I flooded the bathroom - DP is angry

Not the point of the tread but you need the damp seal stuff to put on first.

This will stop any water marks coming back through when you repaint.

Then just emulsion over it. It sounds like you caught it before major damage. Best to give it a while to thoroughly dry first and to check it hasn't tracked elsewhere.

This.
Make plans to leave him.
A shower leak or similar is something that happens once or twice in every house.

I think his reaction is pretty normal you nonchalantly did thousands of pounds worth of damage which he is going to have to fix. I assume by his statement that you ruin the house that you break other things. I knew somebody like this, and the lack of respect for nice things or their surroundings was horrible.

@Anotherparkingthread
First of all, there is no way that the amount of damage described is thousands of pounds worth. Ludicrous suggestion! My sister recently had a leak start under her bath that ended up bringing down part of the ceiling. She got the leak fixed and the ceiling repaired and repainted within days for a few hundred pounds.

Secondly, you say "which he is going to have to fix" when the OP has already stated that she has, and is, sorting it out herself.

"Nonchalantly" - you made that up. Nothing in her post suggests that was her attitude.

You "assume" that she breaks other things. Nothing in the post could lead you to assume that. You claim this because the DH says " you ruin the house", as if she makes a habit of damaging things. But if you read more carefully he said "ruined the house" as if he was talking about this one incident.

His reaction is in no way normal and the fact you think it is says much about you. Mind you, given how you have twisted and misinterpreted the OP perhaps one shouldn't be surprised

I divorced my first husband. Looking back he was like this. Went mad when the kids dropped a bit of juice in the back of the car etc. totally out of proportion. It’s exhausting.

No. he's being absurd. What a stupid fuss. Is he always such a bully and a drama queen?

Leave the plaster to dry for two weeks and then apply a coat of white emulsion to the stain. All sorted for about £10 and maybe 20 minutes, including getting the ladder out.

This happened at ours aswell my teenaged daughter blocked the drain and just kept the shower on, neither of us reacted the way your husband did

this isn’t a normal or healthy way to react.

how is he with the children when they accidentally do something?

How is a small leak 1000s of pounds? It will dry out in this good weather and then can be painted. It’s probably £20 of damage (for paint) or 0 if you have leftover paint.

eveeyone makes mistakes, and your shower tray sounds crap if this happens

He’s a dick, bordering on abusive. It will dry out and can be painted.

His resonse is OTT and shabby.
People make mistakes and accidents happen, they feel shit enough about them without the additional punishment of a DP throwing themselves about over it.

If this was the other way round and a man said he had left the shower running everybody on here would be calling him an absolute twat. Saying how they would be very cross etc either f.

I think his reaction is pretty normal you nonchalantly did thousands of pounds worth of damage which he is going to have to fix. I assume by his statement that you ruin the house that you break other things. I knew somebody like this, and the lack of respect for nice things or their surroundings was horrible.

You aren't going to get the stain off with vinegar or any other home made solution. You are going to need to paint over it.

Is he like this with the kids too.

best solution is to use stain blocker (you can get really good water based blockers) and then repaint the patch (or ideally the whole ceiling so it’s even). It’s not a big job, just causes a bit of shoulder/neck pain. Use a fine brush for cutting in, and roller the ceiling in the direction of the the rooms light. Make sure you load the roller fairly dry- you’re not painting fresh plaster so you ideally want multiple thin coats which will be the least noticeable.

AVOID oil based stain blockers. While they are better they take AGES to dry and make the job way more tedious.

You can buy stain block paint. We had several flooding (sen kids and blocking the plug holes)

I agree.

Mistakes happen. You didn’t do it on purpose - and even if you did I’m assuming it’s your house as well?

his reaction though. He could control that and he did not. He used your error to berate you further and further. Make you doubt yourself and belittle you.

do you have children together?

It does indeed sound like a bit of an overreaction, but I can appreciate how annoying it is.

From a practical point of view, the shower tray should never overfill, so check the drain, and regularly if needed. (we have the same issue)

In terms of repair, I would let it dry for a month or two, paint it with Zinnser Stain block, possibly a couple of times, and then repaint.

Recommend caustic soda for slow draining showers if that helps.

DH is a plumber , he and son have both flooded the bathroom before and it’s come through the light fittings. Your OH is massively overreacting. Let it dry out, use stain block on the stain, paint over it. It’s only catastrophic if the leak carries on and doesn’t get fixed! I suspect his real issue is insecurity around fixing things in the home. If he hadn’t been able to fix it he’d feel a lesser man, etc etc. Some husbands get very defensive around my OH because they feel it’s an affront to their masculinity if he can fix a pipe and they can’t, doh!

What happened to you two being a team and having each other’s backs?

Years ago I made a huge mistake that cost us many thousands. I’m sure my husband was pissed off but he never once said anything other than ”don’t worry, we all make mistakes, it’s only money”

No, it's not a normal reaction. I can understand him initially being annoyed and irritated, but then that should have been it. Continuing to shout about it and ignoring you just isn't on especially as it's clear you are dealing with it.

Anyway, he's probably partially responsible anyway because the drain didn't just block when you stepped in the shower. It was probably draining more slowly or a while before it got completely blocked and both of you should have noticed it earlier.

Think I didn’t explain myself - I think my DH would have been justified to lose his shit at me. It was a £50k+ car and I trashed it in the first week by being careless and forgetting there was a second car on the drive where there hadn’t been one before… yet he DIDN’T yell at me, make me pay for it, didn’t hold it against me. He just needed an hour alone to process his anger and then was quiet for the rest of the day because he was, frankly, gutted and now had the hassle of making a claim/paying for it and getting it repaired. None of which he held over my head aside from taking the mick out of me occasionally. I think his response was more than proportionate.

But OP’s DP seems over the top, unless he is angry that he will have to pay for a decorator/lose a day one weekend fixing it, in which case, yes it was a silly mistake, but perhaps OP needs to recognise that DP now has the hassle of fixing it (vinegar water wont fix water damage stains). If her tone is blasé and defensive (a shrug and ‘I said I was sorry, didn’t I? What’s your problem’), this issue may be one of clashing communication styles because he may actually be pissed off less at the damage and more at how he is perceiving her attitude towards it. If it is their first home, if he feels they have stretched themselves financially to pay for it, it is totally understandable that DP is cross (I’ve been furious at my kids for less) - but if OP is genuinely sorry and actually gets it fixed, then you’d hope he would get over it.

We’re only getting one side of the story here.

@Moai its def your DH overreacting. The whole point of getting with someone is surely to act as a team which means you absorb the crap together as well as the good? Yes he’s human so you’d expect emotion in the way of frustration and massive annoyance but after that he should just calmly be discussing a way forward, what went wrong and how to prevent it happening in the future. A partner reacting like that would have me on egg shells overly checking and worrying and that’s no way to be!