Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask for your opinions on how to organise WFH spaces?

83 replies

Trifficultly · 19/06/2025 11:13

DH and I both WFH. He is full time, I do 5.5 hours, 3 a week (16 hours total). He has a designated home office whilst I work in the house. It makes sense when he does more than double the number of hours, but as time goes on (we're now into the 5th year) not having a designated workspace is becoming increasingly irksome. I feel like I have considered all the options, but perhaps there's something I'm missing.

Options I've considered and the reasons they don't work:

  • Work from the master bedroom - no desk, no room for a desk, and in the summer it's stiflingly hot
  • Work from the kids room - has a desk, however it's increasingly untidy in there which makes it tough to focus. I'm trying to teach them to look after and clean their own spaces rather than me always doing it, which is a long and slow project. They've reached a point where they don't want me moving and messing with their things which I respect, but just kinda rules that out as a working space
  • Booking into a shared working space takes a bit percentage of my minuscule wage.
  • Make space in DH's office - we did try this but he often has confidential calls to make. Also he likes to chat, which when I have so few working hours I don't really have time for.
  • Moving and extensions are WAY out of our budget.

The two things I mostly do are:

  • Work from the kitchen table - though the chairs aren’t very comfortable. It’s a communal space, so my partner often comes in for coffee, lunch, or just to pass through en route to the bathroom etc, which, while fair, is distracting. I can’t exactly kick him out, but having him pottering around making lunch and cleaning up (better than not cleaning up!) or trying to chat about other things isn’t ideal when I’m trying to work. The kitchen is also often messy from breakfast, and even though I used to tidy it up before starting work, that’s fallen away over time with school runs and general life stuff. Five years in, we’ve lost that early motivation to keep things perfect. Have tried asking him his lunch schedule so I can also schedule mine for the same time, but it's often that he just grabs a lunch when he can. Not everything works to a schedule.
  • Work from the lounge - Working here means sitting on the couch, which isn’t great. I can blow up an exercise ball and balance a bit of wood between furniture to make a makeshift desk, but it all has to be set up and packed away each day. Since I’m usually squeezing work in around childcare, the kitchen wins out just because it’s less hassle. The lounge is often full of half-finished Lego and kids’ forts, which I love for a family space but not a working one!

It's one of those things where it kinda worked in lockdown, we muddled through, but I'm steadily realising this is our life and it doesn't look to be changing anytime soon. Will be needing a workspace for 5-6 hours 2-3 x a week for the next 5 years or so. Need to sort it out!

Wondering if the internet hive mind can see a solution I've missed.

OP posts:
Original poster
Trifficultly · 19/06/2025 22:05

@MagpiePi i I like the look of that desk, will look into that! It’s mainly me and my laptop, occasional paperwork, but something that’s quick and easy to fold down would be better than having to clear sides to put the shelf onto to make my makeshift desk.

@Bjorkdidit unfortunately his office is a 5 hour drive away, and my company doesn't have any offices at all.

@Shedmistress unfortunately there genuinely is no ‘out of the way’, we don’t even have a cupboard or anything to put things like the vacuum and the ironing board in. Under the stairs is home to the washing machine, there's definitely nowhere to stash a chair. It would have to be part of the standard dining room set. Will look into one like @SilenceInside suggested, which folds away. There’s no landing space either, we’re really packed in.

@ThePoshUns we do have a small bay in the lounge, which currently houses a cardboard toy shop, one of those colouring in ones, which I’ve moved a chair to accommodate (I figure it’s cardboard so it won’t last forever!). There's not room to swing a cat in there now, but would have been space for some sort of desk before the shop. I can already feel the comments about my needs being as valid as everyone else's and maybe the toy shop needs to vacate so momma can work. Feels fair. Amazing what a pep talk from internet strangers can do!

@MsFelicityLemon there are at least two! Neither of our employers have asked to see our home working stations at any point.

@nhsmanagersanonymous I can see what you mean about employers assuming we’d have this sorted, it feels like a reasonable assumption. I don’t think my desk has affected my output. If anything, not commuting and having flexibility has made me way more productive at work overall. It’s more my longterm posture I’m concerned about than my employer being concerned about my work ethic and output. It’s a very small charitable organisation, none of us have been provided with tech or any wfh equipment. We knew that when we signed up (which for me was during the pandemic, but I can’t imagine it was any different before covid). Appreciate it’s not ideal and there are probably way better offerings out there from more corporate environments, but I like my job. Just need to sort the working space out, which brought me to the hive mind.

@writingsonthewall exactly that, we kinda fell into a rhythm during lockdown (we were both full time then and had no childcare so we did have a rota as really only one person worked at once and the other had the kids) Then I changed jobs and had fewer hours and we kinda fell into this rhythm. As time has gone on its felt less ideal and now I want to do something about it.
I think this might be getting a little long to reply to everyone individually but I thank you kindly for those who have taken the time to ponder my problem.

Everyone who suggested DH be more considerate, you’re right. We’ve spoken about it, but it feels like we go around in circles. I bring it up, he apologises, he’s better for a while, then he starts again...usually because maybe one day he comes in and I am ready for a break so we have a chat or whatever, but then that repeats I get huffy, we have a chat about atmospheres in the house, I apologise, remind him about not being in my workspace during work time, he apologises, he’s better for a time….and repeat. He has to go past me to the loo, so him being in here really is unavoidable at least a few times a day even if he had a kettle in the office and didn’t otherwise leave (which doesn’t sound like a nice set up really. It's good to be able to move and have a break as someone said).

We did briefly make a space in the office for me, but I was like a jack in the box needing to leave when he had calls (some of which are spontaneous) and also there was very little space from one another living and working together. I think by that point we were so use to having our own space it was quite jarring to be sharing. Also I don’t think I’d do well being around one person that many hours of the day if we were working and living in the same space more then just occasionally, I enjoy the break. So it would be better for me to come up with a solution outside of the office, or a rota or maybe that room divider @NeedForSpeed shared.

He wears headphones, I don't. I never ever use them and haven't ever owned any (other than the ones which come free with things, which i don't use) so it is an alien concept to me really. It makes sense, just trying to justify why up until now it hasn't occurred to me that I would also benefit from headphones. I'm not sure when I lost so much of my confidence and personality to say what I need and make sure I get it. Somewhere in between kids and covid I guess.

I think for now I will be looking into ergonomic chairs and either a fold-down desk option for the lounge or something which can go in the bay window. Either way the shop will have to vacate. It was an unexpected gift, and it’s really cool, but it’s way too big for our space and this situation feels like it’s overdue a resolution.

Thank you all :)

OP posts:
user2848502016 · 19/06/2025 21:24

Any space in your hallway or landing for a small or foldaway desk?
Can DH do a couple of days in the office so you can use his office?
Do you have a local library you could work from, or a cafe for a couple of hours? If you took turns to do this you could use DHs office for part of the day.
Sharing his office is also worth another try, with strict boundaries in place about chatting, noise cancelling headphones, and either you leaving while he takes confidential calls or him taking them from another room

Needlenardlenoo · 19/06/2025 21:08

Your husband could also be more considerate of your need to work in peace (as your are of his).

It may be time to read A Room of One's Own!

writingsonthewall · 19/06/2025 19:09

I hear you. My husband and I both work at the kitchen table when we are wfh, luckily usually only on the same day once or twice a week. It drives me crazy. I’m going to move upstairs I think. We have room for a desk but it hasn’t bothered me really over the years since lockdown, but recently it really had been. Every time I go on a call, he seems to be on one too talking at the top of his voice. We both wear headphones but still Confused

BePinkOrca · 19/06/2025 18:47

We had a similar issue and I have moved around and settled on a desk in the bedroom
in end with a Dyson fan for hot days like today. I did however consider under the stairs so the hallway was my “office” the chair would only be in the walkway whilst I was physically working and under the space when I was not working. A permanent desk and office chair will do your body the world of good x squeeze a space into your house for your backs sake.

WhisperingTree · 19/06/2025 18:33

You share the office. It’s no different from being in the office. How confidential is the confidential bit? Is he using a head set?

Confusedbylifeingeneral · 19/06/2025 18:27

Ddakji · 19/06/2025 12:45

Well, quite. It’s not like lockdown where people had to make do (one of our youngsters was using his ironing board as a desk. Impressed that he had an ironing board, to be honest).

If you apply for a WFH or hybrid job, the assumption has to be there that you have a suitable workspace, just as I assume if it’s office based, that’ll also be suitable - I don’t send prospective employers some kind of checklist to complete before I consider their offer.

Show quote history

Well, arguably the employer has a legal duty under health and safety law to ensure that you have a suitable set up, so good luck to all those companies that merrily ignore this when the comp claims start coming in a few years down the line….

ETA thus isn’t only to @Ddakji , to be fair! Sorry to single you out, as it were. Others also seem to be saying same.

thrive25 · 19/06/2025 18:08

Also, if your kitchen chairs are not comfortable, I bought a back support (it’s called ‘back friend’, was £65) : it goes inside a normal chair and makes it much more supportive

That said, could your DH share his office with you - at least get him to do a day in your workspace to see what you are contending with!

thrive25 · 19/06/2025 18:05

CaptainSevenofNine · 19/06/2025 12:46

I have a secretary desk in the lounge. (A hideaway desk). My “commute” is setting up the desk and putting it away at the end of the day. I have a riser for my monitor and a proper chair.

^ this. I am about to start a new job which is 3 days in/2 at home

have given DP my office to WFH 5 days week and I will be choosing to go in for 4 days, then a foldaway desk (which I bought to get me through Covid) will be ok for Fridays, I’m happy with this as DP absolutely does not interrupt me during the working day

I would find space somewhere that’s not the kitchen, OR prep packed lunches for you both (DH can split this chore with you) so he is not in your space

Shove breakfast dishes in the sink vs proper clear up

Is there space for a kettle in the office too?

MiddleAgedDread · 19/06/2025 17:58

Ddakji · 19/06/2025 12:18

I don’t think my employer has ever stated any “required standards” for WFH!

Show quote history

Same here! We can get things like monitors and keyboards if we want them but no one has ever checked my home working set up. I’m sure many have set ups that are less than ideal and wouldn’t be acceptable in an office. I’ve had to move furniture around in the guest room to get a desk in. It’s less than ideal and a bit cramped but don’t really want to spend a 6 figure sum of money moving to somewhere with another bedroom. A lot of our graduates who house share go in the office 5 days a week because they don’t have space to wfh.

SheilaFentiman · 19/06/2025 17:56

They can arrange tea breaks and lunch breaks at mutually convenient times,

Have tried asking him his lunch schedule so I can also schedule mine for the same time, but it's often that he just grabs a lunch when he can. Not everything works to a schedule.

It is right there in the OP - she has asked him to schedule lunch but he can’t, he just grabs it when he can. I sympathise as my work is often like this, but it does mean taking steps not to be intrusive on each other.

InfoSecInTheCity · 19/06/2025 17:53

i have a corner set up in the lounge, I have a smaller than average desk and then a kallax tall unit that creates a kind of wall/partition between my desk and the rest of the lounge so that it feels like ‘my’ space even though it’s part of a communal room.

Is there any way you could rearrange the lounge or kitchen/dining room to section off a small corner.

There are loads of clever desk ideas that can turn almost any space into a desk, fold down ones that attach to the wall or one that close up into a cupboard, beds that can be converted into a desk during the day…

Ddakji · 19/06/2025 17:52

SheilaFentiman · 19/06/2025 17:33

Exactly this. He can make himself a packed lunch or pasta salad or whatever and stick it in a cool bag for his lunch. You are WORKING he doesn't get to come in and clatter about.

Show quote history

I don’t agree that he shouldn’t enter the kitchen - nothing wrong with getting up, moving around, change of scene and having a chat with another actual human being. But it needs to be respectful of her work. They can arrange tea breaks and lunch breaks at mutually convenient times, but also know that when he comes in to make tea, he’s not there for half an hour yapping.

Dbank · 19/06/2025 17:41

If your work doesn't require a lot of desk space, then could you consider finding space in the living room, and wall mount your monitor(s) and having a narrow shelf?

SheilaFentiman · 19/06/2025 17:33

CrepuscularCritter · 19/06/2025 13:35

I echo what a PP says about DH needing to be more considerate of your working environment. If I was working in the kitchen, I'd consider the need for DH to have a kettle and supplies in his office so he didn't keep disturbing me. I'd also think that he could take the equivalent of an office packed lunch there so you could concentrate in the kitchen. That would keep the interruptions down.

Exactly this. He can make himself a packed lunch or pasta salad or whatever and stick it in a cool bag for his lunch. You are WORKING he doesn't get to come in and clatter about.

justsaying2023 · 19/06/2025 15:52

As a DSE/workstation assessor I feel really bad for you, working on the couch etc. is going to impact your body and in turn your mental health (pain) I would suggest as others have that you set up a workstation in the office and if your husband needs confidentiality ( I work in HR so I appreciate that he does) then one of you can sit elsewhere while the call goes ahead, perhaps a rota if the calls are planned ahead?

pipsy76 · 19/06/2025 13:45

Hully pods look a good ready to go well priced option for home offices

WeaselsRising · 19/06/2025 13:40

I have a summerhouse in the garden that we had connected to the electrics. Can be a pain when the neighbour comes out singing but it certainly beats sitting in a high traffic area with people boiling kettles and setting off the dishwasher.

CrepuscularCritter · 19/06/2025 13:35

I echo what a PP says about DH needing to be more considerate of your working environment. If I was working in the kitchen, I'd consider the need for DH to have a kettle and supplies in his office so he didn't keep disturbing me. I'd also think that he could take the equivalent of an office packed lunch there so you could concentrate in the kitchen. That would keep the interruptions down.

LittleBitofBread · 19/06/2025 13:15

I think a foldaway desk in the living room, like MagpiePi suggests, would be best. And a decent office chair.
Or share the office and both wear headphones, for calls and just for if one of you wants total quiet.

karmakameleon · 19/06/2025 13:10

We share an office space. If I’m working from home DH tries to go into the office and vice versa. If that’s not possible we both do headphones for calls and if one of us has a confidential call we take it from another room. Neither of us has time to chat because we’re both busy and if one of us happens to be quiet they are doing the school pick and getting dinner on so they’re out of the study anyway.

AbzMoz · 19/06/2025 13:07

Definitely kitchen table and get yourself a proper office chair. Consider risers (or cookbook) to adjust screen position and/or separate keyboards and mouse. Your posture is so important. Doesn’t matter if it doesn’t match your dining chairs… this is essential!!

ChooseAtRandom · 19/06/2025 12:55

Quite a few of your problems here seem to come from your husband not respecting your job. I'd have a word with him about that if I were you. Either share the office so you both get time in it, use headphones etc, or a foldaway desk somewhere, or a stand up desk that goes on the kitchen table and he can clean the kitchen after breakfast while you do the school run.

MimiSunshine · 19/06/2025 12:52

The simplest thing would be to share the office but you both wear headphones for calls.
Not little earbuds, proper work ones with a mic that have noise cancelling built in too.

your husband is going to have to be flexible and compromise a bit on his own privacy. Or tell him that he’s going to have start doing 2 days a week in the kitchen / on the sofa instead and see how he gets on.