Adult son wants to quit job

If he has an inheritance he won't qualify for UC?

Surely he sees you need to work unless you have private means? How come gen z can't see that?

This is why benefits should only be paid to those who have contributed.

Dies his girlfriend work?

FFS, the OP has explained that she doesn't have the resources to accommodate another adult in her home.

Even if she did, why should she cover the living expenses of her DS as a graduate? He should be working and contributing at that age.

He's your son. Why would he be paying board in his own home?

Oh my mistake,I should have taken more time to read op properly.

I think he will have a greater sense of responsibility if he pays bills. Start showing him what a room in a shared house will cost

I honestly think it is much much better that young people move out! He is at an age he should be budgeting, shopping, understanding life - this is just massively babying him

Also, surely in your early 20s it's much more fun to live with friends or at least people your own age?

Does he actually want another job or is he planning on doing nothing all day. Yes, definitely don't buy him any food

How much money was he left? I think that makes a difference. A lot of 21 year olds want to travel, etc. Does he?

If he’s just being a lazy arse and wants to continue living in your house, he needs to contribute his share.

Exactly. He's a family member living in the house. He should be paying his way, not being a passenger.

@Pickle40 my suggestion is he buys and cooks his own food, does all his laundry and gives you £140 a month towards bills, be that from wages or his inheritance - a bit of self reliance and budgeting will be good training and focus his mind that life isn’t free!!

But he should be paying half your rent and council tax.

Also, your council tax shouldn't be the same because you should no longer be getting a single occupier discount.

Have you ever asked him to contribute to bills etc?
You could always charge him for board and lodgings but put any money that the household doesn't need into a savings account secretly with the option of giving it back to him in the future if and when you feel it's appropriate.(Don't tell him this though,let him assume it is gone.)
That way you will be charging him a reasonable amount to live in your house, you won't feel you are robbing him and you will be able to tell just how much his sponging is actually impoverishing you!
I agree with the other posters. This guy needs a reality check.
As long as he has free bed and board and money of his own to run his car etc he will be oblivious to any hardship caused to you by his lack of contribution.
I would sit down with him and look up what it costs to rent a room in your area with shared bills and use that as a basis for negotiating a reasonable amount. You probably will agree on less than that but at least he will see that charging him is not unreasonable.

If you don't buy his food he'll probably order takeaways. He might even send his laundry out if you don't do it. You need to put some clear expectations in place, not tinker round the edges.

Why aren't you requesting a set sum of money for board and making it clear that it's non negotiable if he wants to continue living there?

I sometimes wonder if it’s partly because the relation dynamic between parent and child hasn’t developed/shifted. As they get older and go to uni they take on more responsibility for themselves, budgeting, doing their laundry, cooking etc. When they come back they shouldn’t revert to being a child where everything is done for them. Society seems to want to infantilise young adults. As for benefits for under 25 being paid to the mother - how ridiculous and a good example of it.

I would be having a reset conversation and be raising expectations in telling him he needs to contribute both financially and with chores. If he has to use his inheritance then that’s his choice.

It all seems to be very easy to quit these days because it’s sooooo haarrrrd and boring and it affects their mental health. If young people out as much effort into building resilience as they do gazing at their phones/gaming etc they might find they can cope a bit better. We ALL have mental health, like physical health, and we need to learn to manage it not just give up at the first hurdle.

That’s a shame that he wants to just spend that money. Does he not want to save up to buy a place of his own? Encourage the idea of using that money as a deposit. He can add to it every month from his pay, pay some to you and look for a better paying job. That would be the ideal.
Unfortunately, many young people don’t have vision.

Don't think OP said son is 18 in first post, just a general people are adults at 18 plus so can do what they want.

Which he can't if he's living in OP's house.

If he has an inheritance in his bank account then he absolutely can just move out. If he spends it all on rent and beer whilst not working, tough shit, he'll have taken a windfall and pissed it up the wall. Once it's gone, it's gone forever.

You are doing him a real disservice by not charging him rent.

Tell him that since he is an adult with money in his bank account, he can either pay you £600 a month to live at home or he can move out. Whether he works, and how many hours he works, is up to him.

My parents charged 10% of my salary each month which was a token amount. But yes, easier to find a job when you have a job.

You need to start charging him rent to cover bills including food. I would charge £100 per week. If he quits he can use his inherited money. He'll soon get a job when he starts running out of money. Is it worth him going to take a job test, to see what kind of job suits him best. Then he can look at course/apprenticeships that help him into those kind if jobs?

It’s fine to quit a job at that age but it’s absolutely not fine to pay your own way. I was paying rent as soon as I left uni. In fact, it was the fact that my folks wouldn’t let me live rent free that gave me the kick up the arse to get a better job and a house share.

You are doing him no favours by letting him live rent free in your house and your brain.