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Original poster

For telling my bf i don’t want to visit my cousin on our vacation?

39 replies

Millijille · 19/06/2025 20:14

My bf got really well along with my cousin last year when we visited him on our holiday, He lives in spain where we are heading this year to because we didn’t get to do everything we wanted to last year. Problem is that i got stunged like crazy by mosquito’s in the place he lives since its more up the hills where those damn tiger mosquitos where everywhere.. my legs where hurting at least for a week by itching.. and not to say that last time my cousin also invited a friend with a pretty big untrained dog that scratched my legs, arms.. so im just not that thrilled i told my bf. I could go for like a day out a restaurant or a beach with cousin and his gf. But he implies it was soooo nice to spend a whole day at his place, because he would want to spend a whole day with them that it was the best day of the whole vacation, im an introvert and don’t like hanging around people to long.. i said yea for u but for me it wasn’t. Plus taxi or buss barely go where my cousin lives. Making it a pain to get back to the hotel. Im not close with my cousin.

OP posts:
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ThereIsThunderInOurHearts · 21/06/2025 09:45

Goody2ShoesAndTheFilthyBeast · 20/06/2025 22:30

Did he develop a crush on your cousin or something?

But seriously, it's out of order for him to invite himself to your cousin's place. What if your cousin doesn't want you guys there?

I was thinking maybe the girlfriend...

@Millijille did he pay particular attention to the girlfriend? Has he mentioned her at all since meeting them both?

SleepingisanArt · 21/06/2025 09:25

Let him go and visit uour cousin. You stay at the hotel, go to the pool, visit the local town etc and have a chill day. You both get to do something you prefer and then maybe you'll enjoy the rest of your holiday together.

Shinyandnew1 · 21/06/2025 08:31

i told him i can go by myself while he can go chill. But that was a no «because what if someting happends?

What if something happens to who?!

This is all sounding really weird-why does he need to see your cousin so much?!

Devianinc · 20/06/2025 23:52

Just tell him that you got in touch with your cousin and he won’t be available while you’re traveling there. It’s weird that he’s pushing it so hard to be honest. What gives, like why?

Beeinalily · 20/06/2025 23:16

Interesting...

ninjahamster · 20/06/2025 22:36

Beeinalily · 20/06/2025 09:39

Not to derail, but I never get bitten by mosquitoes, and I'm B negative - do they really have preferred types?
Back to the subject in hand, would it be possible for your bf to go there and for you to have a spa day or a shopping trip OP? Also... Does your cousin get a say in this?

I don’t get bitten much either. Also B-

Goody2ShoesAndTheFilthyBeast · 20/06/2025 22:30

Did he develop a crush on your cousin or something?

But seriously, it's out of order for him to invite himself to your cousin's place. What if your cousin doesn't want you guys there?

fount · 20/06/2025 18:11

I'd refuse outright. Make it clear this is non-negotiable. It's your family, not his, and your bf is being a jerk to insist. If he wants to go alone for the day, assuming your cousin doesn't mind, that's his choice, but I wouldn't go if I didn't want to.

Original poster
Millijille · 20/06/2025 15:13

@DestituteDesperate nope they don’t. Just beers and chillings at pool. I think the only accsess is me not being able to go shopping haha but i told him i can go by myself while he can go chill. But that was a no «because what if someting happends?» ugh. I honestly rather have some drinks by the pool hotel where there aren’t as many mosquitos and epsecially tiger mosquitos.

OP posts:
BoredZelda · 20/06/2025 10:53

Let him go visit, you have a quiet day where your hotel is.

sueelleker · 20/06/2025 10:44

MauriceTheMussel · 19/06/2025 22:18

It’s your cousin, and I think it’s frigging weird your bf is the one sort of reaching for him, IYSWIM?

Is it that your BF thinks it's a cheap holiday?

DestituteDesperate · 20/06/2025 10:16

This might sound outrageous but does your cousin or boyfriend partake in anything illegal?

sorry to clarify - why is he so insistent on going there, can he gain access to something whilst there that would be harder to do in a public setting?

Zanzara · 20/06/2025 09:52

Guavafish1 · 20/06/2025 02:05

I wouldn’t go it your sensitive to mosquitoes bits… maybe you can visit in the morning and make pre booked taxi to bring you back before dusk!

Edited

Sadly, that won't help you with the tiger mosquitoes, as if they weren't already bad enough, they operate 24/7. 😱🦟

We encountered them in 2018 on the Costa Blanca, a particularly bumper year for them. Their bites are vicious, and many people had to go to hospital with them that summer. My husband had to keep going outside one night to check on an ambulance that was coming for me, and he got bitten over a hundred times. They can carry quite a few nasty diseases.

We were considering buying a villa in the Costa Benissa that summer, but after our experiences we abondoned that idea.

Here are the little stripey-socked varmints:

https://www.theolivepress.es/spain-news/tag/tiger-mosquito/

https://euroweeklynews.com/2025/06/03/28-million-tiger-mosquitos-deliberately-released-in-elche/

Miguel Barrachina releasing thousands of Tiger mosquitos.

28 million Tiger Mosquitos released in Elche

The Valencian regional government has achieved an 80 per cent reduction in the tiger mosquito population using an innovative sterile male release technique

https://euroweeklynews.com/2025/06/03/28-million-tiger-mosquitos-deliberately-released-in-elche/

MauriceTheMussel · 20/06/2025 09:40

They can smell something on certain people. If you drink tonic water (which has quinine), they will generally avoid you

Beeinalily · 20/06/2025 09:39

Not to derail, but I never get bitten by mosquitoes, and I'm B negative - do they really have preferred types?
Back to the subject in hand, would it be possible for your bf to go there and for you to have a spa day or a shopping trip OP? Also... Does your cousin get a say in this?

healthybychristmas · 20/06/2025 09:21

I don't really like your boyfriend! I don't think he sounds very nice at all.

Sassybooklover · 20/06/2025 09:06

It seems very odd that your boyfriend is pushing to visit your cousin's home in Spain, when he's only met him once and you're not particularly close to your cousin. You've compromised and suggested meeting in a neutral place, away from your cousin's home, so you don't get bitten by tiger mosquitoes. Yet, your boyfriend is still insisting on visiting your cousin's home!!! Bizarre. I would tell your boyfriend straight, no to going to your cousin's home, you are not prepared to be bitten again. It's selfish of him to be putting you in a position, he knows you're not comfortable with. Your well-being comes before his desire to see your cousin!! The fact he doesn't see that, or is ignoring it, is not very nice and doesn't put him in a very good light.

Original poster
Millijille · 20/06/2025 08:45

@Lurkingandlearning

i was thinking like all the other fun things we did togheter and explore places and hanging at my cousins home was the BEST vacation day??? Really? Got me a bit baffled there. Like sure it was nice to see cousing after a long time i guess? But it dosen’t top for me after all the other things we did togheter.
the hotel we where staying at had a WAY bigger pool and this hotel we staying at this year to has a huge pool aqtually 2 big pools. Nah i haven’t seen those traits in other places.
If im honest i don’t really wanna «waste» a whole vacation day at my cousins place when theres so much to explore.. feels like he can’t just have fun with me on vacation that he sees my cousin as a buddy just after meeting him once.

OP posts:
candycane222 · 20/06/2025 07:17

Your boyfriend doesn't sound very nice OP. He seems selfish.

sashh · 20/06/2025 07:08

Millijille · 20/06/2025 02:27

@steff13 Im blood type O meaning mosquitos favorite bufe😭

I'm A- but they love me too.

I shared a bed with a bed in Mauritius with my then bf. I was covered in bites (yes we did use a net) he stayed an extra week, same bed, same net and only then did he get bitten.

OP

Stick to you guns but also get some insect repellent with deet in it.

Lurkingandlearning · 20/06/2025 04:40

If the day you got hurt was the best day of his holiday, he is incredibly selfish and doesn’t care about your wellbeing. As your cousin’s house has a pool and maybe nice views as it is in the mountains, I can see the appeal but it’s not a tourist attraction that he can just book a trip to. It clearly isn’t your cousin that he wants to see or he would be happy with your perfectly good compromise. He is a user, it seems, as well as selfish and uncaring. Do those traits show up in other aspects of your life?

steff13 · 20/06/2025 03:24

Millijille · 20/06/2025 02:27

@steff13 Im blood type O meaning mosquitos favorite bufe😭

Yeah, same. I'm O-, and if I'm around everyone else in the vicinity is safe. 😒

Original poster
Millijille · 20/06/2025 03:15

@Goody2ShoesAndTheFilthyBeast cousin dosen’t even know we going since i don’t talk to him. He reached out to me last time because i posted something. I aqtually had no plans for visiting this year or at least haven’t tought of it

OP posts:
Goody2ShoesAndTheFilthyBeast · 20/06/2025 02:55

Has your cousin invited the two of you or has your boyfriend just invited himself?

Original poster
Millijille · 20/06/2025 02:48

@Rayqueen Yikes! Not a fun vacay at all.. but sadly many people can react very bad to those bites ruining the vacation a bit or whole vacation:/ I was lucky i didn’t have to go to hospital but the itchyness and big bite lumps where no joke.. and even how much my bf liked my cousin theres no f way i want to go trough that shi again. Since we where at a hotel down the city/beach there wasn’t as many mosquitoes there.

OP posts: