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AIBU?

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Original poster

To be upset at what DH wrote in my birthday card?

171 replies

PrincessOfPreschool · 16/06/2025 18:29

"I'm very fond of you." 22 years married! No 'I love you'.

As this is AIBU, I fully expect half of you to say I should be grateful to have a DH who even gives me a birthday card and who is fond of me. Whilst the other half will say he's checked out of the marriage and I should LTB.

But honestly, how would you feel?

OP posts:
Sunshineandgrapefruit · 16/06/2025 18:43

I would massively take the piss out of my DH if he did that! 'Seriously DH? Fond? Surely you meant fondle?'

Purplecatshopaholic · 16/06/2025 18:43

If he’s serious, I would consider this a problem. People are fond of places they visit, certain foodstuffs, not their spouse. You know him - are you two in a good place, or are there issues…

Oddsocksanduglyshoes · 16/06/2025 18:42

Fond”

You said you were fond of me.
Like I was a footstool.
Or a well-behaved spaniel
that doesn’t jump on guests.

Fond.
Not passionate.
Not taken, nor smitten,
not even mildly captivated.
Just —
fond.

Like I’m a flavour you don’t mind,
a song you hum but never learn the words to,
a cushion that’s always there,
but never quite your favourite.

You said it like a kindness
but it landed like a shrug.
Like you were offering a biscuit
to a dog who’d begged too long.

I wanted wild.
I wanted trembling hands
and a voice that caught on my name.
I wanted
you.

But you said you were fond of me.
Like you’d say to a garden gnome
you never asked for,
but now can’t be bothered to move.

Eyesopenwideawake · 16/06/2025 18:42

This reminds of the card Alan Sugar once sent his wife for her birthday "Best wishes, Alan". She very nearly divorced him!

SuburbanSprawl · 16/06/2025 18:42

My last one said, 'you make a very good sandwich', which we both thought was funny and much more meaningful than 'I love you'.

thepariscrimefiles · 16/06/2025 18:40

That's a very luke warm sentiment, unless he meant it as a joke.

Martymcfly24 · 16/06/2025 18:40

Is it not just an ironic joke, after 22 years id say he's probably more than fond of you.

rockstarshoes · 16/06/2025 18:40

I had one that said I was his best friend once & I didn’t like that much either!
Do you feel he loves you from his actions or are things abit meh generally?

BobbleHatsRule · 16/06/2025 18:39

I'd take it as a joke and feel secure..... why didn't you ask?

BilderbergPoop · 16/06/2025 18:39

I’d be more surprised if it said anything beyond “Happy birthday, from DH” 😂

But seriously, wouldn’t bother me.

Screamingabdabz · 16/06/2025 18:38

Yeah I’d be a bit 🤨 too op. ‘Fond’ is a downgrade. YANBU.

TourangaLeila · 16/06/2025 18:38

You know your DH best, is this likely to have been a cheeky thing or would he normally be gushing.

My DH and I often say "I really like you" instead of love because we love that we like each other 😂

If he suddenly went too far either side I'd be on alert.

Daleksatemyshed · 16/06/2025 18:37

Fond is a word I'd use about a dear friend, not a DH.

Jackiebrambles · 16/06/2025 18:37

it is a bit weird. Did he also say ‘best wishes’ or ‘kind regards’ 🤣

LawAndDisorderSeason3 · 16/06/2025 18:37

It was probably a joke. I joke with DH like this

MauveLeader · 16/06/2025 18:36

I think that is dreadful. It’s possibly Maya Angelou who writes a poem about being told someone was fond of her. She comments that is something you would say to a dog. I’ll look for it.

TheyFuckYouUpYourMamAndDad · 16/06/2025 18:36

Eugh!! I would find this just…odd! Who even talks like this?? Weird!

Original poster
PrincessOfPreschool · 16/06/2025 18:35

I don't think it was meant as a joke but I should ask.

OP posts:
MissyB1 · 16/06/2025 18:35

It depends on what he would normally write. Eg..my dh always writes about how happy I make him and how much he loves me, so it would be weird if he suddenly changed that to "fond of".

Poopeepoopee · 16/06/2025 18:33

what does he normally put then?

wonderingwhatsnext · 16/06/2025 18:31

I wouldn't mind. This is a silly thing dh and I might say to each other. Do you feel loved and appreciated in general?