To find days off with my kids almost unbearable?

Op isn't saying that - she saying she currently not enjoying her days off with her kids the ages they are.

Not that she expected chidlren to be easy - that's you twisting what she is saying - not sure why honestly - to feel superior - all parents I know had bad days.

I had some terrible days - my kids are ND - often what made it hard was other people not accepting they were different and us learning how to parent them not theoretical kids we envisaged.

You don't need a high quality crystal balls to know your life will no longer be happily and lazily child-free when you decide to have children...

You don't need a crystal ball to know that you won't be able to go away for the weekend with no notice and just do your own things?

Come on...

Why do people have kids if they resent weekends and holidays, it's highly depressing.

Some of us don't have high quality crystal balls. Plus many find it a passing phase and they do rapidly grow out of it and then it's on to the next one - which may or not be better.

I didn't know the quirks my kids would have or things I thought I'd love I'd actually hate and things I thought sounded awful are the best memories I have. I didn't realise money would be so tight - didn't forsee so many moves caused by job changes out of our control meaning I built support networks and lost them honestly thought our extended families would be more help - as they said they would.

Personally I didn't realise how much fun it would overall be - and despite that there were still bad days and more difficult times.

while the toddler is climbing on the toilet cistern to try and get the toilet bleach and toilet brush if you leave them for more than 5 minutes without checking in

if you know they will try and you know it's accessible.. dare I ask why on earth you leave it there?

I am very chilled about child-proofing, but come on? You leave your medicines in their reach too?

I had 3 under 5 at home all last summer and it was unbelievably hard. I could never do it again. I am now back to work part time after maternity leave. I have noticed its hard in a different way. I feel on my 2 week days at home I should try and do some housework but it's basically impossible. So I focus on having dinner prepared for the evening and the house reasonably tidy (toys lifted, dishwasher eptied, beds made) thats it. Then I go to an exercise class to clear my head in the evening. This has been my complete lifeline. So if you could get some time to yourself on yhose evenings it would help I think. It is a battle and so, so hard at times so I don't think you are unreasonable for struggling especially when you have a job, house work, mental load etc etc. You love your children but your only human and being a mummy is the hardest job of all xx

Don't worry, you'll find something else to complain against.

Having kids IS hard work, at any age. Different age, different challenges.

The question why bother having kids if you dread weekends and holidays still stands! That wasn't directed at YOU personally the OP, just the people who constantly moan about having kids home at weekends.

I expect those people will be back to tell you you'll miss it. Hey I know, maybe now would be a great time to have another one!

I do feel for you, OP - I've won the second child lottery so I have one who fucking loves his buggy in addition to his many other excellent qualities, and it's still really hard going out with both children and no other parent. I've got a dog as well, because I'm an idiot.

Some people in this thread must’ve had less lively toddlers than I had! “Just let them play alone while you get dinner ready!” - as if the 4 year old won’t be attempting to do cartwheels off the sofa while the toddler is climbing on the toilet cistern to try and get the toilet bleach and toilet brush if you leave them for more than 5 minutes without checking in

Better house lay out for that age?

We've always had kichen tables - playdough or other activties could be supervised - even in the rented houses prior to buying - and all bar current one I could see TV from kitchen and we moved here when youngest was 6 - it's proven a good lay out for older kids and teens but would have been harder with toddlers.

I also allowed that time of day TV - we'd been busy all day often out running their energy down - and if they couldn't behave they lost the TV. So I was a bad mummy as that included younger kids as toddlers watching number jacks or Charlie & Lola along side eldest. They seem to have turned out okay though.

Exactly.

DC are constantly growing and changing and it's ridiculous to say that you shouldn't have DC if you don't like the baby stage or the toddler stage or whatever stage it may be.

I hated the baby stage and wasn't going to not have more DC just because of that. You just have to get through it.

You had kids. ….

Ignore them OP. Misery loves company!!

They sound like a tough age to handle together. Have you thought about trying the toddler in a trike with a handle? We found it brilliant when DS started to dislike his pram/pushchair!

Hang on in there, then things will be a whole lot easier when big one is in school. It's OK for the kids to do your hear in, I've always been so patient but recently 3.5 year old can absolutely do my head in!

THIS!

Why do people have kids if they resent weekends and holidays, it's highly depressing.

Imagine living in a house where you mum keeps telling you she can't wait for you to bugger off to school so she doesn't get to see you all day.

I don't know if it's just selfish and lazy behaviour, or people who expected to carry on their child-free life, and are most amazed you actually do things around kids when you have them.

I love weekends, but I don't expect a magical fairy to organise them, it's on me the adult to plan them so no-one is bored or waste their time doing housework.

There's not much to plan with kids anyway, once they are in Primary school, between their weekend clubs, all the birthday parties, playdates, sleepovers when they get a bit older, it's hard to slot any family time if you want some 😂

Birthday parties start in nursery! (I think parents are mad, it's expensive and a bit young, but it's lovely to have the entertainment offered to your child, I am always grateful for every birthday invitation we've always got)

I felt the same a few years ago - it definitely gets easier! Mine are both at school now and I enjoy taking time off in the school holidays - it's completely different experience! I remember the stress of it feeling like the kids were crying all the time, or battering each other, or needing nappies changing, snacks preparing etc etc and before you know it the house is a tip and you haven't done a thing with your day. Days out were always my way out as well but I hear you with the age gap - ride it out - it'll be so much nicer in a couple of years!

I don't need to clean 1 hour every morning for a start

and I have never needed to spend 1 hour cleaning once they were in bed either!

I am a clean freak, my house is always visitor ready, so it WAS (and is) all done every evening, but come on. You tidy up the toys as they go. While they are playing, it's a free for all, but when they move on, you tidy what they abandoned. How long does it take.

Toys being currently played with are not a mess, just toys. 5mn to put away.

How are people making their lives so insanely difficult I'll never know.

I wasn’t complaining about it, I meant because the Op was looking forward to her son going to school. But the simple solution could have been to send him to school/nursery for a half day.

having a new born means you are sleep deprived and exhausted for pretty much AT LEAST the first year, unless you have family members who take over at the weekend, or a nanny.

what else is new?

It's not easy, but we all knew what we were going for. It's more surprising when it's easier than expected 😂

Some people in this thread must’ve had less lively toddlers than I had! “Just let them play alone while you get dinner ready!” - as if the 4 year old won’t be attempting to do cartwheels off the sofa while the toddler is climbing on the toilet cistern to try and get the toilet bleach and toilet brush if you leave them for more than 5 minutes without checking in 🙄

Adding to my previous comments, another thing that I found really hard about that age is that the 4 year old starts wanting to do things like crafts and board games, but if you’re on your own you can’t really help them or play with them. You just spend the entire time trying to defend them from their younger sibling who wants to “help” (no matter what you try and distract the sibling with - they always want to join in with the older one). And if you do let the toddler join in, you have to stand over them like a helicopter so they don’t chuck paint everywhere, or break things or try to eat little beads or board game counters, or just trash the whole thing. And then there are the tantrums when you try and stop the toddler from trashing the older child’s game/picture. It’s so hard.

I remember feeling quite miserable at this stage- similar gap. It does improve- I home educate so it can't be too awful for me. I'm with my kids alllllllllll theeeeeeeee time.

Top tips: find other mums! You must socialise not for them. For you. Of course motherhood is fucking miserable if you are isolated. It was never meant to be like the experience that many modern women in the industrialised world have.

Be outside! Preferably with other mums .

Make quiet time a thing. The oldest is a great age to start. Do it while the little one has a nap.

Good luck and try to appreciate the little moments when you can. Before anyone says, no, I'm not wearing rose coloured glasses or invalidating anyone's suffering but a more positive mindset will help.

Calm down, nursery isn't compulsory! I expect he already goes on mum's working days or some form of childcare.

But not for everyone.

Which is why calling OP ridiculous for finding it hard is mean spirited.

It’s their ages! They’re really hard ages to have at the same time - or at all tbh.

Id get out of the house as much as possible and don’t try to hard to “get things done” with them about. A 1 yo is a complete use of your time on their own!

Lol. Yes just letting the one year old entertain themselves for an hour while you clean. It’s really not that simple. Plus wizzing around the house after they are finished in bed is realistically an hour so that’s your night gone in most cases.

I could have written this OP, I have two boys aged 4 and 2 and I have two days off a week with them which I find more stressful than my working days (which I feel awful about).

I do find it easier on the days where I get them out of the house as early as possible for as long as possible - museum, library, park and lunch etc. And using reins to keep the little one within arms reached has solved the problem of them running in opposite directions.

I know I’ll miss it when my 4 year old goes to school this year but it is really hard to entertain / manage them both on my own.