To find days off with my kids almost unbearable?

Mine too. It's be a privilege to have their needs rather than the weight of grief.

We all love our children but I didn't have children at all for the baby/toddler years, I do enjoy the toddler part more because they are more interactive and interesting yet I don't find every single thing that they do to be interesting.

I like museums, amusement parks, swimming and even soft play. I'd definitely pick all of them over playing pretend play, painting or building things. Though my 2 year old doesn't agree with my opinion about museums yet and amusement parks will be more interesting when they can ride the bigger rides.

I think this latest bit of the discussion is still just showing how different all the individual children are. I had a unicorn toddler who was (and still is) happy to sit and listen to stories for an entire hour. Sometimes even all different ones! Some of his friends won't listen to one story all the way through. But either way, I couldn't do that if his younger brother was awake and rampaging, so you still have the difficulty of trying to meet two different sets of needs at once.

Same goes for the park and soft play. My 4yo is quite physically confident and can be pretty independent at the playpark - unless he's in a clingy mood, in which case he 'needs help' all the time. My friend's 4yo won't go on the climbing frame without a parent hovering underneath. I might manage the park with both my kids; I couldn't do it with my rampaging 1yo and my friend's 4yo.

I am not sure why people have children - it's a basic drive to replenish the species, I suspect. I have no interest in children at any age (a huge disadvantage considering my ex pushed me into being a teacher because I would then have the same holidays as him (and also earn less than him) - I prefer admin and never felt successful as a teacher) but I was interested in my own at every stage. Perhaps it helps that I like painting, reading stories, making stories up, visiting museums and amusement parks, swimming, music and singing...? I love my children - everything I did with them and that they did was a matter of interest to me. But people are different, of course, and no-one can control what they feel.
FWIW I don't enjoy reading stories to my DGC or playing with them etc - the interest was just in my DC (tho' I love the DGC, naturally). I am a distinctly hands-off grandparent - unless they are interested in acting.

Because not everyone likes doing young kids stuff. People don't have children just for the preschool stage. there's many more years after

It could have been better worded, indeed.
What worries me is the number of people on here who don't enjoy reacting with and being with their young children. Yes, sometimes it's a bloody chore and I just want to read a book, paint a picture, clean the cooker (never want to do that - that's a chore) rather than read 'Rosie's Walk' one more time. But a great deal of it is interacting with small people who are new and see the world new - not saying sitting on the floor building brick castles that DC knocks down or doesn't like isn't boring, but it's only boring sometimes - and you can read 'Rosies' 'bloody 'Walk' again in a minute - though I preferred stories about dinosaurs. (But DS's fave book was a cheap copy of 'Aladdin', a pop-up book from Tescoes, I was forever sellotaping it - would never throw it away, of course, one does not throw books away!)

This is parenthood - welcome to the club(!)

Just wait until you also have elderly parent's needs to deal with. I don't know how old you are, but, for me, as my DH was the youngest child & MIL was into her early 40's when she had him. One of his brothers lives in NZ the other about a 5 hour drive away so no help from them. I had 4 children at home when MIL started needing support taking her to medical appointments, rapidly increasing to visiting every day, organising carers, dealing with her admin etc. Then my father was diagnosed with Parkinson's, mum had a stroked (she was 57) which disabled her down her left hand side - she was left handed.

All became rather fraught dealing with teens, a job and a business. I ended up weighing 4.5 stone & size 4 clothes were baggy on me-admittedly I'm only 5'1 tall, but I was skinny & looked ill. Colleagues tell me that they thought I had cancer.

Put your youngest in a buggy surely? She's 1, making a 4 yr old dawdle will be a nightmare.

Softplay or the park will work for both, I've the same age gap and it's a tricky one but my 1 hr old could be pushed round museums, join in at softplay, go on my back in sling to get a good view at zoos etc etc.

Getting things done I couldn't master at that age, we did everything at nights and weekends.

Yes parenthood is hard. Your poor children!

No, I was just trying to explain why others do like reading to children and that literature is not just found in books for adults.

Op look on it professionally and look up early years fyc or something like that to get structure in.
But also it will highlight all the incredible things that are happening to them even when it seems like a tough day for you.
I'm sure it's been mentioned but church hall toddler groups where toddler can run off steam and cheap and usually baby toys also

Finally as gruelling as it is remember how valuable these relaxed and chilled days with you are...

Exactly.

It can absolutely be tedious to read with a toddler, especially a young toddler with very little attention span who is more interested in just turning the pages or looking at the book themselves (upside down, of course).

I found the time when I had a four year old and a baby and worked three days the best time of my life. However, it’s not for everyone. It’ll be different when your son starts school. I suppose you just have to hang on till then.

I'm very aware of the benefits of reading to children and for the 3rd time, I do it daily so I'm not sure why you keep acting like I'm unaware of the benefits. I am, I still find it dull and I can't help that.

The Tiger who Came to Tea (and other books by Judith Kerr) have a simplicity of diction and syntax with which children can engage whilst also containing a complex story with imaginative undertones that can be discussed with children - and Kerr illustrated her own work so that the pictures reflect the text well. It's as beautiful in its way as a Shakespeare sonnet or the opening of 'Bleak House', or 'Emma'. It's literature and is a book (like the others I mentioned) that feeds a child's imagination and can be read again and again. I was as curious as my DC what happened to the tiger and where he had come from! As for Sendak's Where the Wild Things Are it illustrates the consequences of tantrums but also that mum will always love you. Entrancing and an important message for children.
What is it that you enjoy that you cannot enjoy beautiful children's books? (My DD still reads E. Nesbit and she is well past childhood and likes Austen, McEwan and also G. Heyer's deeply funny historical romances. Can't stand Dickens, sadly, had a bad case of 'Hard Times' for A level.)

Talk to DP so they understand nothing gets done on those days. Accept the mess and a quick meal. My mother was a SAHM but didn't want to be with me just wanted to do housework and cook from scratch, bake etc. Create a good routine as it does help.

*phase

I remember having the read the Mr Men books over and over at one stage. It's a faze, they are teens and quite miss the times of reading to them now.

Of course I have. I agree that they are wonderfully illustrated but I didn't consider them wonderful to read, particularly The Tiger Who Came to Tea. I really don't understand the fuss with that one.

As I said, I do these things daily but they aren't enjoyable to me.

Many many people do it. Tbh I had more hassle in Egypt and Turkey. . Mind you I was in my 40s not a teenager and an experienced traveller.

Many many women travel alone all over the world. That's a post for another thread though

You were lucky, I think. My DD aged 15, visiting relatives, was not allowed out without a chaperone (and I endorse this and I do not come from that culture) - because unaccompanied women are liable at least to harassment. India has a culture of misogyny which women there are fighting hard. Rapists are often supported by their families and clans and women blamed for the attack. It is not safe for women on their own, really it is not.

Have you tried books such as 'Where the Wild Things Are', 'The Tiger Who Came to Tea', 'Mr Rabbit and the Lovely Present', 'Rosie's Walk', 'Room on the Broom', the Meg and Mog books, 'Mog the Forgetful Cat'? Books which are wonderful to read, and wonderfully illustrated. Have a look. You need to feed your DC's imagination...and your own.

I've travelled alone there for a month. Why is it so much more dangerous with a teenager in tow?

It wasn't India I took him to anyway . Not sure where you got that idea