Husband and Parents

Kindly, your parents don’t sound very nice.

Realistically, if you didn't have your parents around, your DH would have to step up, so I can see why they are not happy with his behaviour. They could still be nicer and realise you're doing your best and are in a very difficult position. Taxis everywhere is your only choice.

Get an airbnb near school or agree a multi day booking with a local taxi firm for the last four weeks of school.

I say this as someone in a worse situation - worse injury, longer time not driving and a child who goes to school in an entirely different city to where we live.

I am sorry but your child and their schooling is entirely the responsibility of you and your husband, as her parents. I say this with so much empathy because I have parents as much use as chocolate teapots and I struggle
so much with how little they seem to care. But mine wouldn’t have us living there either - they’re already being imposed on hugely for your convenience.

As someone else has said, I think they’re at capacity with you all living there. This is your problem to solve - the issue isn’t your parents it’s you and your husband.

You have to weigh up risk to his job against cost of an air b&b for the next month. Something has to give.

My mum drops off at the bus stop (this isn’t a local bus stop) and picks up again - my child is older - on the rare occasions that my husband has to travel. We limited this to once per week maximum and in reality it’s been far less. That is her absolute capacity in terms of willingness to help. While that hurts a lot (I’d do anything for anyone), I just smile and say how grateful I am when she does it. Because I am. Because as much as I wish she was more caring, hands on and willing, my daughter getting to school isn’t her responsibility at all.

When I had my accident, the first thing my husband did was changed everything at work to reflect his new temporary status as effectively a single parent. Everyone was made aware and just had to deal with it (the same protections that are in place to protect working mums). Because our child has 2 parents and one was (still is) completely out of action.

Your husband may not be able to do that logistically (if he works 9 to 5 2 hours away for example), but then you as a couple have to do something else. Short term accommodation (even if it’s a premier inn) local to school. Speak to friends, post in the parents’ group etc for local logistic help once you’re in the area. Or accept you’ll have to pay for taxis both ways twice a day for the next month - that’s always been my backup.

As awful as it is, it’s your problem to solve.

@Jemima85What about an air b and b?

Taxi. Alll the way....

I would get taxis for school runs and also to the hospital. I wpuld make it a point to never ask them for another lift.

You are saving a huge amount living with them and I'd consider it "the cost of doing business"...

Hope your leg heals and you get back in your house soon

Taxis or you get an Airbnb for a month close to school. That said, my retired DPs or PIL would help willingly. Your family don’t seem very kind or understanding and I would remember this.

I'm going to go against the grain here and say that I can see your parents point. You said that you have had to rely on your parents to help out, was there any real discussion about this or was the problem effectively dumped on them? I think its great when family step up to help out, but that doesn't mean that they can't/won't find it stressful or a burden. It's okay for them to be fed up with the arrangement. You said your husband helps out, but it should be the other way around, that you and him shoulder the majority of the strain and your parents 'help out'. Taxis will be expensive but that's the only real solution.

@Jemima85 just rent a scooter or buy a cheap one then take your DD to school on the bus?

Then a taxi is probably the safest option. Maybe you find a taxi driver that lives locally, and could offer you a discount for booking those regular trips for the next weeks.

I would just hire a taxi firm to do all journeys- ask school they probably have one they know, you go in taxi with her. Friend can walk her to class or u can with crutches.

Can you pre-book taxis, or is that too expensive?

I'd lean on the builders to hurry up with the bathroom.
You can camp out in a building site and manage without the kitchen for a little while in the summer.

Your poor LO. She must feel so lost.
Your parents and sister really have no idea how this will damage their relationship with her or with you.

I have been in a similar situation. Hang tight, things will get better. As soon as the house is livable in get back in there. It will one day be over & you will be home. If there is any possibility of staying somewhere else do it but if not hang on in there.

You must be saving a fortune living with your parents, get an Uber or some other taxi service.

I would be looking for an airbnb and moving out ASAP, especially if your parents have spoken about your little girl so nastily - to be honest I wouldn't want them anywhere near her! I would also shell out for taxis to the hospital and/or pay a babysitter to walk/drive DD to school.

Your parents and sister sound horrible. As suggested, perhaps look into an Airbnb in your home town if you can. Just suck up the cost I would say.

How old are your parents anyway?

Assuming they’re in good health, this attitude absolute blows my mind. I can’t imagine making one of my own children feel like a burden, when they need my support through no fault of their own. Being cruel to your daughter is fucking vile. What kind of granny is she?!
No good advice OP just wanted to extend my sympathies- I would never treat my daughter like this.

Air BnB sounds like the only solution. Living at your parents is not working. I assume you are not working at the moment, your husband is working from their home for a business that could go bust. It is all too much. You need to move out asap.

Another vote for air bnb . Don’t keep putting your child and DH through this. Awful in laws. Who describes their grandchild like that ?!

Get some crutches? My daughter wasn't allowed to weight bear so was given crutches so she could manage school.

It sounds like the situation is too much for your parents. It's not unreasonable of them to say they can't do any more. It's not unreasonable for your husband not to do more.

So your options are

1. Keep your daughter at home
2. Move closer to the school (your own house or AirBnB type place)
3. Find someone else to take her. Would another school mum/friend do it if you offered to pay them?

Airbnb near the school, the current situation is untenable.

OK, so without a bathroom & being re-wired & re-plumbed means floorboards are up, wires sticking out of walls & without a lavatory, moving back in isn't an option.

I suggest that you ask builder's to prioritise getting a working bathroom so that you could at least camp in the garden.

What about an Air B&B?

Rented caravan on friend's drive (with kids at the same school)? Tent in friend's back garden. Friend's mum willing to take both kids to school