Can I get DH to stop talking (boasting) about money?

I would get it if he was talking to a stranger or his boss, but these are his parents, he should be able to talk to them about whatever he wants.

He's seeking they're approval. Boasting usually comes from a place of low self esteem.

Same. That’s not the same as profits/money he’s made yet so I’d be more wary. My cousin who did similar and liked to talk about his finances at this stage ended up bankrupt. He doesn’t talk about it so much now.

😂I'd politely disagree with your assertion that DH's parents know him better than me.

You might think you know your husband better than his parents know him, but it's highly likely HE knows HIS parents better than you do. He grew up with them and will understand the family dynamic far better than you, who only has a partial picture.

So he is likely a far better judge than you of what will land well and is what is more meaningful to them.

I wouldn't personally have talked much about money with my late mother. I'm far more likely to have 'boasted' (if you want to call talking about one's successes with one's own parents 'boasting') about my academic and professional qualifications and successes. Anyone else listening might have thought, 'Why is Butchy talking about such a dull, dry subject matter??' But I knew her and knew this is what she would most appreciate hearing about.

I don't really give a shit what people think about how rich/poor I am

which is fair enough, but they are his PARENTS.
Pretty much the only people in the world you can boast to! If he's being factual, he's not even boasting, he's being truthful.

If he's successful, of course he should tell his parents. It's nice to hear!

I think the only people in the world it's ok to boast to are your parents.
We all do it. Boast about the baby / toddler's achievements. It's not something that's socially acceptable to do with friends or other family members but your parents will always be proud.

It will make his parents feel good that they’ve raised a successful child. They’ve been on this journey with him before you came along. Dh is used to sharing with his dp. He has done since he’s small. Why shouldn’t they all celebrate his success? I think you are raining on their parade a bit to spoil their enjoyment of all the hard work both parents and dh have done.

If it’s ok to discuss such things with you and it not be seen to be boasting then that applies to his parents too. Both are celebrating success.

Now if he was doing this to others, that’s a different matter.

The relationship's okay, not particularly close. They're not materialistic people ... success of their children (in the material form) seems less important to them.

At first, I thought that your PIL are probably money-orientated and this was part of their family vernacular, where "doing well" may be expressed in currency. With what you've said here, though, it feels more like your DH wants them to appreciate his worth and is trying to prove he's valuable by giving them the numbers. If they aren't so materialistic, though, it won't work.

This could be why it grates on you. Do you have a feeling they'd prefer to hear of a fulfilling family life, interesting adventures, perhaps a rewarding leisure pursuit? Is there some sense that DH's life doesn't have these benefits or, if it has, that he doesn't care?

What I'm getting at, I suppose, is that the reason these conversations bother you might be that they symbolise a growing relationship problem. Is it a possibility?

It's also pretty strange that you don't know what he talks to other people about.

He can talk to his parents about whatever he likes, as long as it’s not personal to you. And this is not.

Why do women on MN find it acceptable to control men in ways which they do not find acceptable for themselves?

But op, when it comes to houses it’s all in the public domain anyway. We can all see who paid how much for their house. You being squeamish about your budget won’t change that.

They've somewhat changed since DH did actually start doing that where success of their children (in the material form) seems less important to them.

Maybe this is why he's doing it. He senses they have changed and is trying to draw them back in again.

The good news is they're his parents, they will tell him pipe down when it gets unbearable, you don't need to intervene.

My DH regularly chats to his parents about money. How much he has in his accounts, how much he earns, how much the tax man is taking etc. They are his parents...and they have helped him get to were he is. Even if you don't think they are helping your DH currently they have helped in the past to get him where he is at.

Open discussion like this with family is fine in my opinion. Random friends and acquaintances though I wouldn't be keen on.

Well if his parents are fine about it then trying to police his conversation topics with them (which is what it boils down to) feels very sad and small to me.

I guess none of us are in your shoes and you are making out that it is almost every conversation... I find it hard to believe that between the four of you there are no other topics to talk about

This thread has made me quite sad, maybe me and my parents overshare, but the older we get, we really don't have secrets any more - money or anything - life is too short.

Many (adult) kids know about their parents financial situations, why would it be different?

It's not exactly private.

It's not much different as your partner knowing your full financial details either.

I do think telling people (anyone, even parents) unprompted how much money you have is a bit crass.

But that doesn’t seem to be what he’s doing from
your examples - he’s discussing his businesses and buying a house - both totally normal things to speak to your parents about.

I’m also fascinated by the idea that it’s “crass” to speak to your own mum and dad about money and finances

Talking to his parents is fine but i can see why you say its a bit cringe! Very "look at me, mummy and daddy" which you'd think he'd have grown out of by now.

But at least its them and not fellow parents at the school gates!

Does he have a list of subjects he's allowed to speak to his parents about?

I imagine you with a note pad and pen ease dropping on his conversation and jotting down notes about how he could have conversated better. Wait, is this Hyacinth Bucket??

I'm with you @LotusBotus . My DH does this with his parents and I hate it.

I've never said I hate it, I realise it's probably a me thing, but that is our private information and it makes me very uncomfortable.

My PILs would definitely tell other people too.

I also think to parents it's okay but if he were speaking like that to family and friends generally then I wouldn't be happy about it

As they say, money talks,wealth whispers. Seriously though it sounds as if his parents are interested if they’re asking questions and he’s just having a general conversation with them. Was it really necessary for you to state you had a “quite big” budget for your house purchase 🤷🏼‍♀️. That too can be construed as boasting.