To leave kids in bed whilst I run

I'd do it, but would talk to the kids about the 14yo being in in charge while your away and the 8yo needing to wake them if they need anything. If finances allow I'd also offer the 14yo a small financial reward (maybe £10/week) for taking on the responsibility of potentially being woken and having to care for 8yo.

I think it will be fine as long as you make sure to bring some form of id with you (name address etc) in case something happens to you.

I know that sounds weird but I know people who collapsed while running and no one knew who they were, so I always advise this.

I agree. I'm shocked by the responses on here. I wouldn't leave an 8 year old without a responsible person and a sleeping teenager doesn't count.

It is genuinely not possible to plan for every eventuality in life otherwise accidents wouldn’t happen.

There are countless parents who will be allowing their 14 year olds to be home alone for a couple of hours after school until they get home from work. Most of them will have drilled their dc on who to contact and how to react in an emergency. Placing this level of trust is just as important as protecting children and engenders independent thinking. Too much helicopter parenting is disabling.

My mum used to leave for work at 6:30am. My brother and I were 6 & 10 and this went on for 20+ plus years. She would leave a cooked breakfast which we just needed to reheat, we would make toast and tea ourselves before walking to school. However this was late 80’s to 90’s and children were sensible then and not wrapped in cotton wool. Not saying it was right but it was either that setup or us not having a roof over our heads.

NRTFT—only OP posts. If you’re worried that your ex will catch wind of this and use it against you…have you considered doing a YouTube exercise video?

When I read these threads, I honestly wonder if people have this genuine level of anxiety in real life, or they are just letting their imagination run wild because they think it's fun on a forum.

We are talking about an 8 year old potentially waking up in his own house, with 3 older siblings and whose mum would likely be back by the time they actually wake up fully and have a wee.

You'd think the OP was planning on leaving for 6 months leaving young kids in a war zone surrounded by brain eating zombies and having to master an evacuation and survival plan. Honestly 🙄

More than fine. As long as they know you'll be out, they're plenty old enough imo.

I would have been totally for this until I had a freak accident close to home while running and ended up going straight to A&E in an ambulance. Obviously the chances of it happening are very small but it is something to consider.

I'd use a treadmill instead, but that's just me.

Genuine question, do you take turn in your house to stay awake at night? In case of fire?

Fridges are a risk - people don't switch them off at night for example. How do you manage the risk in your own house? Surely you cannot all be sleeping at the same time?

Personally I'd want the eldest awake.The age isn't an issue imo but being aware of anything that might need dealing with would be very important to me

As long as they know you go for your run, of course absolutely fine.

It would be just as ok to go to Tesco or anything. Half an hour is nothing!

Seems fine to me. My youngest is 8 in September and regularly gets up before us, takes himself downstairs and watches TV, sometimes has his breakfast before we are even fully awake.

The risk of something major like a fire happening in 30 minutes is so small and by 8 they should know what to do anyway. They don't need full supervision and a 14 year old should be capable of dealing with something on the unlikely chance it happens to crop up. Plus you have the others somewhere in between.

Are you usually this alarmist? Can you give us an age at which it is ok to ever leave your children alone? 16, 18, older still?

Weighing up risk, giving teenagers the tools to move gradually and safely into independence is part of successful parenting. Presumably the op has a smoke alarm and she’s emphasised the measures she’s putting in place to communicate. Your reaction is over the top.

🙄

do you have someone sit awake all night 'in case something happens'?

It's not the OP that's mad.

Lapping twice might be a good idea.
re fires-I’m sure there is some research to say that kids don’t wake up to fire alarms like adults do so if you wanted to be extra cautious you could do trial run with the 14 year old.

A 14 year old will just go back to sleep like nothing happened.

an 8 yo should be perfectly capable of waking up 'on their own' but they're not 'on their own' anyway, siblings are in the house.

honestly. It shouldn't be a big deal even if the 8 yo was on their own.

I would say okay if 14 year old is fully onboard and knows what to do / who to call if a problem arises. No 14 year olds are quite the same, some are very sensible and some need help themselves. You will be the best judge of this.

The issue with leaving children unsupervised is not only what can happen to them when you are away but what can happen to you (God forbid) and no-one knows that they are alone. However at 14 should know who to call, etc.

I am the child of a lone parent, so I was "parentified" to some degree. I would say that there is a balance between putting too much parental responsibility on your children (which is negative) and allowing your children to learn and deal with adversity and situations as they arise (which is a positive).

I would recommend training your kids, what to do in situation x, y, or z. My children are older, but I never leave without checking that they know how to call for help, where are the keys, etc.

Re the fire risk, as long as you have working smoke alarms and both the front and back doors can be opened from the inside without needing to find a key I think that’s fine. They’re not teeny tiny and should be able to get out fine if they need to. And the risk is tiny. Maybe don’t put a tumble dryer or washing machine on just before you go to reduce it even further.

I think that's fine if they all know and they're happy. My ds has been getting his own breakfast since he was 8, if they wake they can start slowly sorting themselves out. 14yo is plenty old enough to be in charge for 10 minutes.

Mine appreciate the responsibility, we lay out the rules - no oven, don't open the door, stay inside etc. I often walk the dog leaving 9 and 11yo for 30 mins. They're always fine. It baffles me that people expect secondary children to get themselves to school on the bus and home again with all the potential problem solving that entails but act horrified at giving them the chance to test themselves in the safe home environment.