OH friends drunkenly messed with my possessions

I was brought up properly, thanks very much!

Not sure what makes you think your upbringing was superior to people that happen to disagree with you?

Were you brought up to insult people that disagree with? I don’t think that reflects a “proper upbringing” to be honest.

Also, do you have to much time on your hands.

Oh, stop being so bloody precious. A couple of drunk mates looked at the things you had on display. That's it. Nothing was mislaid, damaged or stolen. Stop being a prissy old woman to your hubby.

I agree with a PP, if you have to ask for an apology, it isn't worth much.

I'd have let it go, perhaps with the caveat of saying to your OH, next time can you make sure noone touches my things.

It's hard for me to weigh in further - my friends would never mess with stuff in our house, nor would we mess with other peoples stuff so I'd never now be in that position and can't imagine any circumstance where I'd be so drunk and reckless with my husband's stuff, because its his, not mine.

Bit mean.

When I am at others houses I look at their displays but never touch unless invited to. Isn't that normal behaviour?

So she may not care, but I’d not want people to laugh or eye rolling at me, because I demanded an apology.

Its ridiculous to demand an apology IMO, it means nothing.

I think your fella is unbelievably immature to be getting drunk with mates while you were away. That is 'laddish' behaviour which most people outgrow when they set up home with someone. I'm not surprised you were annoyed and he is making it worse by being cross with you.

I agree with this and think the OP is getting a weirdly hard time about this.
It was absolutely right to ask for an apology and acknowledge that they shouldn't have done it in the first place. I don't get why the DP is so angry with her about that; he should've given his friends a piece of his mind in her defence.

So?

😂

people are shameful 😂

to be fair, if I had to tell my friends my husband is expecting an apology for having touched and moved slightly a sports trophy display in a communal room, I would tell them that he can't take a joke and is ridiculously uptight.

We had some friends round once and a chair moved and the cutlery wasn’t all lined up either, they weren’t even drunk. That was the last we saw of them.

They didn’t break anything just touched it, you sound a bit like that woman in Misery.

You are totally overreacting and crying because the fridge magnets were moved?

You sound really emotionally attached to these material items, and if that’s the case then how would anyone know this? You just have them thrown up on a wall on display. It’s unfair of you to expect these strange men to read your mind.

the husband was there....
People were literally with their friend, the husband...

Maybe a big sign "Property of the OP, DO NOT TOUCH" is needed?

Total non event. You would look a fool if you said anything about this.

And just to add that in order to elicit an apology from his friends, he no doubt slagged you off to high heaven.

"The misses can't take a joke and is giving me an earful"

"I can't believe she is being so uptight, can you apologise to get her off my back"

Etc.

I'd hate to be cast in this light for his mistake. It reminds me of a (bad) relationship I had in my early 20s where his mates always came first and he would tell thwm one thing and me another and it messed with my head and other friendships. It was a long few years before I figured out I was better off without him.

I think your OH taking full responsibility was a very good reaction and should have been enough.

I agree with this. They may have thought they had consent to do this if he never intervened and or was part of it. Or even if they should’ve known and did know they shouldn’t have been messing with OPs stuff, it was his responsibility to ensure nothing was touched.
So an apology from him would’ve sufficed.

Don’t get me wrong, I can be funny with my personal stuff too so wouldn’t have liked it, but I’d be happy enough if my partner assured me it wouldn’t happen again and he’d talk to his friends.

For a start, picking up or touching something if the owner is there is a bit different although I still would not do it unless it was a close friend or sibling maybe.

Secondly you don't need to pick something up or touch it to say something about it do you?

I have a fridge covered in magnets and whilst I would not be fainting in horror if someone took one off I definitely would not be happy to come home and find they had been moved around.

I wouldn't either I don't think, but I wouldn't faint in horror and feel violated if a friend was touching a photo frame or something and make a comment about it, or was taking a magnet from the fridge I don't have any but that's not the point to have a look or say something about it.

I think it's perfectly reasonable for you to ask for an apology, and I'm glad that they seemingly did so willingly. The only one with an issue is your husband, who (I'm supposing) feels that he's 'lost face' in some way through you 'making' him ask them to apologize. It's his issue, and I hope he is apologetic too, about both the incident and the current strop. You did nothing wrong. 👍

But I felt really upset, angry, and kind of violated as if someone had been through my personal things.

They didn't exactly go through your underwear drawer kept in your own bedroom, did they?

You are ridiculous - and the fact that your DH was there!
Did they just all looked at things

Nothing was damaged or missing - it's not the most polite thing to do, but it wouldn't occur to anyone that touching and moving magnets on a fridge - in front of the host! - or on a display board be such a big deal

Are you sure you’re not looking for a reason to get angry because he had some mates around and had some fun while you were away?

You sound very controlling op, and your bf sounds like a softer kind of personality.

He didn’t stand up effectively to his drunken friends which means one of two things - either he’s just not that into you, or his friends don’t respect him.

He also didn’t stand his ground in the face of your demand for a forced apology, even though he thought (and I agree) that it was unreasonable.

These sort of situations happen in the early stages of relationships and can trigger some reflection that leads to more responsible and adult choices going forwards. When you’re shamefacedly apologising to your upset gf, it puts the high jinx of the night before in context, and can cause a man to seriously rethink his priorities.

But instead of that, you forced an issue like a school teacher with a bold child. All he’s left with is resentment.

If you don’t like the way you’re treated, you’re absolutely in your rights to walk away. I would rethink a relationship where I’m the butt of the joke with his friends, because I would want that to matter to him, drunk or not. The thing is, that if he doesn’t feel that way about you, you can’t force him to, any more than you can force a genuine apology.

You don’t have to accept being treated badly but humiliating another person isn’t the answer.

Of course you can have personal possessions with children. I know plenty of people with young children and houses full of ornaments, plants etc.

Children can be taught to respect things you know