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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

...to ask if menopause and perimenopause are the same thing?

34 replies

TheTecknician · 18/06/2025 20:52

That's all. I'd never heard of the latter until about a year ago.

Apologies if I'm being an ignorant middle-aged man!

OP posts:
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Areyouactuallyjokingme · 26/06/2025 10:10

@Onceisenoughta that's awful, once. I'm sorry you had to go through that. 💐

Onceisenoughta · 20/06/2025 18:39

There's no right or wrong age for peri to start although the average age is 50 and it's recommended that using contraception should continue until 55 years but they are only averages and recommendations. Each woman is different. I was told that being on the minipill may have masked my symptoms but once it kicked in I knew about it. My hairdresser who is 3 years older than me used to tell me what she was experiencing before I knew anything about peri & I couldn't understand any of it at the time - unimaginable in my world - yet maybe a year later missed a hair appointment, made another one & missed that too, then another all in a row. I couldn't understand what was going on & my hair dresser wondered what was going on with me - then we realised, it was scary. I was also being bullied at work by my 2 female bosses at the time so maybe my head was elsewhere - I wasn't imagining it either, everything was documented religiously and they knew it. It was horrible & made me really ill - they were systematically taking me down piece by piece until the day my balloon burst. That was the end of my working life. Bitches/nurses at that & both older than me.

FatherFrosty · 20/06/2025 11:58

Onceisenoughta · 20/06/2025 02:41

You might be one of the lucky ones who don't even have any symptoms of menopause or you may not have reached perimenopause yet. I was on the minipill for years but still had periods, regular as clockwork - then they started going haywire at 49. I had no idea it was perimenopause starting, I had never heard of it, only menopause where your periods stop and you have hot flushes - if you're lucky. I wasn't, and not many women get away with it lightly. 9 years on HRT has given me back 80% of my life/sanity - the rest is gone probably forever. Every woman is different, every woman's symptoms are different, what suits one woman on HRT might not suit 100 others - it really is a lottery.

Oh no. Sadly I’ve got symptoms. I’ve had symptoms for years the doctor says I’m too young though. Yet I know what I’m experiencing and I also know my menopause is a long way off. Despite my symptoms risking my job, my relationship and my sanity I’ve been told to live with it as I’m too young.

I think splitting the menopause and peri menopause into two makes it easier for younger women to talk about. If your late 30’s and say your menopausal people say your too young. Perimenopause and people accept your symptoms.

the medical profession has to get much better at supporting women who are suffering through the peri bit. If your fertility starts to decline in your 30’s and 40’s that’s surely the beginning of perimenopause? It doesn’t mean you’ll have any issues. I appreciate many many sail through, I also know many don’t.

Tillow4ever · 20/06/2025 07:58

sicilianpizza · 19/06/2025 22:56

Thanks, that’s helpful! So when people say they are in menopause or menopausal they are actually perimenopausal. I am post menopausal!

I suspect most people when they say that are in peri, yes. It used to be we used menopausal to cover the whole lot.

KPPlumbing · 20/06/2025 07:08

TheTecknician · 19/06/2025 08:22

@BellissimoGecko I didn't register to come on here and ask this question. I've been on MN for years. And I asked here rather than Google because here is where I first came across the term 'perimenopause'. HTH.

Everyone else, thankyou for the useful replies.

I'm a 41 year old woman and only heard the term perimenopause for the first time last year! Just in time, as I'm now experiencing symptoms.

I thought 'the menopause' was a process that lasted about a year and happened to women in their mid-late 50s.

But no, you can be perimenopausal for 10 years or more. Then you have your final period (but you don't know its 'final' at the time) and then one year after that final period, you have hit menopause.

It's a whole new world I've really had to educate myself on.

OneBlossomBee · 20/06/2025 02:55

I cannot believe you a woman in her early 50s and asking this! You need to talk to your dr about being tested for menopause and I'm surprised at your yearly medication review it hasn't been discussed about menopause and if you need to be on the mini pill now. Menopause is usually, on average, at your age in your early 50s in the UK. Obviously the mini pill can stop your periods and that would make it hard to determine if you are peri or menopausal. You can buy test kits online too to check hormone levels to see if you are menopausal if you want to know asap.

Onceisenoughta · 20/06/2025 02:41

FatherFrosty · 19/06/2025 22:02

I’ve had the same discussion with my doctor this week when they keep wanting to check my FSH levels (follicle-stimulating hormone). It won’t be high as I’m not in menopause. But I do know I’m in perimenopause because of symptoms.

You might be one of the lucky ones who don't even have any symptoms of menopause or you may not have reached perimenopause yet. I was on the minipill for years but still had periods, regular as clockwork - then they started going haywire at 49. I had no idea it was perimenopause starting, I had never heard of it, only menopause where your periods stop and you have hot flushes - if you're lucky. I wasn't, and not many women get away with it lightly. 9 years on HRT has given me back 80% of my life/sanity - the rest is gone probably forever. Every woman is different, every woman's symptoms are different, what suits one woman on HRT might not suit 100 others - it really is a lottery.

sicilianpizza · 19/06/2025 22:56

Tillow4ever · 19/06/2025 19:53

Menopause champion here lol!

Perimenopause = the period of time when you start experiencing symptoms associated with your changing hormone levels. Can last up to 10 years.

Menopause = lasts a single day. This is when you have not had a period for 12 months.

Postmenopause = the time following menopause.

Thanks, that’s helpful! So when people say they are in menopause or menopausal they are actually perimenopausal. I am post menopausal!

OnTheBoardwalk · 19/06/2025 22:06

Good question OP

i'm on the mini pill early 50's and not bled for 8 years plus. How do I know if I’m mono or peri?

FatherFrosty · 19/06/2025 22:02

I’ve had the same discussion with my doctor this week when they keep wanting to check my FSH levels (follicle-stimulating hormone). It won’t be high as I’m not in menopause. But I do know I’m in perimenopause because of symptoms.

Noononoo · 19/06/2025 20:26

The wicked thing is that you never know it is your last period… which is why it’s absence for a year. there’s evidence of starting but not finishing. Girls used to say have you started yet? But I’ve not heard amy women ever say have you finished yet.

unconditionalpurelove · 19/06/2025 20:09

specu · 19/06/2025 19:58

Hope that helps.
HTH.

Ah thanks

specu · 19/06/2025 19:58

unconditionalpurelove · 19/06/2025 19:54

Please can someone tell me what HTH means? Thank you

Hope that helps.
HTH.

unconditionalpurelove · 19/06/2025 19:54

Please can someone tell me what HTH means? Thank you

Tillow4ever · 19/06/2025 19:53

Menopause champion here lol!

Perimenopause = the period of time when you start experiencing symptoms associated with your changing hormone levels. Can last up to 10 years.

Menopause = lasts a single day. This is when you have not had a period for 12 months.

Postmenopause = the time following menopause.

dementedpixie · 19/06/2025 19:52

Are you not post menopausal once you've reached menopause and not had a period for over 1 year?

So perimenopause beforehand, menopause reached 1 year after periods stop and then move to post menopausal

W0tnow · 19/06/2025 19:37

I mean, I could Google it, I guess. But yes.

W0tnow · 19/06/2025 19:36

sicilianpizza · 19/06/2025 19:25

So after your periods have stopped for a year and you’ve ‘reached menopause’ are you then menopausal / in menopause? And if so, for how long? For ever??

Yep. That’s my understanding.

Bonsatater · 19/06/2025 19:33

sicilianpizza · 19/06/2025 19:25

So after your periods have stopped for a year and you’ve ‘reached menopause’ are you then menopausal / in menopause? And if so, for how long? For ever??

My mum told me its forever but I don't believe her because some people I've spoken too have said there symptoms have stopped. Maybe everyone is different would be good to know though.

sicilianpizza · 19/06/2025 19:25

So after your periods have stopped for a year and you’ve ‘reached menopause’ are you then menopausal / in menopause? And if so, for how long? For ever??

pollymere · 19/06/2025 18:33

When my Mum had hers it was called "going through the menopause" or "The Change". So the whole process until your periods stopped was also the menopause or being menopausal. Happening in late forties to late fifties.

I always assumed that being peri meant beginning symptoms but still having regular periods. Happening in early to late forties.

Now, I've found it's mostly used to describe the former not the latter so I get while you're confused!

Drivingmissrangey · 19/06/2025 08:27

Bonsaibaby · 19/06/2025 06:50

People used to talk more about menopausal women which covered perimenopause, menopause and after, but now it seems to be more perimenopausal or in perimenopause for before.

I think this is exactly it. A while back people used to talk about going through the menopause/getting hot flushes during the menopause, etc. I don’t remember the word perimenopause being used back then.

I think most people now know they are not the same thing. But I think perimenopause is what lots of people used to refer to as the menopause.

inkognitha · 19/06/2025 08:24

Well, I m like you OP, everything I thought the menopause would be, it was the perimenopause actually

TheTecknician · 19/06/2025 08:22

@BellissimoGecko I didn't register to come on here and ask this question. I've been on MN for years. And I asked here rather than Google because here is where I first came across the term 'perimenopause'. HTH.

Everyone else, thankyou for the useful replies.

OP posts:
redfishcat · 19/06/2025 07:39

Menopause is a YEAR after you had your last period.

Write it down somewhere, or you will forget !
and it is very annoying to get to eight months period free and then have another