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AIBU?

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Should skirt length matter in secondary schools?

463 replies

Holdonforsummer · 19/06/2025 19:10

My daughter is 15 and in Year 10, she attends an all-girls comprehensive secondary school and they are obsessed with the girls’ skirt length. The skirt is like a tartan kilt and is supposed to be ‘on the knee’ but most of the girls roll their skirts to make them a bit shorter (think mid-thigh). I’m a bit on the fence about this but her school go on and on and on about it. They stop girls all the time, give detentions for short skirts, have assemblies about it, and have even been known to measure skirts and give girls long ones from the list property cupboard to wear instead. Yesterday, my daughter had just finished 5 hours of mock exams in 28 degrees and was walking home - outside school property - and was stopped by a teacher threatening detention even though she had left school. She came home furious and fed up of the whole thing. I can’t decide whether the girls just need to toe the line or whether behaviour from the school is bordering on a sexist, misogynistic obsession. YABU: the pupils need to obey the skirt rules, YANBU: The school should calm down and stop obsessing about skirt length.

OP posts:
CorbyTrouserPress · 20/06/2025 17:56

raffegiraffe · 20/06/2025 16:25

To answer the Aibu..
No, it shouldn't matter it all. It's the fault of the patriarchy and it focuses too much on girls as sexual objects who need to cover up. Bonkers. I support my daughter to wear her skirt however she wants

Even if her underwear is on show?

ArtTheClownIsNotAMime · 20/06/2025 17:45

Wdfssda · 20/06/2025 17:37

Exactly. I would expect that even the most well behaved boys would look. I'd expect however them definitely not to touch, take pics (very illegal) or say crude remarks.

I saw a teenage school girl's knickers just this week, her skirt didn't cover them. I can safely say I was in no way wanting to see a child's underwear and certainly didn't find it sexual... just very sad.

Wdfssda · 20/06/2025 17:43

Why do people think it's okay to dress inappropriately at school? We wouldn't be okay with boys purposely sagging school trousers would we?

Ddakji · 20/06/2025 17:40

raffegiraffe · 20/06/2025 17:35

They are. They are being made to wear really quite long skirts so they don't distract men and boys. But their PE skorts show their buttocks when they run around public places doing cross country. Completely stupid. If the skirts were a normal length they wouldn't do this. And they will be completely fine when they go to college or work without ridiculous extremes and mixed messages. Measuring my daughter's skirt length is creepy

You are such a help to the creepy, pervy men who like to letch over young girls. And no, that isn’t me saying that their clothing is a reason or an excuse for those men.

How are girls being liberated by wearing tiny skirts that show their underwear (clues in the name)?

okydokethen · 20/06/2025 17:37

@raffegiraffecouldn't agree more!

Wdfssda · 20/06/2025 17:37

DoraSpenlow · 20/06/2025 16:57

Expecting adolescent boys not to look at girls' bum cheeks or underwear when they are blatantly on show is like expecting an ice cube not to melt in this weather. You would rather it didn't happen but it's going to.

Edited

Exactly. I would expect that even the most well behaved boys would look. I'd expect however them definitely not to touch, take pics (very illegal) or say crude remarks.

raffegiraffe · 20/06/2025 17:35

saraclara · 20/06/2025 16:30

They're not being asked to "cover up". They're being prevented from showing their bum cheeks and the gussets of their pants.

They are overtly sending a sexual signal, and school is no place for that.

They are. They are being made to wear really quite long skirts so they don't distract men and boys. But their PE skorts show their buttocks when they run around public places doing cross country. Completely stupid. If the skirts were a normal length they wouldn't do this. And they will be completely fine when they go to college or work without ridiculous extremes and mixed messages. Measuring my daughter's skirt length is creepy

LochKatrine · 20/06/2025 17:13

Needmorelego · 20/06/2025 17:06

That's depressing to hear.
Obviously not all schools/teenage girls are the same.
You're right - it probably does happen but the teen girls I know it generally doesn't.

Yes, not all the teens I teach behave this way either, fortunately!

Needmorelego · 20/06/2025 17:06

LochKatrine · 20/06/2025 16:20

They really, really do!

That's depressing to hear.
Obviously not all schools/teenage girls are the same.
You're right - it probably does happen but the teen girls I know it generally doesn't.

ERthree · 20/06/2025 17:03

unsync · 19/06/2025 19:37

It's good preparation for adult life. Many workplaces have dress rules. Laws are rules. She needs to learn about picking her battles. This is not a hill on which to die.

A couple of uniform rules from my day were not removing shoes when on the school playing field during break and not brushing your hair when on the school service (in uniform). Absolute nonsense, but rigidly enforced.

Gosh your school was easy street. We weren't allowed to remove our blazer and tie unless we were in PE , home economics or metal/woodwork. We had to sit in soaking wet blazers during the winter or melt in them during the summer. Girls were not allowed to wear trousers and nobody was allowed to wear a raincoat over their blazer.

ERthree · 20/06/2025 16:58

It is not about the length of the skirt, it is about refusing to follow rules. If allowed to break this rule with your consent what will be the next rule she will want to break? If you don't like a clubs rules join another one, move your daughter to a school that allows pupils to wear whatever they want and do whatever they like.
Whilst in uniform your daughter is part of the school.

DoraSpenlow · 20/06/2025 16:57

Expecting adolescent boys not to look at girls' bum cheeks or underwear when they are blatantly on show is like expecting an ice cube not to melt in this weather. You would rather it didn't happen but it's going to.

LochKatrine · 20/06/2025 16:55

Ddakji · 20/06/2025 16:52

I don’t think you’ve been defensive at all and it sounds like a total pain in the arse situation that’s detracting from what you’re there to do - teach. Those parents sound awful. Though I think this must be a geographic/demographic/cultural thing as round here sixth formers are in baggy jeans most of the time.

Thank you so much 🙏! It's a massive problem and I can't tell you the hours that have gone into this.

Ddakji · 20/06/2025 16:52

LochKatrine · 20/06/2025 16:48

Ok. @ArtTheClownIsNotAMime , Maybe don't say obvious things about "grades aren't everything".
We know this.

Edited

I don’t think you’ve been defensive at all and it sounds like a total pain in the arse situation that’s detracting from what you’re there to do - teach. Those parents sound awful. Though I think this must be a geographic/demographic/cultural thing as round here sixth formers are in baggy jeans most of the time.

ArtTheClownIsNotAMime · 20/06/2025 16:51

LochKatrine · 20/06/2025 16:48

Ok. @ArtTheClownIsNotAMime , Maybe don't say obvious things about "grades aren't everything".
We know this.

Edited

Um, you brought them up as a defence of your awful school.

LochKatrine · 20/06/2025 16:48

Ok. @ArtTheClownIsNotAMime , Maybe don't say obvious things about "grades aren't everything".
We know this.

LochKatrine · 20/06/2025 16:47

Clearly, many, many parents are happy to buy very short skirts for their daughters and even the micro tube skirts. We are battling parents who will defend this, and other issues.
I'd get rid of uniform altogether if it was up to me, but then again 6th form girls come in boob tubes and micro shorts, so......

ArtTheClownIsNotAMime · 20/06/2025 16:45

LochKatrine · 20/06/2025 16:44

We know this. We are working hard on it. However, there are parents who pamper their daughters and will tolerate no criticism and think teachers are picking on them. It is a challenge, we are trying various strategies.

Okay. Maybe don't get defensive then.

LochKatrine · 20/06/2025 16:44

ArtTheClownIsNotAMime · 20/06/2025 16:42

Grades aren't everything are they? It's clearly an awful environment for the girls outside that clique.

We know this. We are working hard on it. However, there are parents who pamper their daughters and will tolerate no criticism and think teachers are picking on them. It is a challenge, we are trying various strategies.

Toooldtopretend · 20/06/2025 16:43

The girls wear trousers at my kids school. I have to say that they look much smarter than the rolled up skirts I see from other schools.

ArtTheClownIsNotAMime · 20/06/2025 16:42

LochKatrine · 20/06/2025 16:40

It's not an awful school. We got a really good Ofsted and the results are great. However
.There is a prevalent culture among some girls who have plenty of money for personal grooming and parents who allow the mini tube skirts. Yes, a lot of work is being done, but we do not have many parents on side.

Grades aren't everything are they? It's clearly an awful environment for the girls outside that clique.

Wdfssda · 20/06/2025 16:42

LittleMG · 20/06/2025 16:32

If you can wear it to a smart office you should be ok for school. Girls need to know that there are certain standards in life if you want to be respected. Outside school do whatever you like, inside school rules apply.

Exactly. At DS's school boys would get wedgied if their boxers were sticking out.

LochKatrine · 20/06/2025 16:42

Wdfssda · 20/06/2025 16:41

I feel I was too dismissive. This hasn't happened to my DC though. I assume they'd say something about "nun" or "frigid". Teachers should tackle the bullying and girls should stand their ground for confirming to school regulation.

We do tackle it. We work hard on this, but not every parent is supportive.

Wdfssda · 20/06/2025 16:41

LochKatrine · 20/06/2025 16:31

They call them names, laugh at them. We've had sanctions for eyebrow bullying and eyelash bullying (some girls don't get either done). So yes, they're very judgemental on others' appearance.

I feel I was too dismissive. This hasn't happened to my DC though. I assume they'd say something about "nun" or "frigid". Teachers should tackle the bullying and girls should stand their ground for confirming to school regulation.

LochKatrine · 20/06/2025 16:40

ArtTheClownIsNotAMime · 20/06/2025 16:38

What an awful school. Is anything being done to help the girls with their self image and self worth?

It's not an awful school. We got a really good Ofsted and the results are great. However
.There is a prevalent culture among some girls who have plenty of money for personal grooming and parents who allow the mini tube skirts. Yes, a lot of work is being done, but we do not have many parents on side.