DP is very ‘hands on‘ in public and I feel embarrassed

Why do you care if you’re hurting his feelings. He doesn’t give shit about yours and he sounds 14 years old. Always looking for attention. Just no. How about that. Just tell him you hate it and you’re already told him that. What’s his problem. Does he not understand English or cues or feelings or anything other than that’s what he likes. He probably thinks it makes him look like your his property.. gross

That is not him showing affection, that is him showing off his sex toy in public. I'd ick out of the relationship over this.

My ex was like this. Otherwise he ticked all my boxes. It was disgusting and very embarrassing. He seemed literally incapable of keeping his hands off me. Even now thinking about it I remember my feelings of anger.

I dumped him after attempts to get him to cop the f on landed on deaf ears. I then realised he had deaf ears regarding anything that he didn't like to hear. He was convinced that I really did love him and I was fighting my feelings as I was 'afraid'.

We ended up at the same event a few days before his wedding. I stopped for a chat and to congratulate him. He then decided the universe was sending a message because we had been thrown together just before he made a lifelong commitment.

Yes his feelings wouldn't be hurt if he respected your wishes.

I am sorry but the moment a man I was seeing started humping me in public, squeezing my bottom and slapping it so hard people heard the sound, I'd end it. You've told him to stop it and he hasn't. This isn't some annoying little tic - it's a huge trampling over boundaries. There's probably a lot more lurking under there ready to come out when you are more enmeshed with him - shared ownership of property and children. People aren't jealous - they are just feeling sorry for you and wondering how you ended up dating a creep like him.

No red flags?! His comment was a huge red flag!!

FFS

He said on one occasion that in the skirt I had on, no man would be able to keep their hands off me and if I said not to, I’d be a ‘cock tease’!

Oh my god it gets worse. So it's YOUR fault he sexually assaults you and calls you sexist, misogynistic names.

But apart from that, your relationship is completely and utterly wonderful.

Well, if you want to end up with a pig of a man who thinks you're an object for mens pleasure, more fool you.

Indeed. Every single man I've come across who was like this turned out to be abusive and controlling.

Completely agree - it is over the top and needs to be talked through! I think the incompatibility of such an extreme version of PDA could be detrimental.

Yes- hence why I started with saying it sounds ‘over the top’ and that he needs to be talked to about it 🙂

So many men where I live are like this, so I'm out of luck (in the Tees Valley/North East, despite my username 😔). It's like they see it as something "macho" that makes them look good to other men 🤮. Arseholes who behave like this in public or in front of others tend to also be quite narcissistic- they don't give a shit about body autonomy, respect or boundaries. They will never change. Dump him.

Absolutely this. You're his property and he likes other people seeing this.

This approach won't work with men like this. There will just be one of these two outcomes:

1. He apologises and keeps his hands to himself for about a week or two, then he'll go straight back to groping again, or

1. He'll get angry and defensive, saying he's doing "nothing wrong" and sprout shite like "I can't even touch my own gf/P!", "you're a prude/frigid!", "all men do this!" etc.....

I'd have given him one warning, then dumped him if he continued to do it. But then again, I don't tend to date unevolved cavemen.....

If that's what he's like in the honeymoon phase then he'll only get worse. Dump this arsehole.

Shouldn't it tell you something that you're anxious about and avoiding going out with him? Because it would give me pause.

Yesterday we were walking back to the car after a shop and he slapped it loudly enough for a couple of people near by to turn around. I told him in the car on the way back that it was embarrassing they looked and he said they were just jealous they can’t do it themselves

They weren't jealous. They were thinking 'What a creep that man is for humiliating his partner in public like that' or possibly 'What the hell are those people doing using us to fulfil their exhibitionist kink? That's gross.'

A few years ago my DP and I were at an outdoor gig and the man standing in front of us was constantly grabbing and groping his partner. We could absolutely tell that she didn't like it and another couple who were standing next to us actually turned to us at one point and said 'If that creepy c**t doesn't leave his wife alone in a minute, I think we might have to stage an intervention'.

Dominique Pelicot comes to mind.

Sorry this actually would be a deal breaker for me and he would be an ex. He has little respect for you treating you like that in public. He is treating you like a object he gets to play with and show off to strangers.

This isn't about how he is in bed, pleasuring you, ffs!

This is about him showing women absolutely no respect in public. He is happy for other people to see you groped. Can't you see how awful that is? He feels he has the right to do whatever he wants to you sexually in public.

Wtf op. HUGE RED FLAG

@bigkahunaburger stay away from him .don't sit beside him, he is probably geared up thinking the spa is a perfect groping sexual experience.

Oh gosh I fear Im in a similar situation. Early days of relationship, he is wonderful in every way, but he can't keep his hands off me when we are out. I mean I feel the same way, and want to, but I know its not socially acceptable. We actually got told off in the pub, for having a sneaky snog in a dark corner - I was mortified. He gets annoyed and says its other peoples problem and we should just crack on. Im at the point of avoiding going out, cos we are in that honeymoon phase of being very touchy/feely, but its gross for others. I also desperately don't want to reject him or hurt his feelings.

We are actually going to a spa today and Im already anxious about it!

Grossly immature.

This.
He sounds repulsive.

💯