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DP is very ‘hands on‘ in public and I feel embarrassed

186 replies

RachSmit · 18/06/2025 17:19

My partner is a touchy feely person - I liked this at first as it was affectionate and not over the top. Over time though, this has become more public and I feel like it’s gone too far. I’d mentioned this and he stopped but it has creeped in again and I fear that’s just who he is.

It has developed to things like groping/pinching my bum in a queue despite people being near by, and coming up behind me if I was bent over to pick something up to pretend to hump me.

Yesterday we were walking back to the car after a shop and he slapped it loudly enough for a couple of people near by to turn around. I told him in the car on the way back that it was embarrassing they looked and he said they were just jealous they can’t do it themselves.

I really don’t want to hurt his feelings and surpress who he is but I don’t think I can put up with it for much longer. Do you agree it’s over the top now? Has anyone else had a partner like this and any tips to dealing with it?

OP posts:
MiloMinderbinder925 · 18/06/2025 17:28

Yet he doesn't mind hurting you and embarrassing you in public. He shouldn't be harassing you like this, it's very aggressive. Tell him to cut it out or start whacking him on the nose with a rolled up magazine.

ThymeSageRosemary · 18/06/2025 17:27

I would make it really clear that it's unacceptable to you and makes you incredibly uncomfortable and if he does it again then you would have to reconsider the relationship. It's not 'just who he is'. He is entirely capable of controlling his behaviour.

Ace56 · 18/06/2025 17:27

Fratolish · 18/06/2025 17:24

Why are his feelings more important than yours? Your body is yours, it belongs to you and nobody else. Nobody should be able to touch you in a way that you don't welcome. Fuck his hurt feelings.

This. Why do you have to put up with it just because it makes him happy? It’s YOUR body, stand up for yourself OP. Be serious with him.

Shoxfordian · 18/06/2025 17:26

Its sexual assault - you've told him you're uncomfortable and he ignores you
What other boundaries does he ignore?

TreadSoftlyOnMyDreams · 18/06/2025 17:26

How old is he? 16?

I'd be inclined to say very loudly "I'm not your sex toy" if he persisted in embarrassing me with unwanted and inappropriate contact in public like that.

JuneJustRains · 18/06/2025 17:25

God, I'd be suppressing the blighter every time. If that's "who he is" he needs to be a different person.

Victoriaspo · 18/06/2025 17:24

What a disgusting man. Believe me people are not ‘jealous’ seeing you get slapped, groped and pinched in public. It’s sexual harassment/ assault. Doesn’t matter that it’s your partner, you’ve told him not to touch you like that and he’s still doing it. It’s abusive

Fratolish · 18/06/2025 17:24

Why are his feelings more important than yours? Your body is yours, it belongs to you and nobody else. Nobody should be able to touch you in a way that you don't welcome. Fuck his hurt feelings.

Policiesnotpersona · 18/06/2025 17:20

Ewww. No.

TheMAFSfan · 18/06/2025 17:20

My other half is like this and I hate it. He says it’s how he shows affection but I’ve told him it’s not how I want to receive affection. Currently stuck in the same situation so interested in people’s responses.

Hankunamatata · 18/06/2025 17:20

Id bloody hurt his feeling by saying lidly every time - what on earth are you doing!