DP is very ‘hands on‘ in public and I feel embarrassed

What is unreasonable here is that you are worried that by putting boundaries in about your own body that you are causing your husband to have hurt feelings. He sounds sleazy

This isn’t done to show affection. You’ve told him you don’t like it. Normal people don’t show affection by doing things that their partners dislike and find embarrassing and humiliating. If this is ‘who he is’ then I’m afraid ‘who he is’ is a complete cunt who doesn’t respect your bodily autonomy.

Jealous…doubt it, more like cringing or thinking it’s trashy. Why can’t he control his behaviour in public instead of acting like a teenage fuckwit. Embarrassing.

Cock tease 🤮. Grim phrase and a grim sentiment. Plus the temptation to burn said skirt. He sounds vile

I’d give his bollocks a playful, loving twist next time he decides to manhandle you in public

I really don’t want to hurt his feelings and surpress who he is but I don’t think I can put up with it for much longer.

@RachSmit This is a very unhealthy way to handle your relationship and this approach will lead to resentment and unhappiness on your part.

He can be "who he is" without humiliating you and treating you like a piece of meat for his amusement especially when you have told him to stop.

By saying you don't want him to suppress who he is, that means you have to suoress who you are isn't it? Why is it fine for you to suppress who and what you want so he can express himself?

No decent man who loves and respects his wife will treat her like he treats you, he is a disrespectful masochistic piece of shit.

I would have a serious conversation with him to explain how it makes you feel and why he needs to stop and you need to have a "what if" and be ready to stick to it if not you need to decide if you're willing to accept it to "avoid him suppressing himself" at the expense of your happiness.

For me I would be prepared to walk away from a man who isn't willing to listen to my feelings and make changes and continues to humiliate me in public like I don't matter. I am not saying you should leave immediately but that will be on the table for me if he continues to ignore my feelings and complaints.

I had this issue with my husband, although not doing it in public just round the house all time. I read this article and it really resounded with me. I actually showed it to my husband and he got it, and has since stopped. I actually find myself giving him more physical affection now as previously I shied away as anything would be seen as an green light to be totally OTT in response. https://www.marriagebuilders.com/guidelines-for-groping-and-grabbing-in-marriage.htm

This.

No one is jealous.
They absolutely pity you and your low standards.

Creepy, sleazy men grope women.
The women are to be pitied.
You are being pitied.

For your choice in men and your low standards.

Oh and decent men of whom I know men, would also describe him as low class.

Wake up OP.
You really deserve better.

He’s being very disrespectful towards you. You have asked him to stop but he hasn’t changed his behaviour. Personally, I’d end the relationship but if you really want to stay with this creep, you yell ‘STOP IT!’ and make a scene every time he does it.

He really needs training to be allowed out in public - maybe a vet could ‘fix’ him?

The cock tease comment is just appalling. And very rapey.

YUK.

Please reassure me that you do not have children with him...

This is not demonstrating love or attraction,He’s overtly signalling ownership by conspicuous sexualised touching. He is indicating your his woman, his chattel and he’s the alpha man. All driven by insecurity and over compensating of course

Pretending to hump you is not affection.

If someone you love tells you that something you do makes them feel anxious / embarrassed/ upset and you keep doing it, then you’re an arsehole aren’t you? Your other half is regularly doing something he knows you don’t really like, despite you telling him so. His motivation isn’t showing you love, it’s a feeling of entitlement to your body.

This. You asked him more than once to stop and he has ignored you.

Indeed- it's a what the hell have I just read update. He's vile.

That's not even remotely similar to what OP describes 🙄

I made it clear to DP that it means both to me and to whoever sees it that he isn't respecting me. Whatever his intent, this is how everyone else perceived it- and he stopped.

But it’s not affection if he or the OP's partner carry on doing something they know you and OP don’t like, is it? It’s arrogance and complete disrespect and disregard for your and her wishes.

He's marking his territory, it's very immature.

I once witnessed a bloke groping his GF’s bottom while in a coffee shop queue. It looked gross and my feeling was that he was marking her as his property. OP you really need to tell him that he’s assaulting you; forget about his feelings, he’s disregarding yours.

This. It’s branding you, the slapping you is dominance and ownership.

I think you’re right OP, just you’re not compatible here. He sounds more sexual, less mature and he clearly doesn’t really care about other people’s take on things, whilst you do.

I don’t think the odd bum pinch would bother me, in fact, I’d quite like my husband to show a bit more physical attention. But the bum slapping and humping would be a big no.

You’ve asked him before and he wasn’t able to maintain it, so I wouldn’t expect much. I’d probably ask him one more time but that would be it.

Out of pure interest, how’s the sex? Is he as confident behind closed doors as he is in public?

This.

Stop step away and say ‘what on earth do you think you are doing?’

and then repeat or even use you phrase ‘I have the ick’

OP, he's uncouth and branding you in public, like you are a piece of meat.

Profoundly disrespectful.
Kindly meant but once would be enough for most women, second time definitely dumped.

You have had to speak to him and he continues to disrespect you.
Appalling behaviour.
How have you not gotten the ick?

You must be vulnerable with self esteem issues to continue to allow to be touched like that.

www.freedomprogramme.co.uk is a good place to start learning to building boundaries.

You really do deserve better.