Am I intolerant and unreasonable or would you also find this infuriating?

Sounds like he is on the spectrum. My daughter is the same, and she is autistic.

Also, she is only 2 now but when she is at pre school or school, faffing will mean she is late every time he takes her. This needs nipping in the bud now unless you want to be doing every single time critical task for your child.

If you find yourself waiting for him, start going without him.

Agree before hand what time you are leaving and say "Right, its noon, we are ready are you coming or not?" Then 5 minutes grace to see if he gets his shit together and if not just leave. Dont say anything, just leave.

With things like the nappy situation, leave him with the awkward job and you go AT HIS SPEED to get the stuff that is needed.

Cooking, when he insists on cooking say "No thank you I ate with DD" so he is cooking for one and eating alone.

The point is, at the moment you are enabling the faffing because you are all living at his speed. So ensure that faffing makes his life harder. He doesnt have to live at your speed but equally you dont have to live at his, there must be a middle ground that you are obviously open to considering and he isnt.

You just made me think of the sloth in Metropolis who works in the DVLA well not there but the American equivalent.

Op, I have always been efficient but ever since I became a mum. I have become supercharged!
I know she naps in 45 min blocks so I basically all I have to do chores/admin etc. mind you she is only 6 months old.

my husband is laid back just as you described! I think he was always this way I just didn’t notice it until we had a baby..
it drives me insane too but I pick my battles!

For goodness sake, maybe your behaviour drives him nuts, but he’s too kind to say so. He’s a good dad and presumably works, so get over it. Once I’m not at work, I’m the same. Neither he nor me will ever have heart attacks or high blood pressure. He sounds a dote. I’ll have him if you don’t want him. Give the guy a break. Is that seriously all you have to complain about? 🙄

Omg my DH is the same, absolute faffer, always decides to take the bins out when we’re running late, takes forever to get anything done… on the flip side (in my opinion) he drives too fast. He complains that he’s always being told to slow down or hurry up!

Yes my DH is a bit like this. I call it befuddling.

Rushing to leave the house and he decides to make a coffee, plods along like a cart horse. He cannot multi task whereas I am a bit of a whirlwind

I'm now just blunt and tell him to fucking hurry up or we'll go without him, and I will. I have done before and will do again
.

I would say my DH isn't quite as bad as this (maybe with the toilet thing though) but this does sound like a description of us.
Opposites attract

Please not a paramedic lol that made me laugh!

I really really feel for you OP. There’s one thing to be slow and careful and not make mistakes but how many errors can be made putting socks and shoes on!
If his behaviour consistently makes you late, isn’t that just rude, as if he’s saying « my time is more important than yours » and I don’t care if I make you wait. As for the baby wipe thing … Jeez… I would be mad at that … let’s hope you’re never in a situation where you’re in danger of drowning!

I do wonder whether OP's "no health issues" is likely to be accurate?

It can seem like everybody's favourite excuses bandwagon at the moment, but time-blindness is a clinical thing with some neurodivergent conditions.

If it was bad for humanity, these conditions would have evolved out. It's just modern living that can be more incompatible with them than times gone by (eg would he have made an acceptably slow (quick?) postmaster or civil servant in the 1960s?

He obviously made an acceptable enough companion to marry in the first place, so presumably you appreciated the balance from his zen approach to life at one point?

I get that it can be annoying. He probably finds you really raise his stress levels - it cuts both ways!

Early intervention marriage counselling would probably be far cheaper than bottling it up & ending in divorce. I would highly recommend you enlist a professional to help you talk about this effectively - they are far cheaper than lawyers!!!

www.psychologytoday.com/gb/basics/time-blindness/amp

I feel your pain as I have a boyfriend like this, how much it bothers me depends on the situation and my mood.
Recently for intance at the airport, I have my boarding pass open and ready and through I go. Look behind me and he is fiddling on his phone trying to download it whilst getting in everyones way. I eventually motioned to him to move aside.
On to going through customs, he needed to stop to locate a plastic bottle which he wanted to bin, follwed by another stop to finsih a bottle of water.
By this stage I just told him I am going without you and walked on.
I almost forgot then the security guard upset him and he wanted to register a complaint. Never discovered if he did as I had wandered off in to duty free.
You couldn't get anybody nicer or kinder but it infuriates me.

Is he on the spectrum? I ask this because my DH can be the same and can take longer than needed to do certain tasks. He will zone out and forget what he’s supposed to be on with. He is like this with making a decisions though and it drives me round the bend. Everything has to be properly thought out and he goes to the far end of a fart before he’s happy and confident enough to commit. He then gets anxiety over whatever it is going on and becomes overwhelmed and overstimulated so gets a migraine. It’s taken him over 18 months to buy a mobile phone. Money isn’t parted with easily (something else I can’t stand) so from finding a decent 2nd hand phone, doing more research on it than NASA, finding a smart watch to work with it, trading in some old consoles and a great deal of faff to get this handset cheaper he finally committed having only saved £50. This could have taken a few hours but he was so incessant on saving money and making sure he knew exactly what he was getting and being satisfied. He’s recently been diagnosed with Autism and ADHD at 43. Just to point out he has never shown anything like the behaviours I now see in all our 22 years together. He had a crisis a few years ago and spiralled which unearthed childhood trauma and going undiagnosed since childhood. He’s basically masked all his life and now we are here!

My mum’s like this. It’s so bloody irritating, I could not imagine being married to someone like it (and I’m not a particularly speedy person). She does the car thing too - I’ve learnt to never ask her a question that requires more than a one-word answer (even that sometimes) when arriving or leaving somewhere…end up sat in the car for AGES 10 feet from the front door 😡 and going to the toilet. 20 minute minimum!!

I have a friend who is very slow in everything she does, she even talks very slow, she thinks she may be autistic.. thing is you accepted hubby how he was when you first met, how come it didnt put you off then? Its part of his make up you just gotta accept it

My dad is like this - takes an age to do something simple like make a cup of tea. He held a very senior role before he retired and used to work long hours but now that I also hold a senior role I do wonder if he needed to work all the hours he did or if he just faffed about. He seems to get distracted.

DH is slow in a different way - he can do things quickly but he is sometimes cautious and methodical to a fault.

Neither of you are going to change so you need to find a way to work with it. DH is a big faffer when we are going away and likes to tie me check he has all his items whereas hanging around in the house me anxious and I’m likely to start looking for jobs to do. These days I just go and wait in the car when I am ready and scroll on my phone. I don’t watch him faff about and get annoyed and he doesn’t feel pressured to hurry up (which ends up making him slower)

😂

Same here

Leave. You'll go mad otherwise.

I’d have killed him and hidden the body by now.

I hate slow and getting ready just before going out annoys me i hate rushing and like being somewhere early rather than just on time

He sounds so chilled, a trait we would all love to have I think! Xx

Is this a new thing?
My Dad was like this when I was a child and still is in his 80s.
(True story: in the 1980s 2 escaped prisoners knocked on our front door and asked for a lift. My Dad took so long to get his shoes on that they thought he was calling the police and they ran off).
Why did you marry him if he is so annoying?

Oh my God, you know my pain, waiting in the car for half an hour after the time we agreed to leave at, after they've said they're ready.

What are they doing in there? What? What manner of activity takes thirty plus minutes after they are purportedly ready to leave?

This is why I never went home after university, I got out and realized other people don't have to live that way 😂