OH friends drunkenly messed with my possessions

OP seems to have an issue with her drunk partner and her drunk friends, who, based on her claims, did not “behave appropriately.”
It’s why I purposely omitted the word ”adults.”

Your drunken husband is pissed off that you held him to account and is now punishing you.

Is he normally an arsehole?
Are you happily married?

No more dru ken niggts in your home.
Let them go to a pub.

He doesn't sound like any great prize.

No one should have to hide things away in their own home. That is ridiculous.

I would never ever go into someone's home and start picking up ornaments, photos etc. That is just rude but I guess I was brought up properly unlike some of the posters here

It’s not just her home, her husband lives there too and ought to be able to have friends over. People are allowed to get drunk, be silly and generally have fun at any age.

And for context, they moved some stuff, they didn’t trash the house.

We can’t expect others to intuitively know what is sentimental and meaningful to us so it’s not the best idea to have precious stuff to hand.

I’m usually a girls’ girl but this op has embarrassed her DH and impacted his friendships. I would be backtracking and concerned about the damage done to the relationship.

So you think it's ok for OP's partner to open up their home to a bunch of drunks while she is away?

And to get so drunk himself he has no recollection of what actually happened?

I dont think objecting to people interfering with her private possessions in her own home is over reaction at all but there are bigger issues at stake here .

" I dont think there's anyone in the world would consider fridge magnets to be untouchable"

That's your opinion.

People collect all sorts of items; thimbles, china bells, badges, dolls, animal skulls, buttons, etc and are very protective of them.

However, I'm not sure if OP made it clear to her OH that she didn't want them moved.

This ^^ and also I'd be annoyed by that, it feels creepy and rude especially it was done while they were drunk and your partner was too drunk to stop them or even remember what had happened.

I remember years ago my then OH friends when drunk moved my neighbours hanging baskets to my door, of course I put them back as soon as I realised, it still makes me laugh to think back to it.

He's already admitted that he doesn't remember them doing it "because he was drunk".

I get you're upset, but I dont think there's anyone in the world would consider fridge magnets to be untouchable. Maybe they saw some unusual ones, had a closer look and put them back in a different spot - perfectly normal, they probably didn't think they had a particular arrangement. Nothing was damaged and to cry that some things were moved seems like an overreaction.

What an odd comment. I have DC and now GDC. Very little has ever been damaged and usually only a very occasional accident like dropping a cup or something. Because I taught mine to be careful and respectful, and helped them to learn how to do things they needed. If you let yours run feral and destroy stuff, that’s on you.

He might not have seen them doing it, e.g. if he was in the bathroom or the kitchen at the time.

It doesn’t matter if they’re ’only magnets and photos’ to other people on here, they’re your holiday keepsakes and memories and they’re important to you. I’d be pissed off too. I probably wouldn’t have got them to apologise but I’d be making it clear to your partner that I was upset and pissed off!

It doesn't sound like they needed the run of the home - it sounds like the possessions in question were on display in the room where they were. Would it have been clear that they were your personal possessions, OP? I do think that, given these things were on display and nothing was damaged, just rearranged slightly, you are over-reacting a bit.

If they weren't damaged I'd probably find it quite funny to be honest.

FFS everyone should have an expectation that things in their home shouldn’t be moved around by drunken men acting like toddlers - we have no right to question what sentimental value other things have.

and the expectation that she should be cool about it?

saying they could never visit again - overreaction
demanding compensation etc - overreaction

asking for an apology isn’t. Do we really want to live in a world where an apology for moving sentimental stuff is seen as prissy and demanding becuase I dont

@FeministUnderTheCatriarchy agree completely

Drunk men in their 30's mess with someone's possessions "for fun", but OP is the problem and should lighten up...

Yeah, no.

Well done OP for actually saying something. Who cares if they are laughing.
Act like naughty children, get treated like one.

I'm sick of grown men acting like idiot teenagers and us having to be "cool girls" about it.

Honestly you’ve really badly overreacted. They will think you’re so prissy and demanding an apology is just so bizarre. On the plus side, I doubt you’ll see them much anymore.

I’d cross posted with you, they don’t like you anyway. So yes of course they’d be laughing, but you knew that before you demanded an apology of them.

Nothing was damaged

Don’t decide someone is an alcoholic based on one incident.

Are you always so prove to embellishment and drama?

If they were out on display then I don’t think they did anything wrong at all. You are overreacting.

If they were away in a drawer or bedroom then I understand why you were upset.

It's not a public area though is it? It's in her house.

I expect my things to be safe in my house, not to have to hide them away.

OP had created a display of things that were meaningful to her - they messed with it. It's not unreasonable to be upset about this.

@IdiottoGoa I think there is a difference between picking up a book to start a conversation or the same with an ornament and touching and moving around ornaments when drunk.

what adult does that? And if they do don’t realise and want to apologise

Theyre not children!

@Tiswa (sorry quote disappeared because of that stupid swipe thing)

Eh?

I don’t just have adults in my house?

But equally, many people (me included) wouldn’t know the difference between a book that’s worth £1500 and one that’s worth £1.50, or a book that’s from a charity shop v one that my grandma used to read so if it’s likely to ever become an issue it’s our responsibility to take control of that.

I have no objection at all (and I think it’s very natural) to anyone coming into my house and picking up photos or ornaments or books to ask questions, they might get put back in a different place or upside down. The only house I’ve ever been in where that’s not OK was my grandparents, no body felt welcome and you felt like you had to sit on the edge of the sofa for fear of putting a dent in it. They would tell people not to touch. If you don’t people touching things you either need to protect them somehow or let them know somehow.