OH friends drunkenly messed with my possessions

I have one rule: people before things. Nothing will be gained from apologies except hard feelings. If something was broken, I'd agree with you, but nothing was, so this more in line with annoyance. Next time they are over you can ask them not to muck about in the future, but apology? They didnt do anything wrong, really.

@Zahia Sorry to raise alarm where it might not be warranted. But I came home from a weekend away once to find my personal stuff had been moved, I just noticed the place felt different, then slowly noticed that pictures and personal stuff specifically of mine was rearranged.
A month later my boyfriend left me for someone else. (He'd obviously put stuff away so it didn't look like i lived there)
Did the apology come second hand from your OH or from the friends directly?

Expecting an apology is a bit odd. Those relationships are now blighted.

...OP are you ok? This is an extreme reaction to something that is absolutely nothing, mildly annoying at worst if you're already having a really bad week I guess?

It could just as easily. have been drunken women. I don’t think it is specific to men? Tbh not something I would get too worked up about.

I’m confused what you mean by this? Can you explain how it connects to ops post?

Nothing astonishes me these days in how women accept mens wrongful behaviour.

It's not way out - I'm honestly astonished how many people think these mens behaviour is acceptable

Wow. Who doesnt like you for you to put this way out there response?

Well now his friends just think you’re uptight and will be mocking you behind your back for the foreseeable.

nothing missing or broken. Yes is annoying; but you could have just asked OH to tell them not to if they try to do it again in the future. You’ve gained nothing from this.

It is but I think OP has gone totally over the top. No harm was meant.

Well obviously not brought up to not touch things in other peoples homes unless they are very close friends or family.

I think it is rude to touch and/or move things in someone's home.

Well yes I clearly said the relationship broke down to the extent we moved out and never spoke again it was a message they were sending.

just like in @hazelowens example with the brothers the older one is clearly sending his younger brother a message but also as a joke

and I think here is the same based on the reactions that it shows the friends don’t like her

they moved it around either because they were so drunk

they did it as a joke

they did it because they don’t like her and were making a point to say so

I would not have made the visitors apologise in the first place, not too much time on my hands, coffee break, and lunch time.
You are a idiot to comment without knowing my circumstances.

That just sounds like boy/men behaviour. My youngest knows where everything is in his room. If anyone has been in there and touched anything he just knows and because of this his older brother goes in and moves things a few mm this way. My youngest has funko pops that he collects and his brother will move one and put it on another shelf. He times him to see how long it takes him to realise. The longest has been 5 mins.

Why would you be upset about people playing with ornaments if you weren't sentimental about them? You left them in a public shared space. I think you were just annoyed about something else reallly, you should expect that display objects are likely to be touched from time to time.

Yeah digressing just a bit…… 🙄

If they're on display, the intimation is that they're there to look at. I'm assuming these were in the living room, dining room or kitchen, 'public' areas for visitors. Bedrooms and studies, obviously not.

I have photographs and a few other items that are important to me on display in my living room because I like to have them there and I like other people to see them. But if I didn't want people looking at them or even handling them - people often like to pick up photographs, for instance - I'd put them away.

The drunken bit is a bit disturbing, but how drunk were they, and as you weren't there, how do you know? It was really up to your OH to say, 'She doesn't like people touching those.' You can't really expect visitors to know that things on display are not really on display, if you see what I mean.

It’s not about their comfort though is it! This is OP’s home and her things should be respected. She is not there for everyone else’s benefit after all …..

No my room was locked they were in the living room. my room was locked because I knew that they would potentially do something to my stuff

no the issue was that by doing so they were sending a message about exactly what the state of our friendship was

as is the OH and his friends based on his reaction

you don’t always need words to convey a message

and I never said they were sentimental they weren’t all it was just they were mine.

Maybe they felt comfortable at the thought u cud take a joke and now you’ve made it clear u can’t!

People in a home fiddle with ornaments lying around shelves...

Simplest solution with flatmates would usually be "don't go in my room when I'm not there" and keep private items in your room. Had you expressed to these flatmates that the rhinos were highly sentimental and personal? Was the issue thay they went in your room?

Adults demanding other adults make an apology is just bizarre.

You know apologies mean nothing if not freely given? I don't understand why you'd want to affect your future relationships with these people like that.

If I were your partner I'd be deeply embarrassed and rethinking the relationship. You sound a lot of hard work.

If someone doesn't want someone to touch their things, they need to put them away behind a glass screen

Hide them away? In her own home? When she probably enjoys just looking at them daily?

Put them away behind a glass screen, just in case ADULTS visit???
Ridiculous....

Errrm Yes