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Original poster

To burn the villa down

230 replies

Kinkyroots · 16/06/2025 21:25

We’re staying in a villa in a hillside villa in Cyprus - DH (thank fucking god it was him and not me) went in to top our drinks up and a fucking tarantula was sat in the kitchen. He managed to catch it in the pool net but I am totally freaking out.

OP posts:
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Original poster
Kinkyroots · 16/06/2025 22:17

Gettingbysomehow · 16/06/2025 22:12

To HELL with that. I am never going to Cyprus. I lived in Mauritius for 5 years and we had house spiders the size of dinner plates. My bed was in the middle of the bedroom.

To be fair, I am now rethinking the ‘gorgeous restored traditional villa in the hillside Cypriot village’ vibe I was feeling so gloriously smug and relaxed about. Although as PP said, they get in hotels too. There’s lots of not UK holiday destinations have them I believe. It’s times like this you thank our shit climate and reconsider your retirement plans.

OP posts:
MascaraGirl · 16/06/2025 22:15

notanothersummercold · 16/06/2025 21:54

I know a nice hotel if you need it op😂

Yep, either check into The Annabelle or get the first plane home!!!

Slatterndisgrace · 16/06/2025 22:15

UncomfortableSilence · 16/06/2025 22:10

We had a tarantula in our bathroom in a Cyprus hotel many years ago. DH saw it and I promptly locked myself on the balcony while he called reception who sent someone up laughing until he saw the size of the fucking thing. We laugh about it now however I was ready to fly straight home at the time 😩

How did they remove it?

TwoTierBbq · 16/06/2025 22:15

OP I really feel for you we need the bloody laugh emoji back
Good luck tonight.

Gettingbysomehow · 16/06/2025 22:12

To HELL with that. I am never going to Cyprus. I lived in Mauritius for 5 years and we had house spiders the size of dinner plates. My bed was in the middle of the bedroom.

Original poster
Kinkyroots · 16/06/2025 22:12

Now the struggle is balancing drinking enough to sleep with the speed DH is drinking so I don’t have to go into the kitchen. And needing to wee.

OP posts:
reversegear · 16/06/2025 22:12

Omg I was just debating cancelling my Cyprus holiday, and now this has 100% helped me decide.

Roomforapony · 16/06/2025 22:11

MauriceTheMussel · 16/06/2025 21:48

Takes Cyprus off the holidays list

Abso-fucking-lutely😱

UncomfortableSilence · 16/06/2025 22:10

We had a tarantula in our bathroom in a Cyprus hotel many years ago. DH saw it and I promptly locked myself on the balcony while he called reception who sent someone up laughing until he saw the size of the fucking thing. We laugh about it now however I was ready to fly straight home at the time 😩

Original poster
Kinkyroots · 16/06/2025 22:09

largeknitter · 16/06/2025 22:06

I have Cyprus on my list to visit but they can get to fuck now. I bet they don’t put Tarantulas on the bloody tourist website.

They twatting don’t. The AirBNB we are in is absolutely gorgeous, the owner so helpful and accommodating, do you think he will be ok with ‘can you just completely gut the place and redecorate now please thank you.

OP posts:
Slatterndisgrace · 16/06/2025 22:08

Mrsphilmiller · 16/06/2025 22:04

Because a spider can’t climb up a bed?? 😶

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🤣 I was thinking of pillows being an easy access point….but yeah.

Original poster
Kinkyroots · 16/06/2025 22:07

ThreePointOneFourOneFiveNine · 16/06/2025 22:03

But you’d have to be outside so you didn’t get burned too, and all the tarantulas would come running out of the villa to get away from the fire, towards you. I think you might need bomb the place from the nice safety of a plane.

‘All the tarantulas’. Prize for least helpful phrase so far.

OP posts:
largeknitter · 16/06/2025 22:06

I have Cyprus on my list to visit but they can get to fuck now. I bet they don’t put Tarantulas on the bloody tourist website.

Mrsphilmiller · 16/06/2025 22:04

Slatterndisgrace · 16/06/2025 22:00

😁😁 I’d be pulling the bed away from the wall and no barefoot walking.

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Because a spider can’t climb up a bed?? 😶

ThreePointOneFourOneFiveNine · 16/06/2025 22:03

But you’d have to be outside so you didn’t get burned too, and all the tarantulas would come running out of the villa to get away from the fire, towards you. I think you might need bomb the place from the nice safety of a plane.

Slatterndisgrace · 16/06/2025 22:00

Kinkyroots · 16/06/2025 21:58

You mean, like I did, hoping DH would say ‘oh no, didn’t look like that’. He said yes, that is what it was. Even described thefucking walk when I asked (so I could go into hysterics again).

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😁😁 I’d be pulling the bed away from the wall and no barefoot walking.

outerspacepotato · 16/06/2025 21:59

Sorry. ☠️

I didn't think of that.

Original poster
Kinkyroots · 16/06/2025 21:58

BecFlowers · 16/06/2025 21:56

WHY DID I GOOGLE THEM

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You mean, like I did, hoping DH would say ‘oh no, didn’t look like that’. He said yes, that is what it was. Even described thefucking walk when I asked (so I could go into hysterics again).

OP posts:
BecFlowers · 16/06/2025 21:56

outerspacepotato · 16/06/2025 21:55

My kids used to try to fish for them. They're not aggressive, they're shy.

Now the jumping wolf spiders can be a handful.

WHY DID I GOOGLE THEM

Original poster
Kinkyroots · 16/06/2025 21:56

outerspacepotato · 16/06/2025 21:55

My kids used to try to fish for them. They're not aggressive, they're shy.

Now the jumping wolf spiders can be a handful.

Nope.

OP posts:
outerspacepotato · 16/06/2025 21:55

My kids used to try to fish for them. They're not aggressive, they're shy.

Now the jumping wolf spiders can be a handful.

notanothersummercold · 16/06/2025 21:54

I know a nice hotel if you need it op😂

MissRabbitHasBurnOut · 16/06/2025 21:52

Not sure if I was more scared of seeing a snake or a tarantula in Cyprus, naively I didn't realise they had either when I booked!

Slatterndisgrace · 16/06/2025 21:50

MauriceTheMussel · 16/06/2025 21:48

Takes Cyprus off the holidays list

For sure, that would completely freak me out.

MauriceTheMussel · 16/06/2025 21:48

Takes Cyprus off the holidays list