Swimming pool and kids

Honestly yes I did miss it. Your first post was so sensible and I agree with everything you said there. I didn’t clock that a follow up of ‘if he insists’ and ‘I’m sure daddy will play with you’ could be written by the same poster because it’s so at odds with your brilliant first post… He shouldn’t be able to insist because it’s so bloody dangerous and how on earth would that work when he’s not home… Maybe I’m missing something but I really don’t get it, sorry.

Did you miss my previous post where I said most of that?

Did you miss that OP has a 3YO? It’s not about them asking to use it, it’s that a child that young can’t be around the pool without constant unwavering supervision. To the point where opening the back door because it’s hot whilst cooking dinner would be a no go because the 3YO could slip past whilst your head is in the fridge. Drowning is silent, happens quickly and you’d be an idiot to trust that a preschooler would ask before going near the pool. With kids that young and in the absence of a real pool with a proper fence stick to a paddling pool that can be tipped out as soon as you’re done supervising.

Used to have an outdoor pool. I learnt from pool fb sites that the only truly safe option is to have no safety except for your eyes.
You literally know where your little ones are and have eyes on them 24/7.
Anything else can fail.
Which kinda shows how tricky pools are. I've relaxed a lot since we moved

Yanbu accidents happen and i wouldnt be willing to risk it with small children It's all well and good saying a 3 year old and a 6 year old should be supervised at all times but things happen all it takes is someone knocking on the door, or nipping to the loo, or making a drink and stuff can happen in seconds and this is why people child proof their homes.

That would make me nervous with a 3 year old

Exactly this. Absolutely no way. You will sacrifice any relaxing summer moment, with the doors open and the kids playing freely, because you will need to know where they are at all times. It's not worth it. And no matter how well you drum it into a 6 and 3 year old that they can't go near it alone, you'd be a fool to trust them at that age.

If he insists you know where to direct the kids every time they ask to use it - ‘yes I’m sure daddy will play in the pool with you’

I’d stick it on marketplace or give it away to someone with older kids because it ruins any chance of the kids being able to play in the garden without eyes on them at all times hardcore levels of supervision. No pottering in the kitchen doing the dishwasher or reading your book whilst they play on the slide. If you need the loo the kids have to come in with you and you lock the back door behind you. It’s not comparable in anyway to a permanent pool that would be fenced or a paddling pool that you empty at the end of the day and only fill up if you’re feeling it. Makeshift covers I wouldn’t trust from a safety perspective and they can also mess with the chemical composition if left on too long in hot weather. I wouldn’t pack it up for later either because I think your youngest would need to be 8 and a decent swimmer before I’d even consider leaving it up and filled all summer and that’s a long old time to store it.

And your husband owes you an apology for being a thoughtless idiot for buying the bloody thing without thinking, wasting money, not considering the safety, not considering how it makes your life harder and making you be the bad guy that has to say no.

Also, I let my kids (6 and 2) out into the garden unsupervised. Not for hours on end but they play out there while I am inside. It's a back garden so they can't get out to the road or anything.

I wouldn't be happy with this and would not allow it. I don't think the cover (either the one that comes with it or your husband's idea) sounds safe. You couldn't turn your back for a moment. Drowning is the most common cause of accidental death in young kids. Your DH should have consulted with your first. Stand firm I think.

I think it would drive me crazy to have this in my garden - the upkeep and the worry. We regularly have neighbourhood children and friends in and out of the house and I haven't 'supervised' them for years and years now. But I would need to watch them constantly if this was in the garden. No matter how much you get your own children used to it, if you have another child there they won't know how to approach it.

I grew up in a country with lots of backyard pools but the ones we were around regularly were fenced off and we had the safety drilled into us from when we could walk. Totally different here where it's much more unusual.

Everyone is different of course. I didn’t let my kids out unsupervised in the garden at all until very recently if I’m honest. Not sure how everyone else is but I didn’t. And im ok with that. Not my place to tell others how to parent - I just assumed maybe wrongly that a 3 year old and a 6 year old would be supervised outside. Not sure your fear is irrational i completely get it and agree.

This. I live on the coast in Florida. Within a few miles of me there are numerous public and private pools, retention ponds, two rivers and the ocean. Water is a way of life here.

My children grow up in a house with a pool and a pond in the backyard. Supervise your children, teach them to swim and they will be fine.

Kids have loved paddling pools since the dawn of time. And that one is brilliant! You are the one with the problem. Fill it up, enjoy the nice weather and supervise them! It will be raining again before we know it.

TBH I don’t really see how a small child would accidentally fall into that sort of pool - it’s not like an in-ground pool.

My Gdc3, was a small baby when dd and SiL first acquired the pool, but once big enough (still under 3) dd or SiL would be in the water with her and encourage her to swim (not with armbands*) Now 5, she’s very confident in the water.

*TBH I dislike those - children never learn with those things on.

Just to add, we were lucky to be living in a warm climate with a pool close by when dd1 was very small - I took her swimming almost every day. But one day, when I was in the deep end, she wanted to take her armbands off and jump in with me. Since I was there to catch her, I said OK. She was barely 2.

She came up swimming! Underwater, with what I’d call a tadpole-wriggle. Instantly at home in the water. Dh was worried at first that she wouldn’t remember to come up for air, but of course she did.

I had read about chucking small babies in - apparently they’d instinctively know how to swim, like puppies, but I’d never dared to try it!

Yes but I think the point is that OP would normally be able to let the DC play and now this is an issue.
By MN standards Im very very relaxed but paddling pools do make me nervous. The back garden is one place you should be able to relax and let the DC roam free while you are doing some chores or making dinner or whatever but when the pool is up (and ours is nowhere near as big as the one in the OP) I am on edge. There was a horrific tragedy near me years back where a child of eight (so not a toddler) fell into the pool while retrieving something from it and she fell into head first but was wearing her holy communion dress so it weighed her down . There was a a full house of people for the communion party but in the few minutes of no one noticing she drowned. I know it’s a very random set of circumstances but it’s a story that never left me and it’s made me very wary as I can totally imagine DD playing with a Chelsea or an lol doll in the water and leaving them there and then later on deciding to lean in to get them or whatever . I will admit it’s one bit of parenting I’m a bit irrational on.

Theu could die in any small paddling pool ,I think even the three year old would be able tp stand up in it ,we had an 8ft one during lockdown my son was 13 at the time the water came up to his knees,
Obviously I would never leave a three year old un supervised though.

I have no dea why but I'm in a face book group for over ground pools ( ii haven't left it because there are some brilliant pools and I wish I lived in a warmer country with a bigger garden so I could have one ) they have lots of advice about decks ,keeping the pool clean etc, it's an American Facebook group.

I'm surprised how many people say the kids won't be unattended in the garden, mine go out there all the time? I wouldn't let the 2 year old out on her own without me but with the 5 and 9 year old I would.

It’s fine, I can’t see the problem? You can’t leave the three year old unattended even in a tiny pool. It’ll be fine, let them enjoy it!

We bought this exact pool in the first lockdown and it’s come out every year since, it’s brilliant. DS was 4 when we first got it and couldn’t swim without armbands, he lived in it that first lockdown summer. He was never unsupervised in the garden so it was fine. We bought the proper intex cover to go over it which when pulled tight at the corners is pretty sturdy, I don’t see how a child could fall in with that on.

@Swimmingpool123 surely your 3 and 6 year old isn’t outside unsupervised? We have a pool and never left our kids outside unsupervised by the pool. As long as they aren’t unsupervised I don’t see the problem personally.