Many care homes are very depressing environments

I don't think it's possible to deliver outstanding care at an affordable rate for residents and still make profits for shareholders.

I’m astonished at the 5/6k a month costs for these places.
where does the money go? It’s not on the staff is it?
Follow the money - write to the pension fund that owns it. In a home of day, 30 people - paying 1.5k a week , that’s a hella profit.

Absolutely, lots of entertainment.
I was at one at the weekend and there was bingo.in the garden
I'm not against them and there is definitely a need it's a service too

I think.in a way it's better than being at home on your own

There is always company. You won't be lonely.
Always things you can join in with if you want too.
No bills or running a home to think about.

Not likely to be burgled, or conned by doorstep callers, bogus people on the phone etc.
Doctor if you need one.

My mum has now been in 4 care settings. One was a hellhole, frankly, worse than your description and luckily totally unsuitable for her. One was amazing, a specialist rehab wing, high staff ratios with interesting work and great leadership. One was the long term floor of the same facility which had some really positive aspects but also a lot of negatives, and it went sharply downhill while she was there with staff turnover, And her current one, where I devoutly hope they will care for her until she dies. It’s still not perfect but the staff are so sweet and they seem to stay a long time. They do their utmost. I’ll take it. Mum is usually bedbound, doubly incontinent, largely nonverbal, still capable of interaction and smiles but not a lot else.

It is intrinsically a depressing idea to be in a care home but given really positive leadership I think they can at least be ok. I hope so, because I would do anything rather than force my ds to care for me. And I hope the owners of the companies that make a fortune out of the shitty homes rinsing taxpayers for cash while treating both staff and residents appallingly die in their own shit.

I've had a parent in one
I've got a friend currently in one

They seem ok to.me people are looked after and there is loads going on entertainment wise.

Each week a planner is printed of what's on

The problem is that good carers and support workers need to be literate, numerate, emotionally intelligent, vigilant to moods so they can spot early signs of distress, patient, good at time management, meticulous with paperwork with high accuracy, calm in a crisis, and passionate about preserving people's mobility and autonomy.

Such people can find jobs that pay more than care does. We're perpetually under ratio and relying on staff who should never have been in the care sector.

My DH is often in care homes for his work. Some are good (he rates Bupa) . Most are not. Some of the companies run the homes on incredibly tight budgets eg. the outside patio is a trip hazard, company don't want to pay to have the patio re-layed, no residents can go outside (staff ratios are so tight, there is no time to take them anyway). If they have a decent activities coordinator they'll have no budget to do anything, eventually anyone passionate leaves. The care staff in some places just don't care, are lazy and can't even be bothered to follow basic procedures re infection control. It's a shambles. Any good care staff don't stay long as the company doesn't treat them well and working with colleagues who do the bare minimum is awful. The care home managers have a rubbish job, trying to run somewhere with whatever staff they can get and no money. The residents welfare barely gets a look in, you'll be lucky if the care home is compliant enough to be safe, nevermind nice.

The reality is most families don't have a choice, especially where dementia is invovled, it's not safe for that person to be at home.

We need to pay more for care and that money needs to not just line shareholder pockets.

Near me, the less good care homes smell awful too. Like boiled cabbage .

Yes - we sold her house and decided that the best use of her £ would be to spend it on excellent care

Look at the Chocolate Works in York! It’s something else, like an entire village with an indoor garden, pub, hairdressers etc. It’s impressive

@notquiteruralbliss Who is paying? Your friend?

I suppose family members could supplement home care. Otherwise we'll all have to be prepared to pay more tax and N.I.

I had to find a care home for a friend with early onset dementia. After a couple of homes that couldn't meet her needs, she moved to an absolutely brilliant specialist dementia care home that treats people who live there (they are never described as 'residents') wonderfully. My friend seems to be genuinely happy. The level of care they provide is expensive, but the extra appears to be the difference between meeting basic needs and providing a good quality of life.

@TheOmbudsmansComingtoGetYoucare homes are “the last resort”. So what’s the first resort when people cannot manage at home? Who is going to do the work a care home does? My DM was offered 4 visits a day to be imprisoned in her own house. Was that the premier division of care? I’ve no idea what the best care is when the elderly can do very little for themselves.

I think the only way to reach and maintain the standard of care that residents, families and most of the care staff want is a great deal more staff, smaller homes and no profit involved.

I loved care work, I still do bank shifts now and again in a different environment, but even in the most perfect environment, it's physically, mentally and emotionally hard. When you factor in the lack of resources, from equipment, to staff to money and it becomes impossible to do to a good standard.

I left care a couple of years ago after working 14 hour days on Christmas Eve, Day and Boxing Day and every single shift was short staffed. No extra money for any of those days, the staff that were on duty run ragged, and then a family member complained to the manager that we didn't make what might be that person's last Christmas, special.

The senior had to do the drugs rounds, which left two of us dealing with 20 residents, all with dementia, at least half needing hoisting for mobilising, all unable to do most things for themselves, and many needing a lot more time than we actually had. We were in the position of giving everyone the bare basic care, or some good care and others none. We're not miracle workers and we can't defy the laws of physics and be doing two things simultaneously.

I get it totally from the family members point of view, but the management knew we were short staffed, the owner knew, they had time to do something about it, they weren't going to get agency staff in, the reason given was that we would resent them because they were on more money. We didn't see management on any of those 3 days. And we got bollocked for it and the relatives told we would be 'spoken to'.

We got completely thrown under the bus and no one cared at all, not the cqc, not the local council, not the relatives and certainly not the owners who saved three days of one wage, or the manager who would be praised for staying under their budget. They all had the fall guys in place and we took the blame, were made out to be uncaring,

I only have my mum and luckily she has her own home and money, and my siblings and I will engage private carers for her and fill the gaps ourselves because the last place my mum is going is a care home.

Due to their very nature they're depressing places, most of the people are just tired, they don't want to make Easter bonnets or Christmas cards, many don't understand the fundamentals of life any longer because their brain is being destroyed, they are looking for a life that no longer exists and that is distressing. In order for someone to be as comfortable as possible, as calm as possible and as pain free as possible, they need time, they need space, they need compassion and kindness, it very nearly destroyed me knowing that I couldn't deliver those things that were desperately needed. I couldn't cope with the guilt - despite giving everything I had it would never be enough.

So I left. If things changed I'd go back in a heartbeat, but they won't because despite the demands for high level care, it's completely unvalued, and I'm not talking about pay here but the standards you are expected to deliver with nothing to deliver it with, and then blamed for the results.

Funding needs to be increased and the profit raking stopped, but that won't happen either.

I've thought about this a lot ever since my partner's grandmother got dementia and we visited her in her home frequently (until she died). For reasons I'm sure many are familiar with and won't go into detail about, I found the whole experience completely harrowing.

One thing I've found frustrating and upsetting is that my parents and in laws make flippant comments like "if I get like that just put a pillow over my head". I wish they'd think seriously about this eventuality and put things in place rather than say things which are obviously ridiculous (i.e. me risking a prison sentence).

They vary a lot and in my experience the ones that look fancy to the eye eg modern, artwork on walls, modern hotel style rooms often are the most depressing as the money is going on aesthetics not caring and profits. A good home will have activities appropriate to their residents - my friend is an activities coordinator for two care homes local to me and they have so much going on, even a singer once a fortnight (she rotates between the two homes) one home is deeply into sixties music the other demands heavy metal!

It's uncomfortable to say, but the day we manage to cure death, we're in trouble.

I’m afraid this is the reality if we all want to live to 110. It’s replicated, at great cost by the hundred of thousand up bd down the country. Modern medicine has a lot to answer for. And I say that as a nurse of 35 years whose MIL is in care.
This is the physical and financial reality of ageing and in many cases, prolonging life when we would have likely passed on naturally some years before.
It’s sad but getting old is often miserable, uncomfortable and undignified, and sometimes there comes a point with living circumstances where good enough has to do.

Carers can be variable but so, quite frankly, can the residents. My DM can easily take against someone one day and love them the next.

As someone above said about being qualified, although I am qualified, you are able to walk into the job with nothing. However, some of the staff I have worked with who have the most NVQ’s and degrees have been utter shit. The best staff I have worked with were actually inexperienced. I always say you can teach people paperwork you can’t teach them how to care

I think it’s a bit of an unfair narrative that care homes are awful and depressing. My limited experience is of four different ones

• my uncle with dementia lived in a lovely one, new and purpose built. Self funding
• - my brother-in-law lives in a really lovely one, local authority funded
• - a very good friend’s mum lived in an LA one for a short while. It was basic but she was very well looked after
• - DS technically lives in a care home as he is autistic with severe learning disability. He is about to turn 30 and has been in what is usually referred to as a “residential placement” for over 10 years, local authority funded. He has been in two, both excellent

This thread is so hard to read 😞 I am a Support Worker in a Supported Living service, not elderly care as such but my service users range from 42-76. I have done the job for 17 years, worked with different clients groups and in a management role. I give my heart and soul to my job and put my service users first, always. I have had some amazing relationships with service users and supported them through very difficult times and also making their dreams come true. I would never dream of mistreating them and absolutely love my work, it’s hard, tiring and poorly paid really but you have to have that passion. Several I have lost and my heart broke like it was my own family. Sadly though I have worked with some nasty abusive people (managed to get them fired eventually though woohoo) but it is true what people have said, some take the job as a last resort, don’t do it for the right reasons and upper management is usually very poor, which in turn means some staff get away with murder. I really have seen sooo much in my time!! But, I would like to think there are care staff out there like me who would care for your loved ones properly and give them a nice home❤️

I work in a care home. It's beautiful like a 4 star hotel. There is some sort of activity every day although activity staff struggle to engage them and often have to wake them up first. 3 course meals for each meal which are primarily left as residents dont have appetites. However it is true that some residents get up very early and go to bed very early. It isn't forced on them but it is too much work to get everyone up and showered by the day staff and equally too much to put everyone to bed by one shift. Residents who have mobility are allowed to wander within the unit and can go to other units if accompanied by family or staff. But here is the thing dementia patients are very difficult at times. They will urinate anywhere such as up curtains and in wardrobes for example. The housekeeping team frequently clean up excrement from floors, bedding, towels, furniture, curtains, cushions etc. Food is often hidden in drawers as are soiled incontinence pads. Regarding clothes, all clothes should be labelled but families often forget to ensure this is done and labels fall off. Incontinent residents clothes are usually washed at 70 degrees and care staff put them in dissolving bags so laundry staff have little idea what is being washed so accidents happen such as boil washing a cashmere jumper! Finally we do sometimes put residents in clothes that don't belong to them, sometimes by accident as the item has been put in the wrong drawer or because they don't have enough clothes that fit or enoughsheer volume, especiallyIncontinentresidentswho may get throughseveral outfits s day and some are very messy eaters, think of a toddler. They will often lose or gain weight and some clothes are very hard to get on someone who is being very uncooperative and squeeling with fear or pain. Our laundry is allocated 1.5 hours per week per resident for all washing, sorting and ironing of bedding, towels and clothes! Honestly we do our best but frankly it's a miserable job at times!

Where Dad went they weren't. I'd say most were 45 plus.