I flooded the bathroom - DP is angry

You’re in a relationship with someone who thinks a bit of plaster is more important than your feelings. Is that where you want to be?

He’s an arsehole.
Years ago my wife let her bath overflow whilst running it. It flooded the bathroom and overnight the ceiling below completely collapsed due to the amount of water.
It was a massive job to repair, an insurance claim, full redecoration and recarpeting.
At no point was I angry with her at all. In fact I remember spending loads of time trying to convince her not to be so angry with herself for doing it.
Just get some Zinsser Stain Blocker to use as an undercoat, then touch up.
Is he always so quick to anger?

It's not a normal or reasonable reaction, and I would get the ick.

Not two months ago I flooded our bathroom, water was pouring through the ceiling in the living room. It was a mistake, my husband came home from work early, helped me clean it all up. We let the stains dry out and painted over them, no issue.

You need some stain stop paint first, then just repaint in whichever colour your ceiling is.

These things happen sometimes, it's a part of life. I couldn't bare to be spoken to like your DH did, it shows a real lack of care towards you as his wife. I would say that's a far bigger issue than repainting a ceiling - but it's a him issue, not a you issue. I hope you manage to sort it out with him. But remember this, you don't deserve to be spoken to like that in your home, nobody does.

How do people live like this? It's a car, an expensive car for sure but not a person.

His reaction is massively out of proportion.

I wrapped the car round a concrete pillar when i first learned to drive. His response was ‘oh no - are you ok?’

Expressing some anger or irritation is normal. Throwing things and silent treatment is never ok.

If it overflowed because the drain was blocked then, arguably, it was not entirely your fault anyway and it could just as easily have happened when he was using the shower.

No his reaction is disproportionate. Does he get in to a rage like this often?

What an over reaction. I pranged the car the other day , dh barely raised an eyebrow although I'm sure inside he was cursing. He knew I didn't do it on purpose just as you didn't flood the bathroom on purpose. Fix the shower then claim off your contents insurance for the ceiling damage / redecorating.

I was distraught at the time, though, so maybe your DP feels you’re being a bit casual?
It's seriously nothing to get upset about.
It's ot life changing or a huge deal. It's an inconvenience a d annoying but there's no point being down in the dumps about it.

I would be annoyed if my partner was oblivious to the water overflowing in the shower and flooding the floor. It's points to carelessness.
However if this was a one off, then the reaction was OTT. If not a one off mistake he might just be fed up with it all.

The water has left a bit of a brown mark on the ceiling below, and this morning I also saw it has left a mark on the kitchen ceiling. (I will soon attempt a vineager/water solution as this seems to be the best bet.)

You need to allow it to dry and get some special paint for covering damp patches, it can't just be painted over.

In a similar situation (although worse in that part of our ceiling actually came down and upstairs carpet was ruined 😳) my husband was brilliant. He wasn’t pleased of course but recognised it as a stupid oversight, helped me clear up and sort the ensuing mess, insurance and repairs.
Get a new DP. You need someone who isn’t bitter and resentful in your life.

Blimey I've flooded the bathroom twice. Once when the kids were small and I started running a bath but got distracted.The second time was a couple of years ago. I can't remember how.
Dh just called me a div( He had a point) and we got someone in to do a repair job. It's a complete non issue with regard to our relationship. It was a mistake and its fixable.
Your husband is now being abusive.

Sounds like he uses any mistake/action he can to throw a hissy fit and be a bit of a bully to you OP.

When my DH bought a new car - BMW Z4 - I reversed our other/my car into it on the drive in the first week. Scratched/dented bumper and a few grands worth of repair. He sat on the porch with his head in his hands for an hour, looked as though he was trying not to cry, and insisted I leave him alone while he calmed down. Was quiet for the rest of the day. Then he got it fixed and it was never mentioned again, except to take the piss out of me occasionally.

I was distraught at the time, though, so maybe your DP feels you’re being a bit casual? It will take more than vinegar solution to get rid of the stain on the ceiling, btw. It’ll need proper stain block and a couple of coats of paint - so if DP has to do it (I, personally would do it myself as the shower error was mine) he may be pissed off about that.

It’s a massive overreaction, he sounds like a bully, I bet he’s the type that would also hate you fixing the problem.

He sounds abusive.

DP continued to shout at me once or twice over the weekend when the issue was raised, and the rest of the time he hardly spoke to me. Is this a normal reaction?

He just doesn’t like you OP and he’s using this as an excuse.

Sometimes we can’t help getting angry in the moment but the fact that he’s carrying it when he knows it was a mistake, shows how much he dislikes you.

Stop apologising and tell him to get over himself.

He sounds like an awful person. Mistakes happen and yes occasionally people are harsh at the time of something happening out of frustration but there’s being a bit short with someone and then there’s shouting and berating them over a prolonged period of time. Also, it’s important to ask yourself if he behaves like this with other people. If the answer is no then it’s clear he has more control of himself than he exercises with you, and chooses to be horrible to you.

Once its all dried out, use a Zinisser cover stain paint over the water marks and repaint with emulsion. It'll fix any stains the leak made, like it never happened.

His reaction is extreme. Is there something else going on? Stressed about other things? Not excusing, but trying to understand why he has reacted so OTT.

Unblock the trap. Let the ceiling dry fully.
Spray the stain with this:
https://zinsseruk.com/products/cover-stain-aerosol
Depending on the finish of your ceiling, you may not even need to paint over it.

As PP have said, this is not a normal or fair reaction. Mistakes happen - they are frustrating but generally fixable. You said you would sort out. Is this a pattern of behaviours? Not excusing it but does he see it as an expense you can’t handle, or a criticism of his work? Sounds like you need to have a discussion on that too if you can when he is calmer and behaving properly.

Practically - your shower shouldn’t flood that easily after a short shower use; the trap might need cleaning, there might be some sealant not quite right on the tray, or the door is not fully closing? It’s a waste of time to sort out the ceilings til you’re sure the source of the leak is fixed (undoubtedly he’ll be cross at the sight of the ceiling but that’ll get sorted last).

@Moai it’s an accident op.
Stop apologising.
Your dh has no right to be angry with you. He can be frustrated at the mess to be sorted but there shouldn’t be any blame towards you.

Do you have a clogged drain (grim)? How else can it have been possible to flood the bathroom from an overflowing shower tray? I would get that seen to before anything else otherwise it will just happen again. Are you similarly careless about anything else? Water damage can be really awful to deal with because of the risk of mould. And it must have been a long shower to go through to the ceilings of two lower rooms. I’m struggling to see how you didn’t notice the water was above your ankles. All sounds a bit gross really.

But to your question: it’s not normal to react that way, no. Frustration and annoyance at the situation is one thing; frustration and annoyance with you is another (although I think I’d be a bit pissed off if DH did this). The silent treatment is never ok, ever. You haven’t ruined the house. The fact it was an accident is neither here nor there - nobody would do such a thing on purpose, the point is you should have taken more care. But bottom line, he’s overreacted.

How horrible- it’s an accident! And it sounds like you didn’t even do anything - just be the unfortunate person who was the last person to use it!