To leave kids in bed whilst I run

Why on earth wouldn't they survive? An 8 yo is perfectly able to react to a fire alarm by leaving the house by the nearest exit, and a 14 yo is perfectly able to remind everyone what to do if they forget.

My kids would be fine with this - and whilst they're 15 and 11 now, in lockdown they were more that age, and I had no choice but to leave them alone sometimes, so they got used to it.

Of course even now when I leave them the youngest will message me regarding if he's allowed whatever snack he's just found, but he's fine.

I'd tell them, leave a note (in case they forgot) and they'll get used to it very quickly I'd say.

Exercise is great, we should all do it.

We don't need to wait until kids are 21, but an 8yr old is young. Yes yes I'm sure lots of posters at 14yrs olds were babysitting whole classrooms of toddlers but the fact is kids shouldn't be left, asleep while a parent naffs off out.

Arrange your life better op.

This!

No, I wouldn't leave 4 kids sleeping while I went for a run .

@PopeJoan2 @WildCats24

its not the same! You don’t get the fresh air, the nature, the nice weather of a run.

So based on your post, are you suggesting that at all times someone in the house is awake?

Because you're insinuating that people can't be in a house, asleep, incase there's a fire...

What use would OP be if all were asleep and there was a fire, as you said " if they had been asleep they’d all have most likely died"

Could your youngest not get into the same issues if you were asleep though

I am sorry this happened to you, Child abuse destroys lives and we should always protect our children to the best of our abilities. But we should protect through knowledge and open communication and not by believing that we can be physically present constantly. Raising fearful children who cannot cope alone for short periods of time and see threat where it doesn’t exist is not a healthy approach.

Don’t run, OP. In fact don’t exercise at all. You’re a parent now and exercise is a luxury, not a priority.

Don’t you know children shouldn’t be left at home without you until at least the age of 21??

You spend your morning cooking breakfast ready for your kids to wake up to. Running indeed! You’re not a single woman you know!

…according to some mumsnetters anyway 🙄

@Nearly50omg

why would the neighbours report her to social services??

@greencartbluecart

why would an eight year old get very scared about their mum going out for a run??

skipping gives me a headache so that would be a no from me

If the neighbours call social services and report you for leaving children at home alone they will have something to say about it and with you having issues with your ex id personally not risk it until the youngest is 14. Run in your lunch hour at work or after work 🤷‍♀️

I can't see a judge thinking she's a bad mother for doing this. More likely he or she would see the father as being a disruptive influence.

@BoredZelda

if he’s that kind of man he’d find anything to use against her. She can’t live her life in fear

@AnonymousBleep

running on a treadmill just isn’t the same! You don’t get the fresh air, the nature, change of scene etc. there is no good reason as to why she can’t do this

I don't think going out running is an issue if you have sensible kids, but if your ex-husband is going to use this to cause trouble, I wouldn't do it. Can you set yourself up a home gym in your house? I just got a treadmill off FB marketplace for £50 and I have some hand weights and a weight bench so I'm all set for a lot less than the cost of a gym membership!

And yet… sometimes things don’t go the way you expect them to. When I was little someone who knew when my mum was out took advantage and…I am not going to go into details.

people who urge caution usually do so based on their own lived experience. We hope that what happened to us never happens to you, but we just want to let you know that things can sometimes go wrong. Take reasonable precautions then let go and enjoy your life. These things happen to ordinary people like you and me.

I used to babysit when I was that age. If your 14 year old is a functioning human being you'll be fine.

It's fine for a 14yo to babysit for 30 minutes and it's fine for a babysitter to sleep while the other children are sleeping.

The only thing I would do is make sure all the children are aware of the situation.

@merrymelody

eh?? Why??

That changes it somewhat. If the ex-husband would use it against you, I wouldn’t do it. “But Mumsnet said” isn’t a great defence in front of a judge.

It'll probably be fine but equally you could just do a work-out in the house. Plenty of good ones on YouTube and with headphones on no one would get woken up. More effective exercise too than just running. Worth considering if exercise is the aim and the ex could be an issue, along with the other potential risks.

14 is old enough to babysit and 8 is old enough to look after themselves for a short time so as long as they are all sensible and know what to do in an (unlikely) emergency I think it's fine.

I would think so as one is fourteen. It's not as if you will be out for long.

This is a good question.