DP is very ‘hands on‘ in public and I feel embarrassed

They haven’t stopped if he was still making those sorts of comments yesterday in front of your DS’s girlfriend.

Why is it so hard for you to say ‘I don’t like it, stop it’? What sort of relationship do you have if any assertion of agency would ‘hurt’ him and you need to be regularly made uncomfortable and/or embarrassed in order to protect his delicate feelings? What about your feelings?

Ah man this is cringier, being exhibitionist means they want the audience and are asking people to participate in their PDA by being unwilling witnesses to it.

This is an extreme example bit I remember some people at a place I worked being very loud and amorous in an accessible loo in the foyer and they came out with SUCH swagger, to be met with either disgust, distaste or simple disinterest.

Are you serious, or is this trolling?

It was your fault because of the skirt you were wearing, and not letting him would make you a cock tease? Jesus, I hope you don't have children with him.

At the moment.

If your partner does something to you and you tell them it upsets you, and they KEEP DOING IT then why the f are they still your partner?? It's that simple. Whatever the thing is, if it's something they have control over and they're a half decent human they will stop doing anything once they know it upsets you. If they don't then they're not a good person and you Dump Them.

Your appropriate response is to hand him divorce papers. LTB. Then work with a therapist on strengthening your boundaries and noticing red flags in a relationship. This behaviour will not have been the first or only sign.

it feels like he enjoys transgressing boundaries in public. Not healthy really

This would have been my first nightmare from the start. Usually people who do this feel they have something to prove.

Ugh. Regardless of how ok he is in private this is a deal breaker. It’s vile behaviour.

FFS! If you don't like it, then dump him, it's not difficult, is it?

'Cock tease' is a massive red flag.

You’re telling him you don’t like it and he’s ignoring you. You need to be firm that this could be a deal breaker for you.

OP, I'm in a similar situation. Although slightly different in how it plays out. My DH can be sexually inappropriate in front of the kids sometimes, think a little grind on my bum, or a sexual joke with my 15 year old son. We had our DS gf around yesterday and DH said something sexual and when I reacted, gf noted her mum is worse! So maybe it's me? My Dh struggles with being in social situations especially with people and he will start to touch me, like little squeezes here and there and I feel ‘clawed at’. I remember inviting him to a work do and as I was talking with colleagues he started to adjust my necklace - it just felt weird. He will often just stare at me, adoringly, and I just find it strange… is it me? I don't know whether to say anything because I don't want to hurt him. However, I did make it clear the sexual suggestions around the kids has to stop and in fairness it has stopped.

@RachSmiti would have to say something about the bum slap, for it to be heard had to have hurt? For me when I've talked to my DH, I've explained how my mum hat is on, and so any type of sexual touch just feels wrong - time and place and all that.

You know this quite frankly sounds rapey right? It’s very much rape culture talk.

“Cock tease” & “no man could resist”.

I don’t think I could stay with a man who used the phrase cock tease seriously. How fucking gross.

Yuck - he sound like a right creep, and I can assure you not one person in their right mind would be jealous. What a pig of a man!

Noooo!! I want to tell him to F off on your behalf!! This is so disrespectful and objectifying. You are not suppressing who he is by saying “no”, you are putting a really important body boundary in place. “This is my body and I do not want you to do x, y and z in public. This is something I will not tolerate.” Hold your boundary and see how he responds. If he continues to do it, that will speak volumes. If he minimises your wishes, that speaks volumes. If he gets upset (whilst dismissing your upset) that will speak volumes.
And I write this as someone who loves public (consensual and appropriate) displays of affection.

When he does it squeeze his man tits and loudly exclaim “can I get a go on those love”?

I honestly think people like this only respond if you really make it blatantly obvious how embarrassing, humiliating, immature and degrading this is by getting what they give out.

This is a huge problem!

He thinks that because of what you’re wearing you deserve to be treated a certain way by men. That is awful and also dangerous for you. What if you want to wear a short skirt because it’s a hot day and then he feels like you owe him something?

I really think I wouldn’t be able to get past this.

Also, you said he stopped for a while after you said and now it’s ‘creeping back in’ that means he doesn’t respect your boundaries. You made something clear, he changed his behaviour and then went straight back to how he wanted to treat you. He doesn’t respect you.

There's an air of " possession" about this and objectifying you in public.
Absolutely fuck off .
Husbands can be creepy you know, marriage doesn't absolve creepiness?

His weird 'excuses' are him telling you he will persist despite you hating it. I see this as a form of possessive assault.

Kick him in the nuts next time or at least threaten to. It makes me feel claustrophobic and a bit trapped just reading about this.

Ugh. It’s always a woman that cares about ‘not hurting his feelings’ despite the fact that he’s a misogynistic oaf with the sensitivity and empathy of a brick. 🙄

Stop worrying about his precious sensibilities and tell him to grow the fuck up. Real and decent men don’t behave or talk like that, so you might want to reflect on your own choices in this too.

But likes to metaphorically piss on you to mark his territory in public? Is he a teenager?

I don’t know how he’ll take it, he was a bit taken a back last time. He said on one occasion that in the skirt I had on, no man would be able to keep their hands off me and if I said not to, I’d be a ‘cock tease’!

Red flags:

• His behaviour in public.
• The fact that he didn’t listen to you the first time you brought it up.
• The fact that you’re ’not sure how he’ll take it’.
• The rapey language used above. ‘If you say not to, you’re a cock tease’? What the actual fuck? And you didn’t dump him immediately?

Please tell us how him being supportive and caring manifests.

This update is a massive red flag. Massive.

‘Don’t want to hurt his feelings’?! What am I reading? He’s sexually assaulting you in public and you want to not hurt his feelings? Ffs, get your head out your arse! He is incredibly disrespectful of you. How else does he abuse you?