To find days off with my kids almost unbearable?

(And the jousting show is great too- kids were all mesmerised)

My 1yo absolutely loved the Zog stuff at Warwick. They’re about to start a new play of it as well because they’re bringing out Zog and the flying doctors 😊

Could DH/DP take a day of AL to have little one?

I know you know your situation, but you sound like you're resigned to being unable to have any fun with your kids and sometimes you just need to find a way to do it, even if it means going outside of the norm.

I get it. I only have one but she's very strong willed and very smart and must be busy at all times so she's amazing but hard work and sometimes I would rather be at work. And that makes me feel guilty but it is what it is.

Find a way to have some fun with your eldest. Ask a friend to come with you and keep an eye on little one. Heck, ask me, DD is 3, she'd love Zog land, it's not far from us, I keep meaning to take her.

🙄

OP, I hear ya.

So put little one in childcare or take her to grandparents on one of your non working days, just once (it won't hurt her, promise) and take him on his own.

It'll be lovely for little one to have some one on one with grandparents or to have an "adventure" in nursery on a different day and it'll be lovely for eldest to have mummy to himself for a day out.

It's win win.

And whining is international! All kids from all backgrounds and cultures have perfected that sound. Went swimming a while back and there were a couple of little Polish girls in the changing room speaking Polish but with that tone to their voices while talking to their mum

Actually yes this - much better!

Surely it's 4 days a week if OP has weekends off also

Why don't you go at the weekend or one day when your partner has a day off so you can all go?

Do you know what, you're right. One child sleeping for an hour a day is a LOT (🙄) and absolutely means that the remaining hours in the day can't be hard work when you have two children who have vastly different needs.

People feel differently to you in all scenarios. Try and open your mind and see that.

I found it no problem at all when DD dropped her nap. From how jealous you sound of OPs sleeper, I imagine you would have quite liked one who slept more and found it tiring when they didn't sleep well. Shall I tell you that's ridiculous?

Why don't you take a day off (annual leave), take elder child out of nursery for the day and take him to the Zog thing on his own? While younger is at nursery/in childcare?

Or, if you have grandparents who are involved, or a reliable babysitter, utilise them? Or take grandparents with you to entertain younger?

Do it like a special one on one day before he starts nursery.

Its absolutely acceptable, and good for the kids, to have some one on one time.

It isn't rude to say that you don't need advice about activities etc when it isn't finding activities to do that is the issue. Neither is it rude to say that you already have a routine or that toddler group no longer really works when you have a 4 year old ready to start school.

I honestly think a great deal is about your (one’s) expectations and doing planning.

When DC3 was 6 months old, DP’s employer told him he had been assigned to a project 240 miles away for 18 months. He had never had to be away more than one night a month before that.

I had a 6yo with autism, 3yo with ADHD and small baby. Quite frankly, I let standards of housekeeping drop like a stone, easiest meals I could Chuck together one handed and had DC3 in a sling until she was too big to need a buggy.

Almost every task was a “game” the children played because it wouldn’t happen otherwise. Taking turns choosing the song we would race to clean up before the end of, “World Championships” of hopping competitions or star jumps or whatever while I cooked the food, Being A Restaurant in which getting to lay the table was a treat (I learned that from reading Tom Sawyer).

I know it’s draining and you can’t meet everyone’s needs all the time, but as long as everyone gets a bit of something they like, it’s not as bad as all that.

They’re adults now and still think we played great games when they were small. The middle one twigged this year that most of the “games” were just ways for me to cope.

She said almost and said she was simply venting.

Where was she rude? If some could bother to read her posts, she wouldn’t have to repeat herself.

Tbf, you’ve been quite rude to any poster who says they find it hard too because it was seemingly easy or simple for you when you don’t have the same children or know their circumstances.

Thank you for making this post!

just spent the afternoon waiting in for a washing machine with my 4 and 1 year old... they squabble and whine the whole time.

managed to do some baking this evening but now my husband has come home complaining about the mess in the kitchen from the baking...

I have gone out with the dog.. had enough of today :(

You are the one making a thread asking if YABU to find days with your kids "Unbearable" your word

This is a public forum, yes I think YAB massively U to find it "unbearable" in the circumstances you explained.

When posters suggested things you could do that could help, you rudely told them you didn't want advice, just people to agree that everything is a negative.
So I am saying YABU.

I also said YABU to the poster complaining that if she didn't watch her toddler, he would reach for the bleach. Instead of you know.. putting the bleach away where he couldn't reach?

It's bizarre to be irritated because posters (not even me) point out things that make your own life harder than it needs be.

It’s hard balancing the needs of those 2 ages but I promise it will get easier. The older one starting school will be a game changer. Hang in there!

I should also say (as someone who has the exact same age gap as you), the more you are at home the less demanding they are.

Think about it: they’re only having you to themselves two days a week. So they’re likely to compete for your attention and play up a lot more.

That’s why, counter-intuitively. the solution isn’t to spend less time with them but more.