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Unreasonable response from DH

155 replies

SoppySalad · 16/06/2025 12:11

My husband and I have been together since childhood and are both in our mid forties. No real marital issues. Sex life is good and there is no sneaky behaviour. DH is open with his phone/laptop and goes to and from work and doesn’t do a lot else.

So we were in Sainsbury’s and my husband had gone off to grab something whilst I was at the till. As he was walking back, the lady on the next till started to wave at him and I looked at her and then looked back to him and he was gone.

I carried on packing and watched as she began leaving the store, but just before leaving, she stopped and turned to look as if expecting someone to come over to her. Then she turned and left.

A minute later DH arrived back at the till. I finished up and as we were leaving said ‘I think the lady on the next till knew you?’. He replied ‘yes’. I gave it a moment and then prompted ‘work?’ And he said ‘yes’.

I thought he was a bit off - and different to what I’m used to, so I said “hun, I’m feeling like perhaps you didn’t want to come back to the till with that person there. Was there something wrong?”

He exploded, which is very unusual for my husband. He said I was being jealous, does he have to give me her life story…he doesn’t know her, doesn’t speak to her in work and all he knows is she married to the bosses nephew. What’s he supposed to do, come and make awkward conversation with a colleague on his day off? He doesn’t want to see anyone. He didn’t want to be shopping.”

This response felt out of the blue and was very upsetting as I felt it was unwarranted. He proceeded to not join us for a family barbecue at my parents and ignored me all evening.

He did later apologise and said he shouldn’t have responded so evasively, but he was annoyed and irritated.

I am beyond confused and hurt. It’s very out of character. He was under a lot of stress for context, as we also had a plumbing disaster that morning, with a big fix required. If he said he hadn’t wanted to come shopping, I’d have left him home.

Thoughts would be appreciated.

OP posts:
SoppySalad · 16/06/2025 12:23

JLou08 · 16/06/2025 12:22

Does he have anxiety? I feel a sense of panic seeing someone from work whilst out and will avoid them unless we are very close. Strange and unsociable I know but it is what it is. My DH doesn't get it at all and I find it really embarrassing when he points it out.

No, no usually.

OP posts:
JLou08 · 16/06/2025 12:22

Does he have anxiety? I feel a sense of panic seeing someone from work whilst out and will avoid them unless we are very close. Strange and unsociable I know but it is what it is. My DH doesn't get it at all and I find it really embarrassing when he points it out.

AudiobookListener · 16/06/2025 12:18

I think you've both blown this up out of proportion. DH shouldn't have got so angry but really you had four things in one day that men hate: household emergency, shopping with spouse, meeting someone from work and a do with the inlaws. It was just a bad day, move on.

Drummend01 · 16/06/2025 12:17

Firstly since you were in Sainsbury’s I would assume you were shopping for food/dinner, in which case why does he get to be moody about going shopping. It’s a necessity to keep the cupboards stocked, it’s not a nice day out that you dragged him to.

It’s odd for him to react so much to quite a normal question from you, I’d ask my partner in the same situation and regardless of gender too. It’s not a jealousy thing, it’s just being curious about a potential work colleague, part of their life that you’re not that involved in.

If there aren’t any other signs that there is anything more to this, and he really was just under stress and over reacted then I’d leave it. He’s apologised. But I would be a bit more vigilant

Candleabra · 16/06/2025 12:17

Seems like a weird overreaction from him. If he’d said oh it’s the bosses nephews wife you’d have thought nothing more about it.