To leave kids in bed whilst I run

I think the most likely way this goes wrong is the youngest has a minor problem, can't rouse the sleeping teen and gets a bit scared. Take a phone, and leave it so that even the youngest can ring you themselves if need be. If they are old enough to be left with a sleeping sibling they are old enough to use the phone themselves.

Thank you, thank you, thank you! I read some of the responses on here and think I live in an alternate universe. In reality, life happens and teenagers spend small amounts of time being alone and yet most of them survive.

The level of alarmism and over thinking on here goes some way to explaining the increasing anxiety amongst teenagers and young adults.

i was a helicopter parent to my eldest son and he struggled hugely when he went to uni, unaccustomed to independent thinking and problem solving. I haven’t made the same mistake with my younger 2 and I can see a real difference in their confidence. Allowing children to take on appropriate levels of responsibility is enabling and demonstrates that you have trust in their decision making.

Also to add, I became a single parent in lockdown and my view of what might be acceptable significantly shifted with necessity. Appreciate that a run isn't necessity, but children are a lot more capable than many people (including myself prior to being on my own) give them credit for.

Obviously it depends on your individual children, for me I know the most mine would do would be to drag their duvet into the lounge to watch TV

This ! The thing most likely to save your life in the case of a fire is a working smoke alarm .

I don't think that is a true story.

I think this is a good idea

Make sure they know a plan if, hope not, you had an accident and were delayed or taken to hospital.

I think it’s probably fine BUT maybe I am unlucky but I have had a few mishaps including once when I left a teenager in bed to give someone a lift and got locked out and they had gone to sleep and I rang and rang and banged on the windows and they wouldn’t wake up. I was stuck outside for hours and had to climb over the neighbour’s back fence to get in the back way.

The other time I got locked out in the garden while I had chips in the oven on gas mark 8. Fortunately the children were in the garden with me.

The other time I left my 11 year old (year 6) in the house for twenty minutes while I took my younger dc to a club. The next day they told the school I had left them and they were scared. I had a visit from social services and I was told I had to get a babysitter and never leave them again. True story.

So these days I always think of worst case scenario. If you have got a sensible 14 year old I would consider it and also the other children would have to be extremely sensible too. (Mine never were.)

Unless you have a pyromaniac or amateur plumber among their number, they should be OK.

It was not something I felt I could do as we lived in a block of flats and the fire risk was on my mind, but in retrospect that was my anxiety talking. I wish I had alerted the eldest and simply gone. A few mornings a week, it's your health, it is important

I leave mine every morning to walk the dog at 5.30 before work; they are 8, 12 and 16. Some 16 year olds have their own kids! My 8 year old is super sensible and is normally dressed and having breakfast when I get home (his twin is less sensible but he’s always fast asleep!). Honestly, it’s fine.

What kind of issues would your 8yo get into at 6.30 in the morning? Worst case mine would be delighted to be able put the TV and help himself to chocolate milk without being told it's too early.

genuine question, how do you make sure YOU are always awake when your kids are? By the time they're 8, sometimes mine wake up before me. They are told to let me and the rest of the house sleep.

How is a sleeping teenager not a responsible person? Surely you'd let a 14 year old look after an 8 year old in the day? Take them to the park? Christ, I was babysitting toddlers at 14.

OP knows her child, I'm sure they're not a teenage reprobate and are reasonably sensible, or she wouldn't be considering doing this. Children need a bit of responsibility in their teens, it's good for them.

It's the being asleep. I know my youngest could get into all kinds of issues without his sister waking up. I would want the eldest awake and actively babysitting.

I'm also a single parent to 4 and have done this frequently. They know if I'm not here I'm either on a run or walking the dog but I usually leave a note outside their rooms to say I've gone for a run and will be back by xxx time. 9/10 they aren't even awake when I get back.

Of course I left Dd aged 9 alone for run in local park with my phone.

Is it the age of the teen or the fact they are asleep? I don't know if I know particularly good teens but I wouldn't be at all worried about a 14 year old watching an 8 year old for a few hours, never mind 30 minutes!

I also do not have an issue with everyone in the house being asleep at once - this happens every day in my house, presumably you have to agree sleeping blocks so someone is always on watch like in the army.

what's your back-up plan if the OP falls in the shower and seriously injure herself or worst?

What about if the OP wanted a bath, pass out and the water floods the house and drown the children?

Surely only one adult at home is insanely risky?

What about if the OP has a stroke? What about if there's a home invasion? The OP is a woman, how could she handle 3 armed men putting her kids in danger?
What about if a commercial plane drops something that smash through the roof? What's the contingency there?
What about the risk of a blood sucking rabid bats attacking the house through a window left opened?

No woman or single adult should be left in charge of children, it's insanely risky, all the things that could happen.

I did this on occasion. I stayed fairly close to home (so ran a loop) so I could get back quickly if needed. Now they are 15 & 17 I can go on longer runs further away or to the gym without worrying.

No, I wouldn’t do this. But I am aware that I’m probably overly cautious.

Totally fine, enjoy your run.

I sometimes do this, i tell them the night before and leave a note in the kitchen in case they wake up.

And we wonder why young adults are increasingly anxious and struggling with independence!

My mum used to leave me in bed while she went to do the horses when i was little. Then come wake me up in time for school. You'll be fine, especially with the older ones in the house too :)

Yes, I would do this also. I'd make sure that I told them I was going to do it the day before and that the oldest one was aware, in particular. Also an idea of where I'll be if anything went wrong- i.e. if you fell and couldn't get to your phone (however unlikely). Also make sure your ICE contacts in your phone are activated so that if you were hurt when out (at any time) someone could get in touch with the right person easily. Good advice for anyone but particularly a single parent I think.