Financial issues with partner

OP can't force him to pay.

He is a gigolo. A cocklodger. You are basically paying for cock.

Point that out to him.

I 100% BET that you have not told any of your/his family or friends what is going on. Start telling everyone. Let the light into this shitty, dirty arrangement so that you can get proper support from people in real life. All abuse, including financial abuse, thrives in the dark.

Until this country actually makes men pay for the children they create then you do what you must.

Its a disgrace how easy it is for men to shirk their responsibilities to their children.

You'd be better off without him. You could claim benefits, you don't have a mortgage and you would get child maintenance from him which hopefully will be more than he pays into the family pot at the moment.

He sounds absolutely awful.

Well then start doing what is best for you. He either gives you enough money or you're applying for benefits. You'll have enough then and will have less. But you are a complete fool to have allowed this to go on so do something about it. But don't marry him. I suggest you leave him.

He's not going to though is he?

It’s more that we’re realists. It’s bloody hard to get money out of a self employed skinflint who’s adept at hiding his money.

This thread tells you everything that is wrong with this country’s handout culture. For lost posters, benefits is easy go to default. The dad is not on the hook at all, it’s everyone else who must pay for his kids.

Or the feckless dad could pay. What a novel idea

Get as much evidence as you can of his finances then kick the cheeky bastard out so you can claim benefits.

I think @Bloozie is right. He has added you as a shareholder or director and should be paying you dividends or a wage. And he doesn’t want to. If you apply for benefits you might work this out.

inatead he is saving all his money and when the DC are old enough that he is not required to pay you maintenance he will leave and buy his own place. He quite possibly already has bought his own place.

I’d ask him to leave, claim benefits and cms And try and work more when he has the kids. There’s no coming back from how he is treating you. He should be paying 80 percent of all expenses. But he has no intention of doing so ever. The only way I’d to get him out. Get as much evidence of his income first for cms purposes.

He's financially abusing you. Sorry.

OP, you cannot apply for benefits (UC) without doing a joint claim. Your P would have to declare his income to UC as he is self-employed. I don't know if you would (both) be eligible for anything with a joint income of between £60 to 72,000 on paper, especially with no housing costs such as rent, however, as you have child/ren with disabilty you may potentially get something. There are benefits calculators online to check.

I don't believe your P wants you to know his income, which is why he is shutting you down.

That the fucker is saving whilst you get into debt says a lot. Fortunately, you have an asset. Be careful he can't lay claim to some of it...

Nah. Unless he's a morally bankrupt cocklodger, he knows his family cannot libe on air.
Even if he thought the OP is rolling in it, as a self-respecting individual, he wouldn't just make himself comfortable, contributing nothing to the family.

He knows he needs to do better, but will ride the gravy train as long as he can - shameless twat.

So he has no rent/mortgage to pay?
Then he should definitely contribute more.
Have you protected the house so he has no claim to it?
He sounds very selfish and not just with money

Charge him rent. It’s tax deductible for him. Or better yet get rid of this selfish horrible man. You literally be better off.

OP, is his business a limited company, are you named as a shareholder, do you complete self-assessments, and does your partner's accountant handle all of it for you? Have you ever signed any paperwork you didn't really understand relating to shares and ownership of the business?

Because one thing I'm wondering is if he's reducing his tax bill by assigning some alphabet shares and associated dividends to you as you're in a lower tax bracket than he is, which would mean on paper you earn more than you do and so wouldn't qualify for benefits like Carers Allowance, which aren't based on household income.

All of this is admittedly a long shot, but I can't think why else he wouldn't want you claiming any more benefits.

He's also financially controlling and a freeloading cunt. I am so sorry.

Thank goodness
Kick him out Op and then claim benefits you would be entitled too
Hrs financially abusing you

Watertight contraception, do not marry him

Also, benefits aren’t there to compensate for tight partners who’d rather save than pay for family expenses

What an absolute prick.

Throw him out, get him to pay maintenance for his kids. Take a tenant into your home to help with your own expenses.

Or tell him his only other option is to pay you rent and pay for everything proportional to his income.

But I think the former makes more sense as he clearly doesn't give a shit about you.

The only othything I wonder is if his business is tanking and he doesn’t want the OP speaking to his accountant and finding out- or applying for benefits that are means tested and getting a wedge of money she wasn’t expecting.

So you are subsidising him, basically, by forgoing benefits and by providing him with free accommodation and childcare, so that he can boost his savings while you go into your overdraft.

FGS sit him down and talk about this. It's utterly ridiculous and you know it! You are in such a vulnerable position not being married, let alone the obvious financial abuse that's happening.

Tell him you've found a job paying more, and he has to now do half of all the school runs, school clubs, sick leave (when kids are ill), washing, cooking, cleaning etc. See how the dick likes those apples.

THE ONLY REASON HE CAN EARN £50k IS BECAUSE YOU ARE AT HOME DOING EVERYTHING ELSE. If you died tomorrow he would have to pay for a nanny, taxi, cleaner etc etc.

Please take control.

(I hope this isn't real).

Just apply for them. Dont ask.

You don’t pay more tax when you apply for benefits. It doesn’t work like that.

Either you as a family qualify, or you don’t.

if you separate your entitlement will change, although you won’t get the rent element, which is often the key one for many claimants.