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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think this nurse was unprofessional?

383 replies

ThisCoolOP · 19/06/2025 17:06

So I went for an appointment at my GP surgery to try and verify the accuracy of two home blood pressure monitors we have in our house. The two monitors give virtually identical readings to each other for everyone in our family - but for my sister one reads 10 - 15 points lower than the other on thr systolic number.

During the appointment, my sister attempted to explain the situation and that she wanted to compare both machines against a manual reading. The nurse immediately told her to "just bin" one of the machines without any attempt to even compare it

The nurse then proceeded to only check one of the machines (the one that reads lower). When the machine displayed a reading of 150/100, she then performed a "manual check" and literally immediately stated "yeah 150/100". Might be just me, but this rapid confirmation seems like the nurse was simply just re-stating the reading she had seen on the machines screen (literally told me her reading was the exact same number) rather than conducting a genuine, independent manual verification. Her pre-judgement of which machine was correct was evident from the beginning, as she refused to consider checking the second machine, despite my clear explanation of the discrepancy of both machines for me, but identical readings for the rest of the family

As a result, I was left in the exact same position I was in before the appointment. I actually suffer from anxiety and came back in tears at how sharp and unhelpful she had been, and because it seemed she had made her mind up there and then she was only checking one machine and that was the correct one (despite them giving the same readings for everyone else), i don't trust what she told me at all

OP posts:
ThisCoolOP · 19/06/2025 23:04

Flashahah · 19/06/2025 22:50

OP AIBU

MN YES

OP No, I’m not and I will keep adding stuff and drip feeding until you say IANBU!

You'll keep drip feeding stuff until I say I am not being unreasonable? Sorry, don't understand?

OP posts:
Flashahah · 19/06/2025 22:50

OP AIBU

MN YES

OP No, I’m not and I will keep adding stuff and drip feeding until you say IANBU!

ThisCoolOP · 19/06/2025 22:19

Impatient6227 · 19/06/2025 22:12

I didn't excuse any nasty comments OP. I was replying to a post from a PP and simply pointing out it was a waste of time for everyone as you still dont trust the conclusion from the nurse.

Aww, no problem :) it really was a waste of time and I so wish it hadn't been as I'd love to be here now with trust in what she said

But it was the fact she told me to bin one of the machines, before she even checked the accuracy of either machine. Basically chose which one she was testing and to bin the other. Then told me the one she had chosen to test was correct, just really seemed like she had pre made her mind up

And not the first to have had problems with her. I know others in the area who won't see her now because she talks over them and hasn't listened properly to them etc

Lots of others in the surgery are so lovely, and you have full confidence in what they say. But this nurse just zero confidence at all that she hadn't just told me the same number of the screen because she made her mind up in the beginning

OP posts:
ThisCoolOP · 19/06/2025 22:15

Digdongdoo · 19/06/2025 22:11

Make a complaint then.

Part of me wants to, as she shouldn't be telling people to bin machines before she's even bothered checking them, which then gives the impression she's just pre made her mind up

And she's the only one I've ever felt like making a complaint about. Every other one has been so lovely

And tbh, I know i' not the only one has felt that with this particular nurse. I know others who won't see her now because she talks over them and doesn't listen properly. She told me to bin the machine while I was still trying to explain

And honestly, i know how hard they work so would never make a complaint lightly. Never ever felt the need to make a complaint before, the majority are so lovely and helpful

OP posts:
Impatient6227 · 19/06/2025 22:12

ThisCoolOP · 19/06/2025 22:06

Again, that doesn't excuse all the nasty comments from people on this thread saying my behaviour is disgusting and they can't get an appointment because of "people like me"

I didnt book it myself, I asked for advice on our online portal and a healthcare assistant booked the appointment. I did not ask for it

I didn't excuse any nasty comments OP. I was replying to a post from a PP and simply pointing out it was a waste of time for everyone as you still dont trust the conclusion from the nurse.

Digdongdoo · 19/06/2025 22:11

ThisCoolOP · 19/06/2025 22:11

Tbh, no she didnt prove i have an accurate machine at all as I think she just tead the reading back to me she had seen on the screen as she had made her mind up at the start that was the correct one. As proved by her telling me to bin one of them before she'd even checked either

Make a complaint then.

ThisCoolOP · 19/06/2025 22:11

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 19/06/2025 22:07

But since she did get the same reading from the machine she tested as from the surgery’s machine, she was right about that, wasn’t she, @ThisCoolOP?

Regardless of whether she had made up her mind ahead of time, she did demonstrate that you do have a BP machine that is giving accurate readings - hopefully that should set your mind at rest.

Tbh, no she didnt prove i have an accurate machine at all as I think she just tead the reading back to me she had seen on the screen as she had made her mind up at the start that was the correct one. As proved by her telling me to bin one of them before she'd even checked either

OP posts:
ThisCoolOP · 19/06/2025 22:09

Impatient6227 · 19/06/2025 22:04

Absolutely important to have accurate readings, easily established by going to a pharmacy and not taking up an appointment.

I can quite conclusively say it WAS a wasted appointment given OP doesn't believe the nurse when she confirmed manual vs BP machine, or do you disagree?

Also, this nurse told me to bin one of the machines before she had even checked either one of them. Pre made her mind up she was only going to check the one she chose

Had she not have told me to one before even checking either one, I'd have been more confident

OP posts:
SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 19/06/2025 22:07

ThisCoolOP · 19/06/2025 21:55

Her advice to bin the other was before she had checked either machine though, which makes me think she had already pre made her mind up which was accurate

But since she did get the same reading from the machine she tested as from the surgery’s machine, she was right about that, wasn’t she, @ThisCoolOP?

Regardless of whether she had made up her mind ahead of time, she did demonstrate that you do have a BP machine that is giving accurate readings - hopefully that should set your mind at rest.

ThisCoolOP · 19/06/2025 22:06

Impatient6227 · 19/06/2025 22:04

Absolutely important to have accurate readings, easily established by going to a pharmacy and not taking up an appointment.

I can quite conclusively say it WAS a wasted appointment given OP doesn't believe the nurse when she confirmed manual vs BP machine, or do you disagree?

Again, that doesn't excuse all the nasty comments from people on this thread saying my behaviour is disgusting and they can't get an appointment because of "people like me"

I didnt book it myself, I asked for advice on our online portal and a healthcare assistant booked the appointment. I did not ask for it

OP posts:
Impatient6227 · 19/06/2025 22:04

Rosscameasdoody · 19/06/2025 20:57

Why Do you not think it important to have an accurate BP reading, given the consequences of it remaining high ? Do you not think the nurse thought it significant and that’s why the appointment was given ?

Absolutely important to have accurate readings, easily established by going to a pharmacy and not taking up an appointment.

I can quite conclusively say it WAS a wasted appointment given OP doesn't believe the nurse when she confirmed manual vs BP machine, or do you disagree?

ThisCoolOP · 19/06/2025 22:02

RaspberryPavlovaPlease · 19/06/2025 21:59

Well, step away. You're not achieving anything.

There are some people actually nice on the thread though who have totally understood and got exactly where I am coming from, I'll just reply to them and ignore the nasty comments instead

OP posts:
ThisCoolOP · 19/06/2025 22:00

RaspberryPavlovaPlease · 19/06/2025 21:59

Behaving like this and getting so worked up is not helping your BP.

Come off the web, buy another machine ( 3 are unlikely to all be wrong) and put it down to experience. In other words, chill a bit.

Behaving like this? I'm replying putting people straight who are making out I booked the appointment myself. Not going to sit back and let people say my behaviour is disgusting and people say they can't get appointments because of "people like me" when i wasnt the one who even asked for the appointment!

OP posts:
RaspberryPavlovaPlease · 19/06/2025 21:59

ThisCoolOP · 19/06/2025 21:58

Others harsh nasty comments are the issue. All implying my disgusting behaviour for an appointment i didnt even book myself! :(

Edited

Well, step away. You're not achieving anything.

RaspberryPavlovaPlease · 19/06/2025 21:59

ThisCoolOP · 19/06/2025 21:58

Please read properly. I didn't "get past the receptionist" I didnt phone or get in touch with any receptionist as comments on here are implying! I messaged for advice using our online portal, a healthcare assistant then booked the appointment and told me to take both machines in to be checked. So didnt ask for the appointment myself or "get past the receptionist"

Behaving like this and getting so worked up is not helping your BP.

Come off the web, buy another machine ( 3 are unlikely to all be wrong) and put it down to experience. In other words, chill a bit.

ThisCoolOP · 19/06/2025 21:58

RaspberryPavlovaPlease · 19/06/2025 21:57

OP instead of raising everyone's BP who's reading put this down to experience, buy another BP monitor and compare the 3.

You're wasting energy on this.

Others harsh nasty comments are the issue. All implying my disgusting behaviour for an appointment i didnt even book myself! :(

OP posts:
ThisCoolOP · 19/06/2025 21:58

LilWoosmum82 · 19/06/2025 21:54

I would have told you to go to the manufacturer with the machines and asked them to check them over. A Nurse is not a machine technician. We do not calibrate blood pressure machines, im shocked you got past the receptionist to make the appointment.

Please read properly. I didn't "get past the receptionist" I didnt phone or get in touch with any receptionist as comments on here are implying! I messaged for advice using our online portal, a healthcare assistant then booked the appointment and told me to take both machines in to be checked. So didnt ask for the appointment myself or "get past the receptionist"

OP posts:
RaspberryPavlovaPlease · 19/06/2025 21:57

ThisCoolOP · 19/06/2025 21:55

Her advice to bin the other was before she had checked either machine though, which makes me think she had already pre made her mind up which was accurate

OP instead of raising everyone's BP who's reading put this down to experience, buy another BP monitor and compare the 3.

You're wasting energy on this.

RaspberryPavlovaPlease · 19/06/2025 21:56

LilWoosmum82 · 19/06/2025 21:54

I would have told you to go to the manufacturer with the machines and asked them to check them over. A Nurse is not a machine technician. We do not calibrate blood pressure machines, im shocked you got past the receptionist to make the appointment.

OP filled in an online form with her BP readings and was called in to check.

You can't just 'go to the manufacturers' - as if!
You'll save time and energy spending £20 online and buying new ones.

ThisCoolOP · 19/06/2025 21:55

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 19/06/2025 21:40

If I understand you correctly, @ThisCoolOP, the nurse checked one of your BP machines against the surgery’s one, and found yours was giving the same result as hers. So you can be sure that that one is measuring accurately, which is what you needed to know. Given that, her advice to throw the other one away seems logical to me.

Her advice to bin the other was before she had checked either machine though, which makes me think she had already pre made her mind up which was accurate

OP posts:
RaspberryPavlovaPlease · 19/06/2025 21:54

Rhinohides · 19/06/2025 21:44

You were lucky she considered your no machine at all.
As a nurse I won’t get involved with home no kits, just tell folks I can only use the ones verified by my employer.
And yes, as previous people have said, BP varies from moment moment. This would be the case if you were concerned about 1 reading it would potentially be visible in the next.

she wasn't 'lucky'. More and more places tell people to test at home to avoid white coat syndrome.

I've got family members seeing cardiologists and even they suggest home monitoring.

Surprised you query this.

LilWoosmum82 · 19/06/2025 21:54

I would have told you to go to the manufacturer with the machines and asked them to check them over. A Nurse is not a machine technician. We do not calibrate blood pressure machines, im shocked you got past the receptionist to make the appointment.

RaspberryPavlovaPlease · 19/06/2025 21:53

Buy a 3rd machine.

Two will give similar readings and one will be very different.

Bear in mind that readings vary and can reduce within 15 mins, so do 3 tests one after the other, and take the average.

Rhinohides · 19/06/2025 21:44

You were lucky she considered your no machine at all.
As a nurse I won’t get involved with home no kits, just tell folks I can only use the ones verified by my employer.
And yes, as previous people have said, BP varies from moment moment. This would be the case if you were concerned about 1 reading it would potentially be visible in the next.

YinYangalang · 19/06/2025 21:42

Buy a manual BP monitor and stethoscope and do manual readings yourself.