It's gone 10pm and the neighbours are still making noise in the garden

It's not gaslighting...

Gaslighted is a prolonged mental abuse

Not disagreeing and saying you have different experience

@DoctorRoseReturns Gaslighting someone out of their experience is exactly what the CFs on here do and plenty a post is doing, well just that - with respect 🙏

The OP hasn't even stated what kind of noise it was has she?

I think there's no regulation against it but my neighbour was into mowing the garden at 10pm. I wasn't phased as the odd one off but if my son was with me and in bed I absolutely would have said something and be pissed.

I have had a few conversations with my neighbours and they're loads better. My username was created based upon this. 😆

I just wouldn't let my son fog horn out in the garden after 9. No way. It's super rural where I live so maybe it isn't so impactful in a city or built up estate. 🤷

Don't use gaslit to mean people have different opinions ffs

Last night I had a meeting via Zoom, the house is still extremely warm but the garden was lovely and cool so I went out there. Much cooler and I finished it just after 10pm. Well within the law, better for me too. Other people were out around the same time, enjoying the long evenings, just existing.

Tonight I've got in from work just after 10:30

Thankfully I don't live around people who want and expect people not to make a sound. And I recognise that people work all kinds of hours

In fact, I seem to recall seeing that, since Covid, more places have gone to a 4 day week so people don't work Fridays. Or that's the day they are allowed to WFH so don't have to be up so early.

Respectfully, if your health conditions and job don't align well, as this seems with you needing X amount of sleep for a physical job which exhausts you so much you can't hear your alarm (but also aren't exhausted enough to just drop off) then maybe it's time to look at a different job which may suit your conditions better

That’s not their fault

You think you've got problems?

I used to work for a newsagent and had to be there at 4.45am to open the shop for the newspaper deliveries. That meant I had to be up at 3.30.am

I used to go to bed at 8.00 and this time of year there was always some ejit moron neighbour cutting the grass.

I feel your pain.

Blackout curtains, industrial earplugs and a vibrating alarm clock kept me sane.

Rant over.

Wow wow wow. It's the witching hour. What sort of pie heads are replying to your thread, I really wonder.

OP, you are being gaslit out of your reality by the unhappy MN mob.

Not unreasonable of you at all. It's just decent behaviour to shut it. At the wknd you'd have more understanding. I get it. Some people just don't have decent manners.

9 isn't unreasonable though.

As for OP, depends what the noise is. Watering their garden with the sound being water only, fine. Music, not fine.

I feel your pain OP. My neighbours kids were in the garden till after 9 tonight, keeping my DS (who is knackered and really needs a good night sleep awake). My other neighbours seem to be nocturnal and have no idea how loud they're being. It's so inconsiderate and uncool. Both sets of neighbours are late 20s/early 30s so may be a generational thing?

I’ll be honest my family were all outside mucking about in the garden until about 9.30. Kids were kicking a ball and we were sitting chatting. It was still fully light outside and we were enjoying the warmth in the garden. I don’t think we were making a crazy load of noise but our neighbours probably could hear us. Didn’t occur to us to come in earlier. Past about 10pm I’d think it was a bit anti social as it would be darker then but technically until 11pm we are within our rights to enjoy our garden. I wouldn’t be upset with my neighbours if they chose to do the same.

Don’t be silly…. A lot of people need an actual alarm, ie, one which makes noise. People who are hard of hearing obviously have no choice other than to have a vibrating one, but most of us who can hear prefer one that’s noisy.

It really depends what the noise is. If it's music etc I'd expect them to start winding it down around 10pm. If they're just making everyday noise in their garden then it's reasonable. If it's my neighbours dogs barking endlessly it's murder.

You could try these sleep headphones that are designed to be slept in and set an alarm? Maybe listen to some ambient noise like waves or rain noise?

I use loop sleep ear plugs and they block out a lot of noise. I can still hear my alarm but I sometimes turn it off in my sleep, I set the alarm on my Apple Watch which always vibrates and wakes me.

My issue isn’t with neighbours though, believe it or not it’s cows! We have lots of flocks of cows in the field behind my bedroom and they are surprisingly noisy. The sound of the birds in the early hours is also loud enough to wake me and DP, nature can be as annoying as neighbours sometimes 😂.

I couldn’t bear the sound of other inconsiderate people so followed all advice to just go and live in the middle of fields. Now I get owls hooting loudly, buzzards shrieking, cows mooing and various other nocturnal creatures making a racket. I still prefer to hear the owls being loud outside my bedroom window thanSleep headphones. kids on trampolines or pressure washers though.

Heres the link Amazon earphones

Yep me too. They dont block everything out completely. They just dull noise enough to allow you to drop off and are quite effective at dulling noise outside but can still hear my alarm.

You might not be in bed at 10, but are you out in the garden making noise? We have children living on our road. Windows are open because of the warm weather, and so yes I would say it’s inconsiderate on a week night to be outside in the garden being noisy. Just because you can, doesn’t mean you should. Not too difficult to just have some consideration for others….

No it's 39 % if people who work mon-fri daytiines.

So you never go to supermarkets, petrol garages, restaurants, hospitals etc? All of them have people not doing the money/Fri 9-5 scenerio. So EVERY member of your friends and family just do office hours

How much noise are we talking about? Two people chatting, or a party of 50, complete with speakers??

It is the solstice tonight, so people might be celebrating that 🌞

Sounds like a bigger problem you have OP, is being overworked. Although inconsiderate neighbours are the worst x

So you're saying around 60% of people in this so called 'study' had work hours that meant they didn't get in from work til 11pm? 🙄 I don't know a single person who comes in from work that late. I am sure there are some people who do, but it is not 'the majority.'

How many took part in this 'study?' About 500 people I reckon.

We have loud neighbours who are up making noise at all hours. My husband does shift work too and it was a source of real pain.
What we found that works is a sound machine to play white noise, it drowns out any outside noise and we both sleep a lot better. Takes a little getting used to but it really helps; I would urge you to give it a go.

I would try a vibrating alarm clock - I’ve got one and it’s very effective.

Oh @Donaldduck22 I feel your pain to an extent. Not got to be up as early as you tomorrow but kids in bed, and this weather tends to bring out the drunk karaoke wankers with no consideration for any living thing. My local ones have been wailing in the garden since 17.30 and it's just got worse and worse. No advice, just solidarity. To address a constant theme, no you don't have to be in bed by now, but it would be nice to not keep everyone in a 500m radius awake too. Eg go inside, don't screech.

YANBU @Donaldduck22 and I can't believe you're getting such a hard time on here. Really, people should start to STFU after 9pm, and quieten down... And they shouldn't start any noise til 8am. The 11pm to 7am thing needs changing to no noise between 9pm and 8am. Obviously, normal household sounds yes, but no loud music, loud voices, loud TV, and stupid 'inconsiderate ass' noise. And no bloody rowdy behaviour in the garden this late at night!

Not sure what to suggest though sorry.

OP try Alpine sleepsoft earplugs, I am a heavy sleeper and I can hear my alarm with these. They are the best I've found.