have done .. 😏

And the neighbour the other side might get in at 3am and be woken by her leaving at 5am!

We can't be silent and act like we don't exist 24/7 because someone near us might work at different times to us

Perhaps he should have done..

It might be only 10pm but she has to be up at 5am for a 12 hour shift!!

You know they will do absolutely nothing right?

I’m a very light sleeper and I hate noise.

problem is, you have to get up at 5am. Your neighbours don’t. So you have different needs.

but why do you expect that your need to get up at 5am means they aren’t allowed to enjoy their garden at 10pm?

you expecting your needs to be more important than their needs is really unreasonable.

my husband worked on Covid wards during 2020. He worked nights and tried to sleep in the day. It was hard for him to sleep because furloughed neighbours were hollering in their garden. Not once did he complain.

FWIW I agree with you. Perhaps gaslighting is the wrong term but I’d have been tempted to use it. The number of threads on MN that I read and think “surely this only has one answer” only to find that s whole host of people have managed to conjour up a polar opposite spin on what has actually been said in order to make the OP feel small and silly

How are you so sensitive to neighbours noise but can't hear your alarm through earplugs?

Sorry but you can not expect others to revolve their life around your shift pattern.
what if a neighbour worked nights? Would the rest of the neighbours not be allowed to make noise all day because a night worker was sleeping?
My ex husband used to do nights and need to sleep most of the day -
the neighbours had this weird habit of moving plant pots around the garden (presumably chasing the sun), it makes a right racket..… the children the other side played out in their garden and screamed and splashed around in a paddling pool, the occasional dog barked….. unfortunately it is part and parcel of doing shift work and living on an estate.
I guess the other option is to politely ask them if they can be a little quieter as you have work at 5am…

Or why not ask them to turn the noise down

Id be seriously pissed off if the council or police turned up and my neighbour hadn't approached me first

How very dare they

Then surely you’ll easily sleep through a bit of chat in next door’s garden.

I'd seriously want to move over this.

It's like anti social behaviour - it takes so so much for any appropriate action even when residents are being terrorised daily. I used to work in the field in London and felt so much for residents who I knew were never going to get a resolution even after months of so much crap from neighbours.

There's actually a film I watched this week based on a horrible nightmare neighbour. Restless it's called. It might be triggering 😬

It's the worst nightmare of decent considerate people because there isn't much to be done.

Edit to add - a friend used to have regular gatherings in the garden like this. I did tell her I'd hate to live anywhere near her - even though the parties were fab.

No no. I am currently looking at all definitions online!.

The behaviour is shitty. It's not a difference of opinion very often when posters do this thing - I will find the right word. This is what I will absolutely disagree with you on,not the aptness of ' gaslighting'.

It's the perfect username I concur entirely. 😆

Mine regularly make noise in their garden until 4am in summer, along with fire, music, drunken singing, so we can’t leave windows open in warm weather. All reported to the council umpteen times and they won’t do about it. They even said that people can make as much noise as they like unless multiple people complain, but as they back directly onto my bedroom, it’s usually just me complaining.

Your replies certainly do feel like you are saying "I am right but sure, OK" being as you have kept trying to make it sound like your meaning is correct

You probably should take your own name's advice

Maybe, just maybe, some people have different work schedules to you - their Thursday could be for Friday for example,
shut your window if the noise of people chatting id too much

I'm currently researching an appropriate term for the CF behaviour that I see so often during the witching hour on MN.

I hope OP is having the most wonderful sleep and dreams as we debate.....🤞😆

Read my posts. If I was so sure my version was correct, I would say to you - no, I'm right and that would be the end of it.

I hear you. I truly hear you.

I am going to look up an alternative descriptor of the behaviour. I believe this is the fourth time I have said that. It isn't a joke btw.

You want me to agree that insidious behaviour which is absolutely not a difference of opinion, is just a difference of opinion. Well, no.

Agree.

It's not that 11pm is some "magic hour"

It's that you can make noise in your garden, that isn't overly loud or a statutory nuisance, until 11 without it being a complaint worthy situation

OP never actually explained what the noise was. She might have different responses if in OP she'd said "my neighbours are having a party with loud music, a bouncy castle and about 40 people there" or "my neighbours are sitting in the garden talking and it's annoying me"

Where does being considerate start and stop though really, at this time of year when we have our windows open - some people are out and about at 6am which can disturb people who only get home at midnight; lots of people work all sorts of hours and shifts, but surely they get to enjoy the best t of good weather and time away from work when they can?
if the noise is that much either knock on and complain or shut your window on that side.