To create a fuss about my son not having access to water today in school

Point we’re making is that no-one was “thirsty all the time”…. Because we had actual glasses of water with meal times. Not a sip here and a sip there which never satisfies your thirst. It’s people never having a proper drink that makes them feel thirsty all the time and need constant access to a water bottle.

An incredibly obvious solution to this is to tell your son that he needs to stop messing about with his water bottle if he wants to keep it on his desk. If he can’t manage that then he will need to ask to get a drink when he feels thirsty.

Alternatively, you could email the headteacher but no matter how you word it, it will come across as ‘I think my son should just be allowed to get on with being annoying and disruptive’.

YANBU of course a child should be able to drink water through the day whenever he feels he needs it in such hot weather.

Stinking! Bloomin' auto correct. *Stimming.

He was not denied access to water he was asked to keep his bottle elsewhere. Constant fidgeting sounds low level but it is very disruptive to learning in a classroom and all the children have a right to learn. By all means have a word that you understand he can’t have his water bottle in his desk but can he go to it if need be, but seriously don’t complain.

I would then speak to the SENco about his needs to support him as that is the bigger issue here.

Water bottles weren't even a thing in the 70s. If we went out for the day and wanted to take a drink with us we had to fill up an empty squash bottle. As it was so heavy we didn't bother but most park's had fountains. We didn't get milk at school either as Mrs T took it away.

I dunno, I'm on the fence. My son is a fidgeter. It's a bit of an issue. But the school are great about it. They've got him fidget toys and a wobble cushion. When he's getting too fidgety they'll talk to him and ask him what he needs. Sometimes he needs to spin and sometimes he just needs a break. He is being assessed for ASD and ADHD though and I'm certain he will get a diagnosis of one or the other, or both. They wouldn't take his water away I don't think. I think it's important to know whether your child is fidgeting because they are stinking/distressed or if they're fidgeting because they're messing about.

If you email the Head they won’t believe you in future if you have a genuine complaint. Do you really think the teacher is trying to punish your son by witholding water?

What is more likely is that he disrupts the class with constant fiddling. I think the lack of attention and behaviour he cannot control if the issue here, not a bullying teacher.

Making a child keep their water bottle somewhere other than their desk because they are fiddling and causing a distraction to others is not denying them access to water. There will have been plenty of opportunity for him to drink if he’s wanted to.

I did die of it once at school but after that I was ok.

I did between my 25 min break at 1 and leaving at 4 because I was working and I couldn’t leave kids unsupervised whilst I went and chugged 500mls of water. 3 hours is not a long time if you’re not doing hard labour outside. My 3 year old can go that long 😂 pretty sure you would kick off if your a&e nurse said they would be adding ten mins extra between patients so they can refill their water bottles every 15 mins. not sure why this idea of kids and adults needing to suckle on their Stanley’s or Airups every two mins came from, it’s like vaping, an form of oral pacifier

I understand everyone else's position however

You should never restrict access to drinks and food as a punishment

Are you sure what your son is telling you is 100% accurate? It sounds unlikely that the teacher would make the comment about him telling his mum in front of the class - if so that would be unprofessional.

I would talk to the teacher at pick up about the water bottle. If he had been messing about with it then you need to explain to him that if he wants to use it during lessons he has to be sensible with it or he won’t be allowed it.

As others have said we just got a swig at the water fountain during breaks although times have moved on!

We have a constant stream of kids (secondary) asking to refill their bottles obviously in this weather they ask more as parents are telling them To drink plenty of water. Fair enough but if we let them all individually refill them there would literally be a kid out of class one at a time for the whole class and about 25% of them take the time to go for a stroll, meet a mate who’s also filling their bottles obviously, have a cheeky go on their vape in the toilets etc. they can refill their bottles at 9.55, 10.50-11.10, 12.55 and then lunch at 1 they can also buy flavoured drinks etc. school finishes at 3.15 and they can fill up before they leave.

your son had chance to drink at break and dinner, surely, he wouldn’t have needed to go more than a couple of hours . Not like he was running a marathon or something. Before water bottles in class were a thing children survived!

OP honestly if he genuinely can’t sit still and fiddles with his water bottle constantly then I would look at getting him assessed (my DD16 has AuDHD)

The teachers asking your son why he told you what happened is concerning though. It’s sociopathic for a teacher not to think a child will tell their parents what happened in school.

If he was thirsty why didn't he have more than a few sips at lunch?
Also did he actually ask for water in the afternoon?

If he was messing around with the water bottle teacher was right to tell him to put it away.

Hi @Icantfeelmyface ,

Can you have a chat with the SENCO about what 'fidgets' they have available for children that need them?

I have a child that has been offered a fidget toy, there were a range to choose from, they chose a type of magic cube thing, and a doodle pad. Both the fidget and the doodle pad have really helped them, and their teacher. Their concentration levels are much improved. And less random scribbling all over their classwork!

My child's in year 5, and so I've spoken with the Director of SEN at the school my child is likely to end up at for Secondary, and they've kindly advised that any supports (like the fidget, toilet pass, doodle pad) which are established at Primary will automatically be applied at their Secondary, that's just their normal school policy. This has been a great relief.

My child has a dyslexia diagnosis. However they would have been able to access this type of support, even without the dyslexia diagnosis. SEN interventions are based on need, not diagnosis.

Yabu. He is obviously messing about in class. Thd teacher told him to put his bottle away and stop fidgeting with it. She didn't say he couldn't have a drink. This water bottle nonsense has got out of hand.

Ignore all the 'back in my day' responses OP. I'd love to know how many of those posters went all afternoon without a drink yesterday.

The truth of what happened may lie somewhere between what you and your son have said, and what the teacher will inevitably say. For example did he really just have a 'few sips' at lunch, or did he say that to add to weight to his complaint? In any case I don't think it's unreasonable for children to have constant access to their bottles on a day as hot as yesterday, and it did get hotter as the afternoon wore on, so how thirsty he felt at lunchtime is not relevant. I would just ask what happened, and make the point that he said he was really thirsty. Hopefully then the teacher will ensure he knows that if he can't have the bottle on his desk because of the fidgeting, he can ask her for some water if he gets thirsty.

This relatively recent idea that kids should have access to water all the time is just silly. True - if they are thirsty, they should be able to get a drink within a reasonable time (e.g.break or lunchtime) but humans really don't need to cart around liquids 24 hours a day. When did you last hear of someone dying of dehydration in the UK?

This. Boys often feel picked on by teachers I have noticed. I’d go and tell her that and ask her why she said that in front of the class.

But he still had access to water just not directly in front of him on the table? He could have had a drink at break and lunch and could ask if he could have a drink if he really needed it during lesson too?

If the bottle was constantly getting played with it seems reasonable to put it out of the way.

YADBU! He couldn’t have been thirsty if he only had a few sips at lunch. And why didn’t he have a drink at morning break?? Your son is grumpy about being told off, so is trying to get you on side by using this water bottle story and turning a minor thing into a drama. You’re playing right into his hands. Tell him he must drink at break and lunch.

FWIW, my school doesn’t allow any bottles in class. They all drink at break times and at lunch.

So he did have a drink "all day"

He had whatever he drank before school, a drink at lunch and a drink after school.

I wouldn't email the head about this...I would re-enforce with my son the importance of not messing about with his bottle during class, and having a proper drink at break and lunch.

What is it... about 2 hours between school start and break? And then another 2 between break and lunch and then another 2 or 3 till home time? I do think that is plenty of drink times without needing a bottle on the desk constantly , especially if a kid is going to be disruptive with said drink

In my (secondary) school, students are allowed water bottles on the table with the expectation that they are not a distraction or a nuisance. If they were, they would be taken away.

But re the constant sipping from bottles, I am late 40s and if i don’t have a water bottle on my desk to drink from each hour, I don’t find it very pleasant (dry mouth!) but that maybe comes from doing 5/6 hours of teaching each day and talking a bit too much!