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Feeling humiliated after resigning

143 replies

Happyfeet82 · 19/06/2025 21:54

I’d really appreciate some outside perspective.

I recently handed in my notice after just three weeks in a new job. The environment was toxic and it was affecting my mental health — I knew pretty quickly that it wasn’t the right fit. I’m now working a one-week notice period.
Today, there was a team meeting I couldn’t attend due to a scheduling conflict. I later caught up via the recording, and some of the comments made about me by the Managing Director were really disheartening.

She said I “lack motivation” because I live at home and told my colleauges that I said “I don’t need to work.” I want to be clear: I never said I don’t need to work. What I did say was that I’m in a fortunate position right now, living at home, which allows me to make the right decision for myself. I’m actively looking for a new full-time role and already have interviews lined up.

The part that really stuck with me was when she said, “If I were her parent, I’d be disappointed.” I found that comment deeply inappropriate and unnecessarily personal.

I’ve drafted an email addressing this, stating that I heard what was said and, in light of it, I don’t believe it’s in either of our best interests for me to work the remainder of my notice. But I’m torn between sending it or just finishing the week quietly and walking away with dignity.

Thoughts? I feel so angry.

OP posts:
Enough4me · 20/06/2025 00:30

TalkToTheHand123 · 20/06/2025 00:17

You shouldn't have been such a snowflake and just stood up for yourself.

Makes no sense.

Enough4me · 20/06/2025 00:30

Life isn't perfect or even fair but this can be a good thing. When you're in a better job you'll have a greater sense of appreciation. I hope it's soon and this will be a situation you look back on as a, "remember that horrible job when...".

LozzaCh0ps · 20/06/2025 00:29

Congratulations on your escape, OP!

TalkToTheHand123 · 20/06/2025 00:27

Crushed23 · 20/06/2025 00:24

How, if she wasn’t even in the meeting?

At the start before she resigned. It's done now though so no point doing anything now, would just make her look more silly.

Tiredandtiredagain · 20/06/2025 00:27

TalkToTheHand123 · 20/06/2025 00:17

You shouldn't have been such a snowflake and just stood up for yourself.

How?

Crushed23 · 20/06/2025 00:24

TalkToTheHand123 · 20/06/2025 00:17

You shouldn't have been such a snowflake and just stood up for yourself.

How, if she wasn’t even in the meeting?

Tiddlywinksrus · 20/06/2025 00:23

I would call in sick for the remainder of the week, then never look back.
I have walked out of a few very shit toxic jobs and they are not on my cv!

TalkToTheHand123 · 20/06/2025 00:17

You shouldn't have been such a snowflake and just stood up for yourself.

Vaxtable · 20/06/2025 00:04

I would send the email, and copy it into her boss, or even top person at the business including the recorded call

it’s simply not acceptable behaviour

BruFord · 20/06/2025 00:04

@D3vonmaid A company of 5 people won’t have an HR department, the nasty MD probably owns it, despite being incredibly unprofessional.

D3vonmaid · 20/06/2025 00:01

The behaviour of the MD in that meeting, choosing to talk about you behind your back to the rest of the team should 100% validate your decision (if you need that). Their behaviour was totally unprofessional, and someone who chooses to lead by that example is an arsehole, no wonder the culture is toxic. Walk away with your head held high, knowing you have done the right thing. And on your last day submit a detailed complaint to HR, it might not come to anything but it should be recorded that her behaviour towards staff is so unpleasant.
I wish I’d had the resources and awareness to recognise a psychopath early in my career, it would have saved me a lot of stress.

Crushed23 · 19/06/2025 23:46

AssassinsEyebrow · 19/06/2025 23:38

For goodness sake, does it really matter?

Of course it matters. The notice period is 1 week in a job she hates and they appear to be trying to make her work 10 days? Yeah, they can fuck right off.

EggnogNoggin · 19/06/2025 23:45

Shrug your shoulders, work your notice and move on.

It's a toxic workplace so its no surprise that they're acting toxic 🤷‍♀️

HeyWiggle · 19/06/2025 23:45

Fuck them! Send the email but make sure you mention that the workplace toxicity is the main reason you’re going and the discussion around you also sends alarm bells.

Kettlemetal · 19/06/2025 23:44

How is your last day 30th if it’s only a week’s notice period?

Crushed23 · 19/06/2025 23:43

ColinCaterpillarsNo1Fan · 19/06/2025 23:26

On the 30th June at 4:55pm email the video and an exit email to the CEO, HR & that person's line manager. Then shut down your computer and walk out, whatever happens as a result of the email is none of your concern.

A company of five people is unlikely to have a CEO and an MD, an HR department, nor chains of command and “line managers”.

Shoemadlady · 19/06/2025 23:42

I would absolutely raise a complaint / grievance. It’s completely unacceptable and unprofessional to discuss you in an open forum like that. I would pull her to one side and have her for it and then put it in writing too.

Crushed23 · 19/06/2025 23:40

First of all, you do not have to work until June 30th - can the MD not count? If your contract says 1 week’s notice and you handed your notice in on June 18th, your last day is June 25th.

Secondly, she was unprofessional but also, as she knew you would likely listen to the meeting, I agree with PP, it’s workplace bullying. What a piece of work.

All that being said, I am afraid they are in their right not to pay you if you don’t work your notice. Especially as a small company of 5 people. So just put it behind you and focus on finding another job. Best of luck.

spicemaiden · 19/06/2025 23:39

Well I can see why you’re leaving. What an awful environment

AssassinsEyebrow · 19/06/2025 23:38

Fundayout2025 · 19/06/2025 23:31

Its only the 19th now so maths arent adding up. When did you hand in your weeks notice?

For goodness sake, does it really matter?

Fundayout2025 · 19/06/2025 23:31

Happyfeet82 · 19/06/2025 22:05

I was only with the company for 3 weeks so a very short notice period, 1 week.

Its only the 19th now so maths arent adding up. When did you hand in your weeks notice?

SundayNightBluesAreHere · 19/06/2025 23:28

Why are they even discussing you in a meeting you were not present for?

latetothefisting · 19/06/2025 23:27

assertiveplant · 19/06/2025 23:24

On what legal basis would you take it further? For what objective? The fact it's only been 3 weeks is highly relevant.

Just walk away and move on.

I wouldn't take it further but it's handy to have in her back pocket in case they don't pay OP the remainder of their notice - the bad press if she released it or threatened to go to acas or put it on glassdoor or whatever should be enough for them to think it's worth paying her for a few days.

Make sure you've got a saved copy of the recording OP just in case she deletes it - play it and record it on your phone if needed.

Everyone saying to email it to HR, CEO etc - OP has specified that there are only 5 people including the MD in the entire company so the MD probably IS the CEO and HR, thus why she thinks she can do what she wants.

ColinCaterpillarsNo1Fan · 19/06/2025 23:26

Happyfeet82 · 19/06/2025 22:00

For context, my notice period is until 30th June

On the 30th June at 4:55pm email the video and an exit email to the CEO, HR & that person's line manager. Then shut down your computer and walk out, whatever happens as a result of the email is none of your concern.

assertiveplant · 19/06/2025 23:24

WillimNot · 19/06/2025 22:54

I think you should ensure you have a copy of the video and notes and I would see a solicitor or phone ACAS. 3 weeks or 3 decades, leaving due to it being toxic enough to effect your MH and then comments that are bullying and and constitute a personal attack I would want to take it further.

What a disgusting person!

On what legal basis would you take it further? For what objective? The fact it's only been 3 weeks is highly relevant.

Just walk away and move on.