8 year old has to stay in to study

Honestly, I think it is the OP that's being unpleasant about this other family. We have no reason to feel sad for the boy, who may be absolutely fine. We don't have to feel sorry for him simply because his parents don't follow the OP's approach to parenting.

Wha...what is going on in this thread? Really aggressive & sneering attacks - genuinely nasty. Always shocks me when this happens, it's totally unwarranted!

Everyone feeling a bit hot & irritable & being all unnecessary?

OP - I agree with you. He's 8. Sounds to me like you've got a lovely cul-de-sac community going on there with happy children in it & it IS a shame if his sadness is a result of his parents pushing too hard.

Exactly. But we have no reason to believe that it is superior, it's just different.

You wanted everyone to agree that your way of parenting is superior to theirs.

My 9yo unless at scheduled sport activities each week would sit and play video games too rather than go out playing in the street....
My 8yo prefers being outdoors.

Are you sure about that?! Maybe she is at school and he doesn't then want to go out when she is constantly knocking at the door.
As I said you are thinking they should be friends and wanting to play as they go to the same school, but that doesn't mean they are in the same friendship group.
Also they are at the age where boys tend to want to play with boys and girls with girls.

But he’s 8, so he doesn’t make the decisions. He sounds like he has a well rounded life. Values education, sports, friends. You said he often played with your child, so he’s not kept chained to the desk.

People can raise their kids how they like. I wouldnt want my child out playing every evening, they have clubs and otherwise it’s nice to chill at home with family sometimes.

Maybe they don’t want your child round their house anymore. I love kids but im shattered after work and would hate another child here, being loud and annoying (as all kids that age are).

Op you really are not accepting that other people may not like this set up at all and that other ways to parent are also valid and perfectly fine.
I really would hate this. You called me a snob becuase I didnt agree with you. You mentioned you are middle middle class and also implied I wasn't educated.
I really can not fathom why this other family does not want to engage???

Maybe they feel your child is a bad influence

None of your business

Jesus, I give up. You either reply in one word answers or just give inaccurate information. Haven’t you ever heard of the past tense?

No wonder this whole thread doesn’t make any sense.

I’d focus on your own communication skills before worrying about anyone else.

Guilty of the phone example 😂

I don't think they are being micro managed. If anything it sounds like the child might not have much to do at the weekend if it's just mum home and they don't go out. However this doesn't mean they aren't having fun at home. Maybe they do baking at home, help cook dinner, play board games.

I also think that as others have said there may be reasons the parents don't want them playing with children from the other houses. My own suggestion being not wanting to invite them back. But it could also be friendship issues where actually they feel @Swimmingwithoutfloats DD is quite bossy and always insisting that they play together when actually they have other friends who don't live on this street.

We have no idea whether to feel sad for him or not. As the above poster has said if you have safeguarding concerns then talk to the school.
He might be living the life of Riley at home with toys galore and allowed to do all sorts of things. You are putting your own spin on it with no idea what goes on in their home.

I don't think the @Swimmingwithoutfloats sounds judgemental. I think a lot of the responses do.

People need to chill a bit more. What's wrong with a bit of spontaneity? I reckon these are the mumsnetters who never answer the door or the phone.

A child's life doesn't need to be micromanaged to the nth degree. It isn't healthy.

The other boy's family might feel that it's a bit sad for your dc to miss out on some of the stuff that they think is important. So what? They aren't your dd's parents and it isn't their decision.

No, it isn't sad for the boy that his parents do things differently from you. Your way is not the only way.

If you have specific concerns about his wellbeing, then flag these with the school or social services so that they can investigate. If not, then respect the fact that his parents have a right to follow their own instincts with regard to the best way of parenting their children, and accept the fact that you don't necessarily know best.

I’m going to go against the grain here. I’ve been accused of being some mental tiger mum on these boards because I give my child extra work to do most days (half and hour to an hour for a 6yr old) etc and also for making her very tired because she does clubs 6 days a week (she loves them and she’s an extremely active person).

BUT I would have chucked mine out for a play, work ethic and discipline are very important to me but friendship and fun are important for mental health.

I think it’s sad, there should always be time for a play, even if it’s half an hour.

The thing is, as parents, we make choices for our children which are based on what we consider to be best for them. Sometimes, that might include making choices not to allow things that might - at least in the short term - make them happy. For example, many parents might say no to a child eating ice cream every time the child asks for one, because they don't believe that it's in the child's best interests to agree, even though saying "yes" would make the child happy in that moment.

You might believe that it would be in the best interests of this child to let him play with your dc whenever she calls, but for whatever reason, his parents feel differently. And that is their prerogative. It doesn't mean that they're wrong and you're right, or vice versa. It just means that you are making different judgments based on your own assessments of what matters most.

But in your OP you say that your DD and this boy “often play together” at the weekends.

OP why have you posted in AIBU when it’s evident that there is no doubt in your mind about your rightness on this? You’re convinced your way is right and theirs is wrong.