Getting lost….

You're a nightmare. Friends are worried for your safety. You shouldn't drink if you can't handle it. You've obviously been lucky so far. Women your age DO get spiked and assaulted, or robbed, and you are also at much higher risk of being involved in or causing an accident. I wouldn't go out with you.

You are part of the group and someone will say where's Ann has anyone seen her? Did she say she was leaving? Haven't seen her for a while, I'll go and look for her, and before you know it the whole evening is wondering what happened to Ann, looking in the toilets, asking the bar staff. And Ann is off with her new friends having fun. I hope you tell them in advance that you will probably wander off to find some new friends and not to worry about you.

It's just basic social etiquette isn't it, you go out with friends you stay in that group not wandering off as it would come across as rude to those you started the night with.

If you crave new connections go out alone but just stick to places you know, local pubs etc and obviously tell someone where you going from a safety point of view.

You can be outgoing and courteous to people at the same time.

Sounds Like you’ve got to the bottom
of it, how you are is the dream - you sound like you meet plenty of people

and if you want close friendships just meet in smaller groups

you don’t have to adapt to other insecurities

The simple answer is, if your friends have a problem with your actions then you need to decide whether they are more important to you or your "socialising" takes priority.

It sounds like more than one person has mentioned this to you, which shows that for your friend group, they aren't happy with this.

Even if you think this is stupid, they don't.

I had a friend like you and it was infuriating because despite what you think, most people want to keep an eye on a friend who is drinking and when you disappear we have to stop chatting and having our own fun to go into "mum mode".

It's a downer and it is selfish.

If your friend group all did this and thought it was fine then no worries, but you wouldn't be posting here if that was the case.

I would also check in with yourself too because often people like you think they are funny and entertaining other people but they are being polite because a drunk lady has come up to them and interrupted their evening. (Unless they are sleazy men and they are hoping for payment for a free drink and a flirt).

You may be wildly interesting and this doesn't apply to you, but it's always good to be self aware.

Edit: sorry I just saw your last update. Well done for listening OP 💗 Good luck with your nights out in the future.

That’s the go

you sound like your quite capable of having lots of connections and don’t need the friend group at all

although you’ve just updated you find the larger group hard..is that maybe linked to getting seen/heard in the group unless you wander off..it feels like they could be related

you wonder off because you have fomo…
you need and crave attention and your feelings, trump how shitty you make your friends feel.
your need to be popular and liked by strangers over the company of the people you are actually out with , is really rude and embarrassing!

As someone who had my drink spiked age 40, I’m glad my friends all keep an eye on each other or I could have been in real danger.

But, if you’re going out with a group of friends it’s fine to chat to others but disappearing and spending more time with new friends than those you’re out with is very rude. It’s like saying you lot aren’t good enough/entertaining enough so I’m trying out better friends but might pop back and say hi occasionally.

cont…

which you have an idea about which is why your posting for opinions with a “I’m just a free spirit and am
Mystified why everyone else isn’t”

id just go out on my own so I could be free if I was like you

That’s not on. If you enjoy socializing this way, go out by yourself and do whatever you want.

I agree that it is rude to the friends you have gone out with and suggests you don't enjoy their company and are using them as a group to go back to if you don't find anyone better.

I also agree with others suggesting the safety aspect of this. You might think it appears friendly but so some it could appear as you are easy and that they can easily ply you with drinks and separate you from your friends.

Move over to Ireland. Everyone is like that here.

I like your style 😊

It’s polite, even in a group, to let your friends know where you are - whether you’re nipping off to the shop to buy a vape or off chatting. They’re wondering where you are and concerned you aren’t getting too drunk and into difficulties with your “new pals.”

It’s fine to be sociable, but do it on your own time and tone it down when you’re out with other people - they’ve met with you to spend time with you, not to have you find them not as interesting or exciting as strangers in the bar.

ETA: I have also met and made a couple of my now closest women friends in the queue for the toilets in a nightclub or at the bar - but we always each say we’re heading back to our friends and swap numbers to catch up later. Do it that way.

I think whilst you like making strangers ‘feel good’ you’re actually being a shit friend to the people you initially started the evening with.

You think you’re charming and sociable but to your mates you probably come across as distracted, flakey and annoying.