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AIBU?

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AIBU to think this is out of line

110 replies

ElatedBee · 19/06/2025 11:09

Neighbour asked to keep my children’s “screaming down” at 5:20pm when they were playing in a paddling pool in our garden on a very hot day. Reason given that they were working with open windows due to heat and it was loud. To me it sounds like a them problem, not a me problem, and the entitlement that they feel to request something of me in this instance is out of line.

For specific context, my son (3) was having a play date with another boy of same age that started at about 4pm in our garden, in the paddling pool. My daughter (6) joined around 4:45pm after school. She initially became very upset when she saw the two boys playing because she felt that she missed out on fun pool time and it wasn’t fair, but she calmed down in a few minutes. All three children were playing happily with me and the other mum supervising. Then my children had a fight about pouring water on the slide to make it slippery, when the daughter growled at the son and he growled back at her, at which point I had to intervene and de-escalate. Then they played merrily again until 5:30pm when the play date ended and my daughter went inside. This is to say that it was all very usual children’s behaviour. The only thing I could do to reduce the noise level is not have them out in the pool, but indoors.

AIBU to think that it’s out of line asking someone to subdue their children who are in their own garden on a hot summer’s day after 4pm?

OP posts:
MoistVonL · 19/06/2025 12:47

I’d add that I worked from home for years (self employed) and never once thought to complain about the noise from the neighbours’ children. No matter how loud.

Because it was my choice to work at home, so I was the one who needed to be accommodating

TheCurious0range · 19/06/2025 12:46

I think it depends, I have neighbours with young children who play out and you hear them laugh call to each other, splash in the paddling etc, no problem, the family who used to live there had children who just shrieked, whinged (loudly) and screamed ALL of the time, constantly arguing and Muuuuumm and the top of their voices , it was awful.

ElatedBee · 19/06/2025 12:46

Icanttakethisanymore · 19/06/2025 11:37

Hard to know without knowing the nature of the noise. Children do scream but if it was excessive shrieking I would probably ask them to keep it down; not least but I can't stand to listen to it myself. If it was normal 'kids playing noise' then obviously YANBU

I agree with you and @Silvers11. I put “screaming” in quotation marks to indicate that’s what the neighbour said, not what I felt was happening. They were playing and making noise such as calling each other’s names “look, Mary, look what I can do!” and like shouting out when being splashed, but it was very much cooperative play between 3 children. They were taking turns on the slide, one pretending to be a shark to catch the others, etc. I understand that it’s annoying to hear in the background when you’re trying to concentrate on something. I don’t understand feeling that something must be done about it.

OP posts:
Sweetpea59 · 19/06/2025 12:43

Peacepleaselouise · 19/06/2025 11:16

I’d say something like “hmm yes that is the risk you take with working from home in a residential area. Obviously we aren’t in an office block so you will hear families. Have a great day!”

Exactly this. If they're not screaming at full pelt all the time and just playing at normal child level then I would ignore them. Children have played in paddling pools since the year dot. Who are they to tell you to keep your children indoors so they're not disturbed.

WhatATimeToBeAlive · 19/06/2025 12:43

Playing, fine. Screaming, not fine.

DontTouchRoach · 19/06/2025 12:39

I work from home, and I don't have any kids. I would never in a million years complain about little kids playing in the garden and splashing in a paddling pool! It's summer and that kind of thing is exactly what gardens are for.

I actually quite like hearing my neighbour's kids giggling and splashing in their paddling pool - they just sound like they're having so much fun. Obviously they have the occasional row but it's hardly a crime for two small kids to kick off at each other for a minute or two, is it?

GabriellaMontez · 19/06/2025 12:38

Were they screaming? If so yabu.

Were they making normal child noise, with the odd shout or squeal? Yanbu

ElatedBee · 19/06/2025 12:37

Mrsttcno1 · 19/06/2025 11:43

Why the fuck are these kids growling at each other, and that’s considered normal?🤣

That made me laugh. The best way I can explain it is daughter said “that’s enough”, son said “it isn’t”, daughter insisted x3, son disagreed x3. Daughter out of sheer frustration of negotiating with a toddler went “grrr”, and the toddler out of provocation responded with “grrr” back. The equivalent of adults exclaiming “oh ffs” out of exasperation. Only they’re children and haven’t learned to vent their frustration out via a choice few words.

OP posts:
moomoo1967 · 19/06/2025 12:36

ElatedBee · 19/06/2025 11:09

Neighbour asked to keep my children’s “screaming down” at 5:20pm when they were playing in a paddling pool in our garden on a very hot day. Reason given that they were working with open windows due to heat and it was loud. To me it sounds like a them problem, not a me problem, and the entitlement that they feel to request something of me in this instance is out of line.

For specific context, my son (3) was having a play date with another boy of same age that started at about 4pm in our garden, in the paddling pool. My daughter (6) joined around 4:45pm after school. She initially became very upset when she saw the two boys playing because she felt that she missed out on fun pool time and it wasn’t fair, but she calmed down in a few minutes. All three children were playing happily with me and the other mum supervising. Then my children had a fight about pouring water on the slide to make it slippery, when the daughter growled at the son and he growled back at her, at which point I had to intervene and de-escalate. Then they played merrily again until 5:30pm when the play date ended and my daughter went inside. This is to say that it was all very usual children’s behaviour. The only thing I could do to reduce the noise level is not have them out in the pool, but indoors.

AIBU to think that it’s out of line asking someone to subdue their children who are in their own garden on a hot summer’s day after 4pm?

They could work with headphones on with either music or a podcast

Tortielady · 19/06/2025 12:33

In our house, it's just me, DH and two Dcats and we aren't used to a lot of noise. To be fair, we don't have to put up with much, as next door's little girl is only as loud as you'd expect and quiet enough that our rather skittish tom-cat finds her acceptable. That said, the weather's hot, you've got a garden and you don't live in an exam hall. You've got children who want and need to let off some steam after school and that's perfectly reasonable. Your neighbours might be more comfortable if they kept their windows shut and their curtains drawn till the sun goes down as this would keep the house cooler. They could also invest in a fan for additional ventilation.

Ablondiebutagoody · 19/06/2025 11:49

YANBU. They should go to an office if they want an office environment.

DiscoBob · 19/06/2025 11:47

Ridiculous. Of course you can't stop children playing in their garden after school.

They should buy an air conditioner if they are choosing to work from home next to other people's gardens that might, shock horror, be occupied and used in summer in the early evening?

Dahliasrule · 19/06/2025 11:46

children do tend to scream when they get excited and a pool on a hot day is exciting. They are letting off energy in a healthy way.

I think those working from home, need to think about placement of workspace and perhaps invest in earplugs or headphones if noise bothers them.

Nowayyousure · 19/06/2025 11:45

Peacepleaselouise · 19/06/2025 11:16

I’d say something like “hmm yes that is the risk you take with working from home in a residential area. Obviously we aren’t in an office block so you will hear families. Have a great day!”

This.

It's similar to people moving to the country and moaning about the countryside sounds. Cows, hens etc. Odd

tumblingdowntherabbithole · 19/06/2025 11:45

I actually don’t think it’s acceptable to let your kids scream just because they’re playing. YABU.

Starlight1984 · 19/06/2025 11:43

Peacepleaselouise · 19/06/2025 11:16

I’d say something like “hmm yes that is the risk you take with working from home in a residential area. Obviously we aren’t in an office block so you will hear families. Have a great day!”

This.

Mrsttcno1 · 19/06/2025 11:43

Why the fuck are these kids growling at each other, and that’s considered normal?🤣

Silvers11 · 19/06/2025 11:41

Icanttakethisanymore · 19/06/2025 11:37

Hard to know without knowing the nature of the noise. Children do scream but if it was excessive shrieking I would probably ask them to keep it down; not least but I can't stand to listen to it myself. If it was normal 'kids playing noise' then obviously YANBU

My view too @ElatedBee. If they were actually screaming for no good reason, then I think you should try to teach them not to do that. Some children do that and it is mega annoying and goes right through you if you have to listen to it.

If it was really just cheerful noise from children playing then no. of course YANBU. Only you can say, which it was?

Icanttakethisanymore · 19/06/2025 11:37

Hard to know without knowing the nature of the noise. Children do scream but if it was excessive shrieking I would probably ask them to keep it down; not least but I can't stand to listen to it myself. If it was normal 'kids playing noise' then obviously YANBU

Shoxfordian · 19/06/2025 11:33

It sounds like there was quite a lot of screaming which is really annoying and unnecessary - yabu

FinallyMovingHouse · 19/06/2025 11:32

Absolutely a them problem. Their solution is to buy noise cancelling headphones like the rest of us who have to work in noisy areas.

ouch321 · 19/06/2025 11:28

Entitled to not want to hear constant screaming?

This is what's going wrong with the world.

The only acceptable reason for screaming is that your child is in danger and needs urgent assistance.

Screaming to indicate you're having a fun time is not acceptable.

AddictedToBooks · 19/06/2025 11:27

We have loads of children around here who use the road outside (it's a Close) as a racetrack/football pitch and also children in two close by houses who are outside playing all day as both of those houses are childminders - I love hearing the kids all playing but sometimes if they're OTT screaming repeatedly it can get annoying - but we were all children once.

My mum never let me scream when playing and always made me "respect the neighbours" but I think it's healthy to let kids be loud when playing so long as it's not excessive, repeated shrieking for ages.

The kids on our street (about 10 of them on average aging from 2 to 12) play in the street and are always noisy, but they're just kids being kids and having fun and if they're being too loud, I simply close the window and turn up the TV or put some white noise on and let them get on with it - I wouldn't dream of asking their parents or the childminders to quieten them down.

Due to my illness, I often have to go to bed really early due to my medication making me sleepy, and I sleep with the bedroom window open in this weather and even then I don't care about the kids shouting and playing outside - in fact, I was listening to them the other night as they had a "serious" (to them) conversation about girls and I ended up giggling away to myself as I fell asleep as one boy retorted "I'd rather sit in a bath full of spiders" in response to the other boy fancying a certain girl.

PollyBell · 19/06/2025 11:25

Normal children playing noise is different to screaming or squealing for no reason, any children i have at home would not be allowed to do that

IdLikeABackMassage · 19/06/2025 11:24

I agree with @raysan if the noise was excessive.

It's give and take in this world. And faling out with neighbours can be really awkward.